


To be mine

by TheBirdBotherer



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Cullen is so wholesome, DDLG, Daddy Kink, F/M, I have issues, Inappropriate touching, Jealous Solas, Lemons, Lolita, Modern AU, Possible smut, Protective Solas, Slow Burn, Solavellan Hell, Teacher-Student Relationship, Underage - Freeform, age gap, daddy long legs vibes, don't read if offended easily, highly inappropriate relationship, no seriously this is gonna take a while, oh my gosh why am i writing this, spoiling, very slow burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-11
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:01:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 38
Words: 77,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27508033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheBirdBotherer/pseuds/TheBirdBotherer
Summary: The empty room next door is being filled by a new tenant. The elusive stranger next door soon becomes entangled in an inappropriate age gap romance with Lavellan. The secretive relationship evolves into one of mutual benefit.-Ellana looked on with more curiosity, cracking the door open even more. Flinching hard, she notices Solas observing her from where he stood next to his slightly ajar door. His shirt half open, tie completely undone, eyes ablaze with desire, lipstick stains littered across his neck and collarbone.“What did you do to her?”“It’s not what I did, it’s what I didn’t want to do.” Solas answered in a vague manner.“What did you not want to do?” Ellana pressed further.“Her.” Solas replied once more, monotonous and distracted, eyes hazy on Ellana's lips.
Relationships: Female Lavellan/Cullen Rutherford, Female Lavellan/Solas
Comments: 171
Kudos: 66





	1. First impressions matter

You know that moment when your parents shut off the fan in your room and you wake up covered head to toe in sweat, sticking to your blankets and feeling the anger of a thousand wrongfully picked up house cats? That was what Ellana felt as she woke this very morning.. or afternoon, way past noon actually. The sound of luggages in the hallway and the thudding of shoes going up and down the stairs. Conversations of varying volumes echoed through the hallway, voices of the moving contractors laughing. 

She grunted loudly, shoving her face back into her pillow. She knew her guardian was meaning to rent out the spare room since her foster sister left to complete a masters program abroad, but she didn’t know it was going to be this soon. Now she has to begin that process all over again, getting to know someone, getting angry when they leave their dirty plates on the counter and then getting yelled at, all the trappings of flat sharing. 

She missed Astra already, she used to be there for her when she cried, when she felt alone, and now she was alone again. Astra was like the big sister everyone wanted, she made Ellana feel normal again. Her guardian, Deshanna, did not believe that the arts were a viable career path and had been in the process of dissuading Ellana from pursuing graphic design. Despite being against her choice, Deshanna still purchased a tablet and relevant art equipment for Ellana. She didn’t think her guardian could do much if she did eventually get into a prominent art college, but that was something she had to deal with when the time was right, and that was possibly two to three years away. As a sophomore, Ellana mostly wanted to focus on passing her exams and getting the right internships. 

Ellana was unsure if the new guest was another problem teen Deshanna decided to foster or if it was just some yuppie moved to this part of the city to start their career. 

_She desperately hoped they did not listen to loud music._

Ellana hurled her alarm clock across the room to the wall closest to the other room, watching it bounce on the floor with an audible crack as the plastic cover flew off the battery cover and land somewhere under her desk. She was not sure when it happened, but moments after the house became quiet again. Ellana briefly wondered to herself if she wanted to prolong her peace or if she wanted to just get it over and done with and head out of her room to meet the new housemate. 

She made her way to the closet, pulling out an ankle length dress in the hunter green that she loved. First impressions matter, she wanted to assert her dominance in this household and come out strong. After a touch of lip stain and some mascara, she decided she was ready. Hair braided neatly, Ellana reached for the doorknob. 

At first, a small crack to check if there was someone in the corridor. There was no movement, so she got braver. The room next to hers was open for the first time in a month, the door swaying slightly. Ellana inched forwards, her heels clicking softly against the marble tiles. It was empty, but the room had clearly been occupied and invaded thoroughly. Papers on the desk, neatly stacked. Leather suitcases, a dresser that was ornately carved, a cello in its case, a music stand, sheet music, an easel leaning against the far wall. Ellana smiled, whoever this new housemate was, she felt she was going to get along spectacularly with. 

The room smelt faintly of incense, the new houseguest had good taste. She ran her hand over the sheets freshly made. Silk, 700 thread count at least! Shoe boxes tucked under the bed revealed that it was a male housemate. Ellana observed that they were all name brands, although toned down in appearance except for one pair of electric blue suede shoes. Eccentric, artistic, and neat. Ellana let out a sigh of relief. Indulging her desires just a little more, she leaned down to take in the scent on the pillowcase before laying down and feeling it against her face. Oh… it was luxurious. It takes someone who was making a substantial salary to be able to afford renting in this neighbourhood, and Ellana considered her apartment to be one of the nicer ones. 

Moving to the closet, she palmed through the textiles. Muted earth tones, natural fibers, expensive wool suits and cashmere scarves. Ties hung in cascading colours, cufflinks in a box, a camera box in the left corner along with a scented diffuser of stone and gems. 

The rustling behind her made her jump, the sound of pencil dancing across the rough 150gsm surface of a drawing pad. Spinning around, she is faced with a sketch of herself looking into the closet, shaded in roughly and covered over with some coloured shading. The new housemate said nothing, only holding it up to her with a smile as he sat on the bed. Ellana looked on curiously, moving to sit beside the new housemate. A sudden heat coursed through her face, he was a sight for sore eyes indeed. That jawline, that lightly muscled form hidden under a black turtleneck sweater, those long legs.. She couldn’t help but choke back a purr. 

Copic markers scattered across the bed, shades of green and yellow, some of them lay precariously uncapped and threatening to stain the sheets. Sitting down with the drawing in her lap, Ellana reached for a darker green shade, adding dimension to her dress and texturing the lace trims. The stranger watched with a smile but otherwise said nothing, handing her the next hue darker and capping the previous marker she was holding. Once it was completed, Ellana searched for the box of markers, finding it open by the edge of the bed. She reached for a shade of purple to contrast. Shading in a part of the background, the stranger handed her a white felt tipped marker. 

“You can use this one for the reflective floors, I find it adds a little something to an otherwise quite translucent colour which the markers produce.”

Ellana squinted at the label. This was an expensive brand of markers. Looking up at him for the first time, she notices how close they were sitting. His eyes a brilliant shade of blue, his head shorn and his ears long and pointy. Bolting out of the room, Ellana rushed into her room to the box of open pastels on her table, reaching for the titanium white before returning quickly. 

“I like mixing oil pastel with marker. The matte texture shows up nice even though it smudges easily and that’s kinda annoying.” 

“ I have a fixative spray,” the housemate replied, reaching to another box under the bed with boxes of capped spray paints. “You can layer over after.”

Tilting her head in concentration, Ellana filled in the tiles and the mirror’s reflection in the sketch. 

Handing the sketch back to the stranger, Ellana watched on at what he was about to do. She observed him standing and opening the window before spraying the A5 sized sketch outside the window, shaking it in the wind before bringing it back in. 

He leaned over the table with a pen, writing something on the sketch before he made his way back to where she was seated. Placing it on her lap, he remained quiet. 

On the edge of the paper was the date, and his name in a neat penmanship.

**_ Solas.  _ **


	2. Ditching Ameridan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Getting to know the flatmate

She hasn’t changed one bit since she bought that dress. 

The dress clung to her form, beautiful shadows forming along its drapes. She remember first buying it and being “too young” to wear it. Deshanna had made her keep it for when she was attending her formal dance. She was two years too young for her senior’s dance, but she was asked to attend by the son of a friend of Deshanna’s who went to the same school. 

He must be utterly repulsive for him to ask his mother to set him up with a date for the dance, he had the strangest name too -Ameridan. Ellana chuckled to herself as she slipped her shoes on and attempted to buckle the tiniest sparkliest buckle ever. Grunting as she fell to the floor with a thud, Ellana knocked a jar of paint water off the edge of her table. It was as if it happened in slow motion, the splash over her dress leaving a darkened stain against its satin gleam. Horror filled her throat, the cold water contacting her skin and splashing the side of her face. She was sure it would make her mascara run, and it would take forever to restore it. 

“ _Well damn._ ” She cussed under her breath, attempting to manoeuvre herself out of the situation and returning the half filled paint cup back onto her desk. A soft rapping against her door made her look up.

“Come in!” She offered, stepping away from the puddle on the floor. She had 45 minutes before she needed to leave the house, she made a mental calculation of how long it would take to find another dress and then catch the bus. 

“Goodness, Ellana!” Solas rushed to her side, pulling out his handkerchief and dabbing her dress where it was damp. 

“I had a clumsy moment.” Face turning scarlet, Ellana felt Solas’ large hands on her shoulders moving her to sit on the edge of the bed, adjusting her dress to prevent further damaging it. 

“I figured, but you do look beautiful in this dress.”Solas smiled up at her, patting her feet dry with the almost completely damp hanky. “I hear a boy has asked you to his senior’s dance?” 

“Ameridan, yeah, his mother is friends with Deshanna.” Ellana elaborated, slumping her head. 

Solas tilted his head, sitting on the floor by her feet.

"Do you know him?"

"Not really, I think I met him once when we were children."

"Do you want to go to his dance with him?"

"Well I don't really have a choice, Deshanna is asking me for a favour. I don't think I know anyone going except for maybe two.. three people." 

“Do you have another dress to wear? I can probably drive you down if you wanted, I’ve got some time now.” Solas offered, stroking her calves gently. He folds the hanky neatly into a square before tossing it into the laundry basket near her bedframe. 

“I don’t, this was the dress I really wanted to wear and I actually did for like an hour, and then I went and messed that up.” Dejected, Ellana smiled sadly, enjoying the feeling of his hands back on her calves. A part of her mind wondered if this was appropriate behaviour, although she largely pushed that thought away because she wanted to see where this was going. 

“Well that’s too bad, what about that other green dress? You just wore it the other day when I moved in. That’s a pretty dress too right?”

“It’s in the wash, I don’t even think it’s going to dry tonight. Forget it, I just won’t go, I’m not actually that invested in going, I just wanted to look pretty. Hand me that box of makeup wipes please? ” Looking down to meet his eyes, she felt a shiver travel down her arms and her spine. She couldn’t tell from his face what he was thinking or how he was feeling. 

She observed Solas reach over to the table effortlessly, removing her entire box of makeup and handing it to her. Ellana fishes out the wipes before erasing her painted face. Solas remained quiet, watching her intently as she removed her mascara. 

“Leave the lips, they are still perfect.” He suggested, taking the soiled wipes and tossing them into the bin. 

Ellana did as he suggested, wondering if he wanted her to leave them because he liked them. A small feeling of joy pooled in her mind, accelerating her thoughts. 

“I’m thinking of ditching Ameridan. What sort of loser needs his mother to get him a date right?”

“Do you want to get ice cream?” Solas stood, offering his arm and completely ignoring what she said previously. 

Her eyes darted to the pink dress hanging on the side of her dresser, freshly pressed. Walking over to grab it, she offered her back to Solas. 

“Zipper.” She requested, to which his long fingers unfurled her dress all the way to the hip before he stood to look out the window. Hastily, she ungloved herself from the long dress and replaces it with the pink long sleeved dress. 

“Zipper again- thanks.” 

She observed his eyes gliding down her form, a look of adoration slowly dispersing across his features as the edge of his lips curl upwards. "You look very pretty in this dress too, or maybe I'm just biased." 

“Ice cream before dinner?” 

“You haven’t had dinner?” Raising an eyebrow, Solas let out a noise of disapproval. "Is this poor time management or are you on some sort of convoluted diet?" 

“I was going to eat when I arrived, there’s catering! I hear Cassandra P. is going to spike the punch so I was kinda looking forward to that..” 

“I haven’t had my dinner yet either, maybe I’ll take you out to dinner and then after than we can get ice cream. I'll let you have some wine if you promise you won't tell.” Solas’ eye lit up, walking back to his own room. Ellana notices the sound of keys being removed from a container, followed by the thud of the wardrobe door closing. 

“ Oh no, I can’t impose, Deshanna wouldn’t be happy with it, really. And Ameridan will tell her all about it and I’ll probably get in trouble. Also wine is... eww. Apple cider on the other hand, I might be tempted to try.” She rolled her eyes, already anticipating the berating that awaits her if she didn’t go. 

“What if we drop by school first, you show face for maybe five.. ten minutes.. and then we go for dinner? My treat, I’m sure you don’t want to be eating out of a plastic plate in such a beautiful dress on.” Solas returns with a dark blue jacket slung over his shoulder, velvet shoes and ruby cufflinks. She felt a small flame ignite, he was actually getting dressed for her, like as if they were on a _date._

Ellana weighed her options, she would get the satisfaction of showing up and actually getting to brag that she attended a senior prom, without being surrounded by a bunch of people she didn’t know and spending her evening with a complete stranger.. not that Solas isn’t also a complete stranger that has lived in her house for the past week. Nodding, she reached for a pair of more sensible shoes under her bed. 

“I’ll just go start the car, I’ll be at the lobby.”


	3. retrospect

This wasn’t what she expected at all. Pulled into the front of the house was a glossy two seater sports car. Its curves sloping and elegant, almost dangerous looking. She briefly wondered what Solas did for a living to get to afford such a nice car. Getting out of the driver side, Solas opens the door for Ellana, a hand tucked behind his back. 

“My Lady?” He smiled, placing his hand on top of her head to prevent her from hitting it as she got in. 

The interior was even more impressive. Black and gold, the seats were plush and sunken in. The lit up dashboard was an unexpected shade of electric blue. Closing the car door behind her, Solas slides effortlessly into the driver side once more, adjusting the seat to accommodate his long legs. 

“Seat belts! Safety first!” He announced, adjusting the rearview mirror.

“Says you! You’re the one who drives this beast of a car.”

“Hey, I’m a good driver. I have spacial perception.” He retorted with a smile. “What’s the address to your school?” 

“Give me your phone.” Ellana enters the address into the maps application, setting it to take the shortest route. “Here.”

“Alright, Skyhold High, in and out. What do you want for dinner after?”

Ellana remained silent, feeling the base rumbling under her seat. His choice of music was also sincerely unexpected. She had no idea he was someone who enjoyed indie female vocalists or sports cars from the way he arranges his room. She always took him as some.. vespa driving hippie. 

“I’m not sure what I want for dinner, you?”

“We could go somewhere near the beach, I’m sure the weather is quite friendly, or maybe you want something closer to home?”

The engine purred softly, but she could barely hear it, suspecting it was the insulation of the car itself that prevented the noise from getting in. 

“How fast does this thing go anyways?”

“Fast enough that I can get you to the coast and back on the same evening.”

“Nice. But you need to go 50 now, this is a school zone.” 

“Right… school zone. Safety first.” 

Ellana noticed the scent of cedar in the car from the diffuser plugged into the USB. Taking advantage of his concentration on the road, Ellana turned slightly to observe his features. 

“Solas? What do you do exactly?”

“All sorts of things. I am a tenured professor of art history in Skyhold University, I volunteer on weekends, I enjoy painting and music, I am a collector, I am also a cat enthusiast.” 

“Cats? I wouldn’t have pegged you as a cat lover. You seem more like a.. dog person.”

“Excuse me? Dog person? Do I look like I want to walk a creature daily?” 

“I’m just saying, you’ve got the.. look of someone who likes dogs.”

Solas stole a glance at her, twisting his features into one of disbelief. 

“What even does that mean?”

“Forget I said anything!” Ellana pouted, arms akimbo and looking out the window. 

Solas let out a small chuckle, shifting his left hand off the steering wheel to turn her chin towards him. 

“I’m sorry I was just teasing.” He purred, trailing a finger down her nose. “I’ll stop now.”

Ellana narrowed her eyes in the darkness of the car, watching him return his focus to the road. 

“Do you have a girlfriend?” Ellana asked more boldly. 

“No, I am unattached.” Solas replied, his eye peering over at her. “Why do you ask?”

“No reason.” Ellana said softly, “You just seem like a very eligible bachelor, and it’s suspicious.”

“Suspicious! So now being single is a crime? What about yourself? Gorgeous little thing like you.”

“I think someone in my school likes me, he’s been dropping hints, but I’m just not that interested in him.”

“Oh? Do tell.”

“He’s a year older but he’s in my class because he travels a lot with his family.”

“Why don’t you like him back?”

“Because relationships are a lie. They’re a means to an end.”

Solas let out an amused noise, blinking hard at what he just heard. 

“Jaded so young? Now there’s a story I want to hear.”

“No you really don’t. I’m over it now.” Ellana grimaced, looking at the GPS and wondering how long more she would have to sit in the car with these questions. Three minutes. 

“Alright fine, keep your secrets.” Solas raised his eyebrows yet again, his shoulders relaxing. “ I’ll wait in the lot, you can come out when you’re ready. I’ll be making a reservation in the meantime.” 

“Sounds good, where are we going?”

“It’s a surprise.”

The fairy lights decorating the pagoda in front of the venue shone across the windshields of the cars lined neatly in the lot. She watched students in various formalwear streaming into the narrow path, the telltale sign of a camera flash every few seconds as the soft chatter of girls lined up taking photos with their friends near the lawn filtered into the car. 

She let out a sigh.

“I kind of don’t want to go.”

“Say the word and I’ll drive away.”

“No, I have to do this.” Ellana slumped back into the car. “I’m going to be cold though.”

“Here, have my jacket please.” Reaching to the back of the car, Solas hands his jacket over to her, draping it over her form.

“Thank you.” Ellana grins, sniffing it aggressively and plunging her face into the soft texture. 

“Strange child. Go reject your date and come back quickly, I’m not staying in the disabled lot for long I don’t want to get fined.” 

Ellana slid out of the car, wrapped in his jacket and feeling a certain thrill as the cold evening air prickled her cheeks and left her contacts feeling dry. 

The boy waiting on the bench by the patio looked surprisingly familiar. 

“Ellana! Over here!” He stood, waving.

“Ameridan? It’s been ages, look at you!” Ellana smiled, offering a hand instead of taking his hug. 

“Nice ride, and the whole jacket dress combination you’re rocking is very contemporary.. shall we head inside? It’s freezing out here! ”

“Actually I wanted to come and tell you that I’ve sort of got plans with some of my friends tonight, and I didn’t wanna stand you up so I dropped by to let you know that if you wanted to ditch, that’s also cool.” Ellana explained, not expecting the lie that she had woven. 

“Ah. I get it, they’re seniors and you don’t know anyone so it would be sort of awkward if you had to stay the whole time. That’s alright, I totally understand where you are coming from.” Ameridan smiled sadly, tucking his hands in his pockets. 

“My mother actually made me come to this because she didn’t want me to skip it to play DnD with my friends out of town. I did bring a laptop just in case so I can always just go to some cafe with Wifi so I guess two birds one stone right? I mean your friends can join us if you want.” 

“Nah, I’m ditching to go bowling, I just didn’t want to leave you hanging because that’s not a nice thing to do to someone.” Ellana smiled, “I’m so sorry, I’ll see you around okay?”

“Of course. Hey, don’t worry about it really, I was going to ditch too but I didn’t want to leave you hanging in case you did show up! Have fun with your friends! ” 

Sliding her hand away, she ran towards Solas’ car once more. Ellana glanced back to see Ameridan pull out a laptop and also head towards his own car. 

Returning to the warmth of the sports car, Ellana noticed Solas had his eyes shut. She observed him for a moment before looking ahead. 

“Was he devastated?” He offered. 

“Not at all, he had his laptop ready just in case, this actually turned out quite well.” Ellana pulled his jacket closer to her skin, taking in its scent. 

“Then he is a fool. Too bad, looks like I get you all to myself then.” Solas continued, reopening his eyes once more and shifting gears to reverse out of the lot. 

“I’ve made a reservation, I’m friends with the owner so we got a table quite easily, have you heard of The Diamond Lass?”

“I’ve read about it! They set the cheese wheel on fire and all right?” She gasped, remembering the article she read reviewing their extravagant menu. The fact that Solas knew the owner was even more incredible to Ellana, who was used to either cooking by herself or just eating whatever Deshanna brought home for her. 

“Are you excited?”

“Uh.. Who wouldn’t be? Of course I’m excited! This is insane, you don’t have to take me somewhere nice!” 

“But I want to, and it’s a well lit place to get to know someone. The drive back would be beautiful, the stars are quite visible on a clear evening. Besides, I’m trying to make a good first impression.“ 

“You made your impression by moving next door with a ton of art equipment.” 

“I suppose I did.” 

Ellana watched the night sky turn darker overhead, the trees passing by quickly as Solas sped down the deserted highway. Trees turned into rocks, and then sand. It wasn’t long before they approached the coastline. Long stretches of sand like flour, boats glimmering like dots on the waves. Seabirds overhead calling as they return to their nests. Ellana rolled down the window, feeling the wind comb through her hair. A strange feeling of future nostalgia crept into her thoughts as she wondered if she would look back upon this moment as a good or bad decision. To go skip a dance and go to dinner with her housemate whom she barely knew was in retrospect a bad idea, but she was too curious to let it go to waste. 

“What are you thinking about?” Solas questioned, driving ahead. 

“I’m wondering if I’ll look back at this moment with joy or pain.”

“That’s curious, I’m wondering the exact same thing.” Solas replied quietly. Hitting a sharp curve along the highway, he accelerated.

The sudden inertia caused Ellana to inhale abruptly, reaching for his hand on the clutch. 

“Sorry that was bumpy, the new upgrade on this model makes it quite sensitive to me so I might have overdone it.” 

Ellana nodded, letting out the breath she had been holding. “I wasn’t scared..”

Solas chuckled softly, shaking his head, “Sure you weren’t.” 

Letting go of his hand, Ellana gingerly and reluctantly returned it to her lap.

“You don’t have to let go if you don’t want to.” Solas offers his hand, placing it on her lap palm up.

Ellana looked at him inquisitively, wondering why it felt so wrong to hold his hand despite it being such an innocent gesture. Perhaps he merely saw her like a younger sibling, perhaps he has a younger sibling he treated this way. Ellana silenced her mind, lacing her cold fingers with his and laying back in the seat. 

“I’ll protect you, I’ve never had an accident before, don’t worry. Close your eyes if you’re scared.” 

Ellana eyed the edge of the car and the drop of the cliff to her left before shutting the window and blinking hard. She does not recall when it was that she had fallen asleep, not until the beeping of the parking detectors went off as he was pulling into yet another parking lot. The lights of the restaurant spilled brilliantly into the driveway, the queue of beautifully dressed people in evening jackets and long dresses littered the walkway leading up to the restaurant. Despite it being a weekday, the crowd had nevertheless gathered. 

“Don’t worry, we have a reservation,” Solas winked, leaning over to caress her shoulder, pulling the jacket closer to her form. 

“What if you get cold?” 

“Backup jacket.” He confirmed, pulling out yet another jacket from the back seat, this time in sea foam green, trimmed with black edges. 

_ Of course he had a backup jacket.  _

Ellana rolled her eyes, removing her seat belt and stepping out of the car. 


	4. Yes

You know the restaurant is expensive when they don’t even list the pricing beside the menu item anymore. This is usually an indication that you aren’t afraid to drop some money on that meal without checking if you have enough in your bank balance. It’s an even bigger indication when the name of the dish does not in any way describe what the food item is, or what it contains. 

Everything after that was a blur, Solas spent majority of his time explaining the flurry of dishes served in small portions one after the other, often in strange containers or odd jars with smoke coming out from it. Dinner felt a lot more like a show than it did a meal. 

Ellana took mental note of the flavours and textures and tried to keep track of them all, some of them include:

Leek and potato soup served in a beaker and somehow is also in a foamy consistency. 

The smallest and most delicious piece of pork she’s ever had

Some dish that included the word “squab” and “artichoke”.

Spicy chocolate in an emulsion form with some kind of bacon sprinkle. 

A bite of purple rice on a ladle twice its size, perfumed with herbs and spices and gold leaf.

_Some kind of noodle_ except it’s made with salmon powder but it tastes savoury and familiar.

Ice cream but in a spherical gel form. 

And that was just the beginning. 

Ellana can safely say she is about to experience the largest case of food coma she can imagine possible. The night was getting darker above. It would seem Solas frequents this restaurant, for the servers all address him by name and he paid the tab without even looking at the receipt. The walk back to his car was quiet and familiar, her arm laced on his elbow, Ellana shivers under his heavy jacket. Head on the leather seat, she fell fast asleep feeling content and full. She did not much notice Solas after that. 

The vehicle barely rumbled along the deserted highway, the street lights spilling in occasionally as they sped back the direction they came. The purr of the engine faded to the back of her head as she adjusted in her seat. 

Reaching over, Solas pulls on the tab under the seat to lay it back, allowing her to recline more comfortably. 

“Wake me when we get home?”

“Of course, you just rest.” He coos, a hand leaving the steering wheel to stroke her arm. Solas turns the volume of the music down, changing the playlist to classical piano. 

“Thank you for tonight.” Ellana yawns, snuggling further into the jacket. 

“My pleasure.” He replies in barely a whisper, eyes glued to the road ahead. 

Time always seems to travel faster when you’re asleep. Yet, somehow you always run in slow motion in your dreams, and only ever when your dream gets scary. Ellana drifted in and out of consciousness along the way, one time she even noticed how fast he was going. She recognised the street approaching her home, the trees carefully pruned by the topiarists into shapes of birds. The sleek sports car pulls into the automated garage. Florescent lights above flicker on and the car halts into silence. 

Reluctantly, Ellana opens one sleepy eye, hurting with how bright it was. She notices Solas had already gotten out of the car. His shadow cast upon her as he opens the passenger door, Solas reaches down to undo her seat belt before pulling her into his arms. 

“I can walk.. _I know how to legs.._ ” Ellana grunted, drowsy and feeling her head grow heavy. 

“Sure you do. You know how to … legs..” Solas chuckled, guiding her head onto his shoulder and carrying her up the stairs towards her room. 

“ You smell nice.” Ellana giggled, nestling her head into his neck.

“You have good taste, this is actually my favourite cologne, I’ll get you a bottle if you’d like.” Solas chirped, approaching her room and placing her down onto her bed. 

Ellana held onto his hand tightly. 

“Are we home?”

“Yep, safe and sound. Do you want to get into more comfortable clothes?”

“I am comfortable.” Ellana defended, pulling his hand closer to her face and nestling into his palm. 

“Sleep well, my dear.” Solas smiled, almost hesitantly removing his hand from hers. 

Solas moved to shut the main light switch off, opening her windows for ventilation and leaving her night light turned on by the desk. His footsteps steady and slow, clicking against the floor before settling next to her. Bending low, he places a kiss over her temple and pulls her blanket over her shoulder. 

“ _Goodnight Daddy._ ” Ellana whispers absentmindedly.

Solas tenses, feeling a sudden heat travel to his face, his hands stiff against her shoulder. 

“Goodnight, _babygirl._ ” Solas mouths against her temple, pressing yet another kiss on the same spot. 

The light disappears as he shuts the door behind him. 


	5. Lies that they believe

The following weeks were strange. 

Deshanna was still out of town handling her shareholders, she had called the night before to apologise for not coming home for such an extended period of time. Fundraising and marketing were a part of her job, and she had to do them whether she liked it or not. Ellana was indifferent, she was used to being alone without supervision, this has led her to develop a keen sense of independence and self reliance. 

The previous week she celebrated her 16th birthday with her friends, Josie and Cullen, bowling gutters as she felt distracted thinking about her strange flatmate whom she may or may not have feelings for. 

“Seriously if you don’t want to go bowling you could have called and we could have just chilled out by the pool or something.” Josephine whined, draping her arms around Ellana who was staring into space and sipping the final few drops of juice from her cup.

“Yeah, you don’t seem to be enjoying yourself.” Cullen piled on, sitting on her other side. “Oh my goodness you have a crush don’t you. Is it that guy who sits two rows down in your bio lab class? The transfer student.. what’s his name?”

“Pavus? Pavus something.. the rich kid with the hair.”

“Dorian. And no. I’m pretty sure he doesn’t swing this way.”

“Seems straight to me.” Cullen teased, taking the juice cup away from her and extricating a piece of ice to chew on in an obnoxious way. 

“Pretty sure he isn’t, Cullen, he uses the same lip tint as me.” Josephine burst out in laughter, slapping Cullen’s back. 

Ellana groaned, burying her face in her hands. 

“Awww tell us. Who is it?”

“No. I can’t tell you because I don’t have a crush on anyone, just drop it already.” Ellana mumbled into her palms. 

“Liar. You’ll crack eventually. She’ll crack eventually.” Pulling Ellana up, Josephine begins listing all the boys in their class and then their level. This would continue for the rest of their excursion before she returns home only to wait for Solas to come home in the evening and go straight to his room. 

For the past few weeks, Solas mostly avoided being in the same room as her or making any sort of eye contact. This has left her feeling quite angry, sad or neglected. She was not sure completely what it was that she felt. She couldn’t recall what she could have done to offend him. 

Slumped against her bed, her pencil danced over her sketchbook, drawing out the guidelines of a deer. Switching to a darker pencil, she started filling in the details more concretely, her eyes darting back and forth from her reference image to her sketchbook. Footsteps in the corridor, two sets of them. 

One set was a pair of heels. 

The door shuts in the room next to her. 

Ellana felt a stone in her throat, her heart pounded fast and painfully against her chest. She stopped everything she was doing, her blood turning to ice in her body. What was this new feeling? Why did she have this reaction to this new piece of information?

She couldn’t make out what they were doing or saying. 

Ellana shifted quietly to the wall that separated the rooms, pressing her ear against it. She heard thudding, shoes being flung onto the floor, giggling. Breathing faster, Ellana searched her mind for her feelings. Why did she feel this tightness in her collar, or her ears getting hotter? 

Clenching her fists in her dress, she stood to return to her bed. Maybe headphones might help. He didn’t belong to her, he was single, and very eligible. And rich. I suppose those were traits other eligible women would like. Ellana wasn’t sure when it started, but soon she felt hot tears streaming down her face. 

Just as she reaches the corner of her bed, she hears the crashing of glass on the floor, clanging and breaking, followed by accusations flying across the room. 

“You’re a real piece of work Solas, you know that? You’re in a whole new category of fucked up!” The woman screams, flinging the door open. “ Don’t call me, don’t text me, just don’t.”

Her feet were no longer clad in heels. Ellana cracks the door open to witness her stomping across the hall, pink frilly heels in her hand, smudged makeup over her eyes and lips, tears also streaming from her eyes, jacket half removed. She glances at Ellana as she passes, pausing briefly as her eyes widened and her brows turned into a knot. Somehow this made Ellana feel better. She briefly wondered what was so appalling in Solas’ room that made the lady run away fast. Maybe she realised he owned more clothes than she did, and got angry? Or maybe Solas did something truly terrible to her, in which case Ellana felt quite ambivalent. 

Ellana looked on with more curiosity, cracking the door open even more. Flinching hard, she notices Solas observing her from where he stood next to his slightly ajar door. His shirt half open, tie completely undone, eyes ablaze with desire, lipstick stains littered across his neck and collarbone. 

Inhaling sharply, Ellana locked eyes with Solas. 

“Are you okay?” She whispers from behind her door. 

“Of course, my darling.” Solas’ expression turned from anger to adoration almost immediately. “Are you crying?” Squinting, Solas moved closer.

“No, I’m not.” Ellana growls, shutting the door hard before locking it and breathing hard.

Ellana notices his footsteps leading back to his room as he shuts the door delicately. 

Moments later, a soft rasping against her door. Ellana does not answer. The rasping became more urgent. 

“Ellana? Are you alright?” 

“Maybe you should go after your lady friend, she seems more upset than I am.”

Another set of knocking. Ellana was getting annoyed. Door flying open, she crossed her arms and looked down at her feet. What happened next was not something she could expect.

Pulling her close to his chest, Solas presses her form close to his heart, his cheek resting on the top of her head. He stayed in this position for several moments. 

“I apologise that you had to see that.” He sighed, moving her further into her room before closing the door behind them. Reaching into his pocket, he removed a stick of peppermint lip balm, spreading it across his lips and returning it to his pocket. 

She was unsure when she became so open to him. Perhaps this familiarity was developed from her constant snooping around in his room, or his pretending that he did not know she was snooping around in his room. Ellana uncrossed her arms, reluctantly wrapping them around his waist as she took in his scent. Straddling between platonic and inappropriate, Solas lets out a laboured groan, pressing a kiss on the top of her head. 

Noticing Solas had changed his outfit and removed all the makeup stains off his skin, Ellana pulls away briefly to look up at him. Her red eyes betrayed how she felt, so painfully and so childishly. 

“What did you do to her?”

“It’s not what I did, it’s what I didn’t want to do.” Solas answered in a vague manner. 

“What did you not want to do?” Ellana pressed, putting her head back onto his chest. 

“Her.” Solas replied once more, monotonous and distracted. He weaves his hands into Ellana’s hair, massaging her scalp slowly. 

“I see.” Ellana answered, shutting her eyes, feeling entranced. She noticed the extra heavy layer of cologne he had put on, possibly to mask her scent on him. 

What did that statement mean? More importantly what does that mean for her? Did he not want to.. do.. the lady.. because he had someone else in his heart? Does that mean he’s still available? She was way too young to be allowed to like him like that. Was this just a crush? 

Ellana pressed her eyes close harder. 

“Enough about me. Why were you crying in your room?” Solas purred, his grip on her form just as firm as before. 

“It’s really nothing..” Her mind scrambled to make up an excuse. “I.. was sketching and I couldn’t get the shape right and I got frustrated.” 

“What were you trying to draw?”

“A deer.” 

“Do you want to try again later or do you want me to show you some hacks?”

“I think I want to reattempt later.” Ellana untangles herself from his arms, moving towards her bed to reach for the sketchbook and placing it in his hand. 

Tilting it to the light, Solas examines it with a critical gaze. 

“This is not bad, I think your only limitation is that you’ve never seen a real deer before. Maybe we can go hunting, it’s easier to show you how to draw something that’s real. I’m partial to the occasional camp cookout, I can teach you a few things.” He mumbled, pulling out a pencil from his pocket and tracing over the area of the ears that he thought could be adjusted. 

“Solas, why have you been avoiding me the past few weeks?” Ellana enquires in an all too sweet tone. 

“I apologise if it seemed that way. In truth I had a few things on my mind and was fully distracted by work. I’ve basically been holed up in the University library trying to archive the newly arrived books. I had no idea you wanted me to pay attention to you.” Solas retorted, his tone mimicking hers, almost like a challenge. 

“I don’t.. want your attention..” Ellana answered, looking at her feet dangling from the bar stool next to the window. Her neck prickling with goosebumps, she felt a flame ignite in her solar plexus. 

“Is that why you’ve been going into my room whilst I’m not around? Hmm? I know you like jumping on the bed, I can tell when you move the pillows around!” Solas purred.

Ellana remained silent, looking at the details in the floor and trying hard not to answer his question. The absence of his embrace around her made her feel cold and uncertain. 

“I don’t mind it, this is after all your house. You don’t disturb my documents, and the room always smells nice after you leave and you leave it how you found it. “ Solas continued, placing her sketchbook on the table, shutting the cover. He floats over to sit beside her feet on the floor. “I promise I’m not ignoring you.” He reassures her, his hands reaching for her stubborn hands resting on her lap. 

Silence. She purses her lips tighter, avoiding his gaze. 

Solas places a gentle kiss on her kneecap, almost like how an older brother would comfort his younger sister if she had fallen down. 

“I want to see the books.” Ellana finally replies, her lips in a soft pink stroppy pout. 

“I can take you to the library if you’d like. I can show you my office at the university, maybe you can speak to an admissions counsellor about applying for the fine arts program which I teach.” Solas promises, stroking her hands in his. “Please don’t be angry with me?” 

“I’m not angry with you, I have no reason to be angry with you because you didn’t do anything wrong to me.” Ellana insists, moving to sit next to him on the floor. Insinuating herself on his lap, she adjusts his arms so they drape around her form. “It’s not like I like you or anything.” She continues in a less confident tone. 

Letting out a soft chuckle, Solas puts her back in his embrace. 

“I feel strangely protective of you, Ellana Lavellan. You are a peculiar creature.”

“And I don’t feel anything for you, you’re just my super talented older professor flatmate.” Ellana chirps back, mumbling into his shirt. 

“So I can let go?”

“Don’t you dare. _You’re warm and the window is open_.”

“I see how it is, I’m the space heater, huh!” He laughs, his voice filling his lungs. “I’ll go fetch you a sweater if you’re cold.”

“No!” Ellana tightens her grip around him, feeling quite entranced by his presence. It was like a dream, getting to hold the person you have a crush on. The person who also happens to hug you back, who is definitely way too old for you to have feelings for. 

“Solas?” 

“Hmm?”

_ “Is this wrong?” _

Solas grew silent. Ellana couldn’t tell what his expression was, only that his heart started fluttering faster. 

“Possibly.. Probably..” He answered curtly. “Do you want me to stop?”

“No.” Ellana replied meekly, barely a whisper leaving her throat. “Please don’t go.”

She felt his fingers almost dig into her skin as they tightened around her. Solas inhales deeply, holding his breath for several moments before letting it out slower than he inhaled. 

“Who is Deshanna to you? You’ve never called her Mother.” 

“She’s my foster parent. I don’t know who my real parents are.”

“I’m sorry.” Solas continued stroking her hair gently, adjusting where she sat on his lap on the floor. 

“Do you want to know who they are?”

“In a certain way, I’m kind of happy with how I turned out so I don’t really want to know, but at the same time I can’t help but imagine what it might feel like to actually have someone who cares about me. I have an older foster sister, Astra, but she’s off to college at the moment and she barely writes back anymore because it’s midterms.” Ellana reaches for Solas’ top button near his neck, toying with the nacreous button, doing it and undoing it over and over again. 

“I’m sure they must regret leaving such a wonderful daughter. I’m sure they had their reasons.”

“They could have a good reason, or not, I try not to think about it.”

“I see.” Solas rocks her gently in his arms, swaying as he secures his arms more around her. “ Do you see me as a parental figure?” 

“Goodness no. I feel safe around you, I feel that you take care of me, and I feel like I can be myself around you. I like being able to do that.”

“You called me Daddy the other night.” Solas lets out a chuckle. “You were really sleepy. I just find it quite amusing. “

“Is that why you’ve been avoiding me? You don’t know how to feel about that?” Ellana was sure she was the colour of beets now, if not for the fact that she was sitting in his lap, her face buried in his shirt. 

“I don’t know how to feel about you in general. Or at least, I know how I’m supposed to feel about you, but I don’t feel that. This makes me feel quite anxious.” Solas admits, whispering into her ear. 

“I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel about you, or anyone. I don’t have a comparison to anything.” Ellana’s voice remained monotonous so as to not give away her true feelings, the reality of which was quite plain. “I only know that what I feel for you is wrong.”

“What makes it wrong?”

“It’s unusual and slightly illegal.” Ellana responds in a matter of factly way, extricating herself from him once more. 

“How old are you?”

“Sixteen..” Ellana trailed off into a squeak. 

“Well, nothing is happening between us, and who knows, you’ll go off to college and you’ll develop a crush on someone else.”

“I _do not_ have a crush on you!” Ellana almost hissed, falling back into the bed. 

“Neither do I,” Solas follows her to the bed, sitting near her knees. 

“Great. Let’s agree to never talk about this again.”

“Sure, there’s nothing to discuss.” 

Now it was Solas’ turn to be surprised. 

She wasn’t sure what took over her, but before she knew it, Ellana had reached a hand up to his neck and pulled him by the shirt onto the bed. A deep feral growl left her throat as she climbed on top of him, pulling his arms over his head firmly. Allowing herself one more glance, she shuts her eyes tightly. 

Now or never. 

Ellana lowers her lips onto his, feeling them melt against his, tasting the peppermint lip balm he had applied earlier that evening. She waited, the second seemed to last forever. He did not resist, simply allowing her advances. 

“ _There, see? I feel nothing._ ” Ellana growls, pressing her lips onto his once more with ferocity. 

“Really? _Check again._ ” He encouraged, straining his neck to return his head up to her, a gesture she took full advantage of. 

“I’m checking, I still don’t feel anything. You?” Ellana moaned, her tongue entangling with his as he ran his fingers down her leg, pulling it up against his waist. 

“Neither do I.” Solas replies with an urgent and passionate hiss, feeling Ellana’s hand reach for his neck and pulling him close.

Another car in the driveway. Ellana and Solas both looked out the window at the same time, noticing the headlights of the baby blue convertible coming up the driveway. Stealing one more kiss, Ellana bounces off of Solas quickly, pulling him up and quickly tying her hair up into a bun. Solas adjusts his shirt and trousers, alerting Ellana to the very visible member lurking beneath the dark denim of his jeans. Ellana cleared her throat. Solas plants one last kiss on her lips before dashing back into his room. 

The key in the main lobby door, turning and clicking, its metallic springs announcing the arrival of people. 

“Ellana? I’m home!” Deshanna’s voice echoed in the hallway downstairs. 


	6. interruptions and barbecue

Clearing her throat, Ellana descends the winding stairs to meet Deshanna in the lobby. 

Suitcase dripping with rainwater on the floor, Deshanna struggled to tame her recently drenched umbrella. Black patent leather shoes leaving wet blotches all over the rug in the corridor, Deshanna removed her soaking shoes and slipped into some indoor slippers. 

“Ellana, be a dear and lock the door please? How was the dance? Was it fun? Did you wear that dress I wouldn’t allow you to wear?”

Ellana dashed to the door, locking it with a click before flitting over to grab the suitcase and transporting it towards Deshanna’s room on the first level. Ever since her ACL tear, she has been avoiding the master bedroom upstairs and opting instead to move to another suite on the first floor. 

“It was fun, I went for a while but then I left because I wasn’t feeling well, and I wore the dress but then I messed up and had to changed and ended up wearing another dress instead, which is sad but I’m totally over it now.” Ellana answered halfheartedly as she retrieves a clean towel for Deshanna and turns on the heater in the room. 

“How was your trip? Is the publishing agency going to agree to your terms?” Ellana ran up to her, just so her slight breathlessness would make it easier to hide a lie, the lie being that she was at all interested in whether the publishing deal fell through.

“Oh, you know, they’re gonna look at it and then they’re going to deliberate and then ultimately they’re going to agree to the terms. That’s just how they are, they want to feel involved in the process.”

“And your shareholders are okay with that?”

“Yep, I’ve handled it. Hand me that hairbrush?” 

Ellana reached for the brush on Deshanna’s vanity before sliding it over to where she stood next to the floor length mirror. 

“Thank you love. Did the new house guest get settled in? I know you’re upset with me because I promised not to find someone until Astra confirmed that she was going to stay for the term break, but she texted that she was going to road trip with her friends and I didn’t know if the book deal was going to fall through so I wanted to make sure we still had some passive income.” 

Brushing and patting down her head of gold hair with the towel, she twisted it neatly into a low bun before securing it with a pin. Deshanna removes her jacket, hanging it on the dresser and moves to put on a clean dress. 

“I miss Astra.”

“I know baby, I know.” Deshanna places her arms around Ellana and puts her head on her slender shoulder. “Astra will come home after her degree okay? “

“Yeah, I’m sure she will.”

“I miss her too, and I missed you so much!” She continued, pressing a kiss over her head. 

Ellana gleamed, returning the embrace. 

“Let’s go say hi to the Professor hmm? After that we can all catch some dinner and get to know each other.”

Ellana blushed, remember what had transpired earlier. Her hands all over his torso, his lips pressed against her own. 

“Okay.”

“Don’t be unfriendly, I bet you haven’t even come out of your room once to say hi to him yet. Seriously, Ellana this is no way to be a host.”

“How do you know him? How did you even find him?”

“He’s colleagues with Halward, you remember Professor Pavus from Tevinter right? I was having a discussion with him regarding the citations of his thesis and Professor Solas happened to walk in so he sort of made an introduction. After our dinner he mentioned that he was actually transferring to Skyhold University so I offered the spare room to him. I figured you would like someone who actually appreciates your artistic talents.”

“You had dinner with So- Professor Solas? “

“Yep, just the University cafeteria, he was a charming guy, I think he might have a thing for me!” Deshanna touched the side of her nose and winked at Ellana. 

“Ohhh, are you thinking of dating again?”

“Pshh no. No man can make me straight.” Deshanna laughed, “And I’m not really looking for anything right now. I have you and Astra and that’s all I need. I don’t need some guy to make me feel happy.” 

Deshanna made her way to her suitcase, pulling out a small gift wrapped box and another paper bag that had been crumpled to fit into the suitcase, and made her way up the stairs to the second level with Ellana following behind. 

Knocking on Solas’ door, Ellana shifted with anticipation. 

“Professor!”

“Ah, if it isn’t the soon to be top selling author Istimaethoriel, please come in!” Solas smiled, his eyes darting to Ellana briefly. He was dressed in a completely different outfit. High neckline, buttoned up, conservative sweater. His room was once more returned to its immaculate state. Pulling out one of the chairs near his desk for Deshanna, he fills a glass with wine and hands it to her. 

“Thank you, rough ride back home, the driver got lost twice!” Deshanna grinned, taking the glass. “How are you liking the room? Has Ellana been friendly?”

“I like the room just fine, Ellana has been lovely, she’s very talented, I sincerely hope to mentor her further so she can achieve her full potential.” Solas responds politely. 

“Ahh, so she’s got a future in this you think? I was hoping to convince her to go into Business Studies or maybe even Media Management, I guess I’ve just lost that fight huh! Anyways, I brought you something from the Imperium, I figured this might be important.” Deshanna hands over the paper bag carefully, its contents rattling within. 

“Ahh, my oils, thank you. Looks like my old office has been cleared out, they really don’t want me to come back I see.” Solas raises his eyebrows, placing tubes of half used oil paints from reds to blues to greens on his table and then locating a box to house them. 

“And this is a little gift from us to you,” Deshanna handed over the gift box next. The size of his palm, he opens it with ease. 

“They’re cufflinks.” Deshanna added, squeezing Ellana’s hand.

“I see, thank you, I’ll wear them at my next conference, these are too nice thank you for them.” Solas smiles warmly, leaning back into his chair and putting the cufflinks in one of the drawers on the table. He crosses and uncrosses his legs before reaching for a sketch on the table, the one they completed together on the first day. She places it on the table in front of Deshanna.

“Your Ellana is very gifted, to allow her to do anything other than Fine Arts would be putting her in a cage when she clearly needs to fly. _Of course a safer route would be to study Arts Management or Art History…_ ” Solas tilted his head, making eye contact with Ellana who blushes a deep shade of red. 

“ And become a professor like you? I suppose that’s one way to go.” Deshanna takes a generous sip of wine before placing it on the table. 

“ Everyone tries to solve the problem in their own way. If you keep treating Ellana like she’s a problem to be solved, she will become the very thing you feared she become. I think maybe it would be nice if she forges her own path, don’t you think?”

“ She still has some time before she needs to decide, who knows, maybe she will change her mind!”

“Hey I’m standing right here guys!” Ellana chirps in, arms crossed with an expression of feigned anger. 

“Of course if she decides to take Art History and you become her professor, then I supposed you’ll have to find somewhere else to live! Seeing her both in class and at home will drive you INSANE.” Deshanna jested. “ You’ll have no place to escape from her.”

“Oh, I’m sure you exaggerate. She’s been so quiet the last few days.” Solas chimed in. 

“Quiet! My, you were really angry with me weren’t you?” Deshanna frowns, looking up at Ellana who was stood awkwardly beside her. Reaching for Ellana’s hand, she takes it firmly in her own. 

“I’m really sorry you feel I’m replacing Astra. She will come home after she’s done with school, and you’ll still see her on break! I promise I’m not replacing her. “

“I know.. I just feel like it’s happening so fast.”

“Alright, enough of this sadness. Shall we all head out for dinner or - “ 

Just then her phone rings obnoxiously in her pocket. 

“I’m so sorry, I have to take this..” Deshanna makes a face of apology before she heads to stand facing out the door, leaving Ellana with Solas.

She takes the seat that Deshanna had left, feeling the warm cushion beneath her bottom. Solas winks at her before reaching to stroke her shin with his foot. He retracts it immediately noticing that Deshanna was done with her call. 

“So. My co-author is actually having a slight argument with me at the moment regarding the paperback copy of our book, and she’s threatening to sue me, so I’m gonna need to go down to her place and try and talk it out. Can we do a rain check on dinner?” Deshanna winced, not looking up from her phone pinging with message alerts.

“Ohhh okay she’s crying now. I’m so sorry guys, I really have to try and settle this, I literally just signed the publishing deal and now she’s trying to accuse me of credit hogging when very clearly she was the one who didn’t want to fly all the way out there to handle this deal with me. Gosh, these people!” 

Deshanna hugs Ellana once more tightly. “Good to be home, I promise to make your favourite stew tomorrow okay? I’m going to go and see Bianca, I’ll just be an hour or so! Professor, it’s nice to see you again and I hope this room is to your liking!”

“Actually I was heading out to dinner, perhaps I could take Ellana with me, “Solas offered, standing. 

“ Would you please? Gosh thank you so much, yes please make sure she eats her greens. Again, let’s do dinner tomorrow okay?” Deshanna’s voice soon disappears down the hall. Moments later, her footsteps clicking fast towards the garage and the mechanical whirring of the garage doors. The baby blue convertible sped out of the driveway and into the rainy night, leaving only imprints on the gravel of the driveway. 

“What did you do to Halward?” Ellana asked once she made sure Deshanna was well out of the way. 

“We have some.. differences in ideology, and we had a very public fight in which I damaged his ego, and then he threatened to have me kicked out just because I'm an elf, I refuse to work in a faculty with no tolerance for minority races. I decided to transfer out of Tevinter.” Solas answered with diplomacy, tilting his head to the side. 

His eyes darkened with desire once more, shifting to sit on the corner of the bed. Solas patted his lap twice, opening his arms to Ellana who went over to him all too willingly. Pressing her head on his shoulder, she clung onto his neck tightly. 

“That led me to you. I can't say I'm unhappy with this situation. Are you warm?” he coos, pulling his jacket over her hands. 

“Yes.” 

“Safe?”

“ _Very safe._ ” She chuckled. 

Solas let out a contented sigh, his eyes meeting hers and holding her gaze. 

Ellana took the opportunity to lean forwards, initiating another kiss and pushing him back onto the bed. 

“For real though, I do think dinner is in order. Are you feeling moderately hungry, not hungry or very hungry?” Solas continued, allowing her to hold his arms up over his head. 

“I’m moderately hungry.. although I have something else on my mind.” Ellana purred, attaching her lip onto his neck greedily. 

Solas lets out a muffled moan. “Yes vhenan, I know what is on that mind of yours and I can’t say I’m not thinking the same thing, but imagine if we were to stay right here and then we didn’t get any dinner, and Deshanna wonders why we’re sneaking out in the middle of the night for takeout.. “

Ellana blushed a deep red at his endearment for her, removing herself from his arms and sitting upright once more. 

“Right. _Sorry._ ”

“I know a really nice charcoal grill place and it’s open till late, and they have ice cream, does that sounds interesting to you?” 

Ellana considered for a moment, looking at the fabric of the bedsheets before nodding. 

“I’ll meet you at the lobby. It’s going to be hot I suggest you wear something you don’t mind smelling like barbecue because it will stay in that outfit until you wash it twice over.” Solas stands to grab the car keys before dashing out of the room. 

Grinning, Ellana looks around, stealing one of his jackets. None of her clothes were going to smell like smoke after this. She turns the lights off in the room, leaving only the light on the study table before heading down to meet him. 


	7. forbidden things

The night was silent once more. Ellana peered over to the clock on the far side of the wall. Time was dripping away and blending into space, barely noticeable. She recalled her dinner that night. The most delicious and succulent grilled meats, cheese of various different unpronounceable origins, and fancy glasses. The waiter even mistook her for Solas’ sister. She was feeling slightly smug about it. 

Thinking about how they had dinner made her heart beat faster. The way his legs intertwined with hers under the tablecloth, how he held her hand and her waist, the way he tried to make her happy but sharing about his conflict with Halward. 

A slight wetness pools between her legs, she lets out a soft moan, feeling her hands travelling down to sample the wetness and spreading it over the heated apex of her thighs. A shiver of delight traversed her spine, prickling her skin. She slid a finger all too easily into her awaiting lips, moving them in and out slowly and imagining how it would feel like if it were his fingers. Or better. 

Sitting upright, an idea rang in her mind. She took mental note of the time. 1.30am. 

Deshanna had returned home earlier that night and had already turned in, she made sure of that before she snuck back into the room. It was uncharacteristic of her to wake in the night to go anywhere else so Ellana definitely would not be caught. 

Removing her small clothes under her sleep dress, she tiptoes out of her room and shuts the door quietly behind her. Gripping on the doorknob of Solas’ room, she turns it trying to make as little noise as possible before entering. It took several moments before her eyes adjusted to the darkness. 

On the four poster bed, he lay fast asleep, his shirt slightly open and his sleep trousers loose around his waist, a visible bulge hiding under the fabric. Ellana felt a thrill course through her mind as she smiled, walking over to his side. His face was peaceful, eyelashes long against his cheek. Sitting down on the space beside him, she slides into his bed, pulling his sheets over her. 

After moments of nothing happening, Ellana grew more bold. She inched forward to nestle against his neck, placing kisses from his jawline up to his chin and stopping right before she meets his lips. Solas lets out a whisper of a moan, his eyelids fluttering slightly before they half opened. 

“I couldn’t sleep.” Ellana whispered. 

Solas returned with a smile reaching a palm to her face. “It’s a school night, I told you not to order the coffee cake didn’t I?” 

“Yeah but it was delicious.”

“It was so good right? Let’s go back again next week.” 

Solas reached forwards, pulling her into his arms and adjusting the blanket over them both. 

“You’re making it very difficult to preserve any sort of innocence on your part, you know that?” He chuckles softly in the darkness as he coaxes her into a spoon. His hardness rests comfortable on the small of her back, heated and eager. 

“Why do you assume I’m innocent?” 

“You’re right, I should stop that.” He mumbles, nuzzling the back of her neck. “I wake up at 6am, I’ll return you to your room when I do so you don’t get in trouble.” 

“Thank you.” Ellana replies softly, the desire in her mind suddenly awakened once more. She moves to position her hands between her thighs once more, pressing on her arousal before sliding her fingers in. The bed jostles slightly under her ministrations. 

“Okay now you’re making it really really difficult.” He says in frustration, his hands moving up to her arms before landing around her shoulders. 

“I was actually here because I wanted to borrow your hands..” Ellana admitted, her heart fluttering faster as her hands went faster on her dribbling core. 

“We can’t, Ellana..” Solas begged, turning her to face him. “ I can however do this..” 

He locks his lips with hers, stroking her neck gently as she lay on her back. Ellana felt a wave of pleasure crashing upon her body as he did so, feeling his tongue enter her lips and gliding over the roof of her mouth before exiting. He continued doing so, his member now pressed against her thigh. With his right hand, he grabbed Ellana’s hand, guiding it down from his neck to her folds. 

Ellana moaned into his lips, going faster as he moved his lips to her neck. 

“Solas..” She purred, her chest rising and falling with pleasure. 

“Hush, enjoy yourself.” He encouraged, suckling on her collarbone and consciously remaining in the region and going no lower. 

Her fingers went slower, now going in circles over her clitoris, feeling her wetness dribble down the side of her thighs and onto the bedsheets. Feeling his engorged member against her thigh, she reached for it with her spare hand, eliciting a hiss from Solas. She moved her hand up and down gently against the fabric, clenching tightly as she felt her oncoming orgasm. 

“I’m close..” She whispered against his lips. Her fingers grasping even tighter around his cock, Ellana whimpers through her climax, breathing rapidly and squeaking into his lips. Solas lets out a soft moan, pausing only to observe her pleasure. 

“Good girl.” He praises, prying her hand off of his still hard member. 

“Can we do that again?” 

“I think the limits of my self control are used up for tonight.” Solas chuckles, grabbing her wrist and inspecting the wetness on her second and third digit before putting them in his mouth. “I refuse to violate you or do anything of the sort until you are a little older. Making out is something sixteen year olds do. I’m still in the median acceptable range of behaviours.” 

“But you didn’t..”

“That’s alright, my pleasure is not important.” He lies. 

Ellana frowns.

“Can we do the same for you?” 

“Hmm?” 

Ellana presses her lips onto his, propping herself up so he was laying on his back. She guides his hands onto his erection. 

“Oh my darling, you are too sweet. But no, I do not think I have the self control for something like that.. I sincerely hope you have enjoyed yourself though.” Solas moves her back into a spoon position, his straining erection once more on the small of her back. 

“I’ll return you to your bed at 6am. You must be sleepy.” 

Ellana blinks, drowsiness returning to her mind once more as she felt her body relaxing into his embrace. She laces her fingers with his as he nuzzled her neck lovingly and softly. She would wake up in her bed once more the next morning, tucked in snugly with a dress laid out on the dresser and a note peaking from under her pillow. 


	8. undeserved pain

Ellana does not often wear black. The wrap around dress was velour, understated and suspiciously comfortable. Long sleeves clung onto her arms like a glove with a side tying ribbon.She examined herself in the mirror. This was perhaps too intense for a Wednesday. Furthermore, she had debate club right after. 

She procrastinated reading the note, but eventually gave in. 

The parchment was browned at the edges with gold detailing. The envelope it came in was wax sealed with the stamp of a wolf. Tossing the envelope rather haphazardly onto her bed, Ellana examined the handwriting. Cursive script, bordering on the line of illegible, aligned to the left with good kerning and spacing. Ellana was impressed. The letters looked like they were pressed in too hard, by someone who was under deep stress. 

“My beloved, 

I hope you like the dress. I purchased it after our first dinner, noticing you didn’t have many formal outfits in your repertoire. Please put it on for me after your classes end and wait for me at the parking lot in the Fortnum Gallery behind Block A of your campus. As I have chosen your outfit for you, you may choose one for me from the selection I’ve laid out in my room just to be fair.

Til we meet

S.”

Ellana grinned, wriggling out of her dress and folding it neatly into her book bag. The note was also tucked back into its envelope and put in a secure folder in her bag. With some forethought, she decided to go with the glossy Mary Jane heels to match her dress afterwards, opting for a deeper oxblood lip stain as compared to her usual pink cherry blossom shade. She darts into Solas’ room, staring at the various black jackets he had hung up along the frame of the four poster bed, looking at the sheets she had lain in the night before. A warm feeling bubbled up in her chest as she reached for one with gold buttons and a red pocket square. She slung it over her shoulders and pulled it close, she was developing an affinity for wearing his clothes. 

Gathering her belongings and putting on her usual Wednesday dress, Ellana headed downstairs to wait for Cullen and Josephine to pick her up. Crossing the kitchen, she notices a sandwich wrapped in foil with a post it on it with her name. The other was Solas’, and he seemed to have written a thank you on the same note and stuck it back on the counter. Ellana did the same but stuck it on Deshanna’s door instead. 

Cullen’s dark blue all terrain jeep pulls into the foyer. Josephine pushes the door open and pulls Ellana into the back seat with a smile. 

“Hey you, you didn’t text back all night, what happened? And wow, this new sense of style? Me likey. Alot. Where did you get this sick jacket?” 

“Thrift shop, thank you, and yeah I’m trying something new. I did not do much last night actually, I got stuck with this sketch and I wanted to get it right so I turned off all my devices.” Ellana lied, adjusting her book bag and putting on the seat belt. She was both unnerved and thrilled at the fact that she was getting more comfortable with lying, although starkly aware that this was a huge red flag. 

Cullen peer back from the driver’s seat. 

“ Has this got to do with the new professor living with you guys?” Cullen teased, looking back at the road quickly. 

“Nooo… “ Ellana mumbled, scrolling through all the messages she had missed. Josephine was ranting about how annoying her sister was, and Cullen was trying to be supportive, their other friend Leliana has not been online since two days ago, but for some reason she was still a part of their circle of friends. 

“Hey you guys never say anything when Leliana dissapears.” 

“Yeah that’s because it’s normal for her to do that. You’re basically stuck to your phone Ellana.” Josephine added, plugging her phone into a power bank. 

“So we were thinking that after school we were going to check out that exhibition at Fortnum Gallery for our art paper. Are you in?”

“Fortnum Gallery?” She felt a shiver go down her arm. “I don’t think they’re open today..” Ellana lied once more, trying to steer her clique away from the area. 

“No I checked, they’re open.” Josephine cut in, pulling out her journal and showing her the record of their name card. 

Ellana shut her eyes, wondering how she was going to sneak to Solas when her friends were going to be lingering. 

“Maybe you guys should go ahead, I have Debate after.” Ellana took the journal, adding a little heart onto the corners of the page with the pen she kept in her pocket. 

“Sounds like you’re trying to blow us off, wanna share with the group?” Cullen glanced back once more as he made a U-Turn onto the main road. “You’re going on a date aren’t you?”

“What, no! I’m just going to be very tired after Debate and I’m kind of on my time of the month and I’m just exhausted all the time..” Ellana elaborated, almost giving too much information. 

“I had no idea, I’m so sorry”, Cullen smiled apologetically, throwing his rugged and slightly torn bag from the front onto the girls. “I have chocolate in the front pouch. My sisters always get cranky so this is the best way to avoid trouble.” He offered. 

“Thanks, you’re the best.” Ellana ruffled through his bag to find two bars of uneaten but slightly melted chocolate. She stuffs one into her own pocket before passing the bag to the front. 

“Okay I have to confess something. I actually do have something after Debate, and it’s at the Fortnum Gallery.” Ellana groaned, leaning on Josephine’s shoulder. 

“I knew it! You were trying to get ahead of us and do the report before everyone right? Gosh you are such a teacher’s pet, Ellana the overachiever, you always have to make us look bad hmm?” Josephine hugged her tight and shook her with feigned anger. 

“Yea… _I was going to do that.._ ” Ellana groaned, this was way worse than before. 

“That’s okay, I’m just hoping we can get in without admissions if we have student cards.” Josephine nodded, packing all her belongings back into her leather satchel just as Cullen was pulling into the school parking lot. The decor from the Junior dance was still hanging, like a reminder of what had transpired the night before. 

Locking the car with the beeper, Cullen caught up to the girls who were already heading into the campus. 

“Lunch together?” Cullen’s bag rattled with whatever metal equipment was hiding in there. 

“Oh I can’t, I’ve got auditions with the dance team. I’ll see you guys at 3?” Josephine beams, twirling and almost tripping on her shoelaces. 

“Yeah I’m sure it’s going to go well..” Ellana winced, clutching onto her arm before she tipped over. 

“Okay I’ve got to run~” Josephine reaches her classroom and ducks in, catching the door before it closed. 

Cullen walks along with Ellana. 

“So, I er.. was going to ask you if you wanted to hang out.” Cullen smiled, looping his arm around hers. 

“Oh, when? And is it going to be somewhere we like or is Josephine going to pick again?”

“No I meant just us.. “ Cullen trailed off, positioning himself in front of Ellana and holding onto both her hands. 

“ _Oh. Just us._ ” She whispered softly, her eyes meeting his big blue ones. He looked so happy, so warm, so open. 

“Yeah. I mean we don’t have to if you don’t want to.” Cullen backtracked, looking away. 

“Oh, no I want to! I really want to. I would love to hang out with you. Without Josephine.” Ellana smiled sweetly, clutching his hands tightly. This was going to be a better distraction and cover, although if she did end up dating Cullen she would have to explain why he was never allowed to come over, or why she constantly turned down actually hanging out with him. Admittedly she had feelings for him when they were younger, but they quickly diminished after he went out with another classmate of theirs, an Evelyn Trevelyan. Their romance was quick to fizzle out after she realised her real love was for Sera, who was in her Chemistry class. 

“Great! Maybe we can just.. _not tell Josie_ until we see where it goes?” Cullen continued, leaning closer. 

“ Of course, my thoughts exactly. Can you keep a secret?” Ellana purred back, taking a step forwards as well. 

“You know I can.” Cullen winked. 

Ellana grinned, she was unsure of why she felt so conflicted taking advantage of him like that. Was it because she really had feelings for Cullen or that she felt guilty she was attracted to another boy? 

Leaning up, she pecked him on the chin. 

“I’ll text you.” 

“You look beautiful today. I wanted to tell you that, and hey, I’m here for you okay? I have many sister I know how to take care of a lady. I really like this new glow about you, not sure what’s different but I like it.” Cullen released his hands slowly before waving and heading into the locker room. 

Shutting her eyes and letting out a sigh, Ellana’s thoughts went to how she writhed in pleasure with Solas last night, how she moaned and purred and wriggled in his arms. How he made her feel important. The thought that maybe Cullen made her feel important too sent flames down her throat. 

The rest of the day was rather uneventful, she spent most of it taking notes absentmindedly and pondering her relationship with Solas and Cullen. Cullen even stuck another bar of chocolate on her locker door before she finished her class. Grabbing the other melted bar of chocolate, Ellana hauled her bag towards her debate class. On the orange door with peeling paint, was a piece of paper tacked onto it with the words “Debate class postponed, log into your student portal for tournament schedule.” 

So now she had two hours before she had to meet her friends. This meant she could sneak away and come back before they could catch her, or she could tell them that she went ahead and did the research before them without ever being caught. 

Scrolling through her phone, she realises she does not have Solas’ number. Like any tech-savvy teenager, she turned to her amazing stalking capabilities that she developed from stalking all of Josephine’s love interests. She searched up the Skyhold university school catalogue until she found the art department tab. Clicking on the drop down menu, she scrolled to Solas’ name. 

Professor Solas Felassan. 

BA(Hons) - Fine Arts 

BSc(Hons) with Specialisation - Chemistry and Material Sciences 

MA - Arts Management 

PhD - History of Art

A pixelated photo of him was uploaded in the far corner of the description followed by his email. No Phone Number. 

Rolling her eyes, she pulled up her email app before writing in. 

“

RECIPIENT: [s.fel@skyholduni.edu](mailto:s.fel@skyhold.edu)

SUBJECT: School ended early come pick me up 

MESSAGE: <IMAGE1.45PM.JPG> I’ll be at the Fortnum Carpark. 

“

Ellana attaches a photo of her next to the sign on the orange door.

Plugging her ears with her headphones, she unloaded her unneeded books into her locker leaving only the dress in her bag, and headed over to the gallery. 


	9. inklings

Fortnum Gallery, the name was as pretentious as the art inside. Of course there is merit to the art within, but Ellana never understood what the value of “post meta modernism” was. Regardless, that was the subject of her paper, so she had to go to some swanky gallery to find out more. 

Just as she reached for the door of the gallery, her phone beeps with an incoming text. 

—

** JOSIE<3  **

1.52pm 

Guys I just ended I’m waiting by @C.Rhubarbford’s car, gonna get changed first I’m super sweaty from auditions 

** C.Rhubarbford  **

1.52pm 

Gonna be late, can’t find hair gel 

** JOSIE<3 **

1.53pm

@LOVERLLAN are you out yet? If @C.Rhubarbford is gonna be late then I’m gonna walk over first.

—

Ellana felt a jolt in her heart, looking to see if Josephine was coming her way. She ducked in quickly, heading for the bathroom with her bag and loosening her hair. She took mental note of the metal gate where tickets were scanned and the location of the counters and directories. 

Sliding back into the black dress from that morning, Ellana picked up her phone once more and turned it on silent mode. Solas had yet to reply to her email. She was getting worried. Her school dress was promptly shoved back into her bag. She replaces Solas’ jacket over her shoulders. 

—

** YOU **

1.58pm 

@JOSIE<3 Already here. Debate was cancelled. I just arrived. 

** JOSIE<3 **

1.59pm

Sneaky! ETA 2:05pm. Go look around first, don’t wait up. I’m stealing your notes. 

—

Stepping out of the bathroom, Ellana felt like a new person. Floor length black dress, heels clicking, the only thing that betrayed her student status was her book bag. The gallery space was silent, several guests stopping at various paintings and sculptures. The receptionist she previously ignored in her hurry to get there glanced in her direction. 

“ Excuse me miss, the ticketing booth is here,” she smiled, her hand signally to the counter. 

“I got it.” Solas’ voice appeared from behind, his hand on her waist as he slid his business card over the counter with a cold smile. Neatly pressed white shirt tucked into dark dress trousers with a demure leather belt holding it all together. He had several rings on his fingers, and a bracelet on his left wrist. 

“Professor! Didn’t think you would be back so quick.” The receptionist tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear, eyelashes fluttering as she quickly straightened up in her seat. “Is this your sister or your niece?” She glanced in Ellana’s direction. 

“ Neither. She is my Muse.” Solas replied firmly, guiding her towards the entrance of the exhibition. “I’m actually just here to check on the Carter displays, I hear the pressurised boxes are malfunctioning and the artworks are melting?” 

The receptionist follows suit, opening the gate at the far end of the entrance, the one that did not require tickets at all. 

“Yes, right over here.” She trots ahead of them to lead them to the far side of the gallery where several repairmen were hunched over the base of the exhibition and trying to mitigate the situation. Solas took advantage of the moment and pressed a kiss over her forehead. 

“Gorgeous.” He whispered under his breath. “And all mine.” 

Ellana looked away to hide her grin. 

“Aye. That’s something we gotta report to the insurance company.. Unless someone has some dry ice around here..” 

“I’m afraid we don’t have any dry ice.. and we already reported it to the insurance company an hour ago.”

“Well, that’s what happens when your sculpture is made of ice cream.” Solas sighs, putting his head in his palm. “What’s wrong with paint?”

Ellana chuckled, looking to the entrance to see if Josephine was arriving. 

Josephine was arguing at the counter with another receptionist, she notices Ellana in the distance and waves at her, signalling for her to come over. 

Turning to Solas, she tugs on his arm. 

“Give me a minute, I see my friend.” Ellana explains. 

“This is going to take a while on my side, please go ahead, I’ll come find you when we fix this debacle.” Solas replies warmly, observing Josephine as well. 

She trotted over to the gate where Josephine was finally let in. 

“So rude, how did you get in so fast?” 

“I didn’t, apparently my flatmate works here.” Ellana chinned the direction where solas was. 

“That’s the professor? You didn’t say he was cute!” Josephine nudged Ellana in the shoulder before pulling her hand towards the first exhibition stand explaining the works in that row. 

“I hadn’t noticed..” Ellana replied sheepishly. “He’s whatever. Let’s try and get this done quickly okay?” 

“I have an idea.” Josephine grins, pulling out her camera. Discreetly, she takes a photo of the card. “We just take photos and then we go home and analyse them. This place is ridiculously cold.” 

“Smart, so smart, why didn’t I think of them?” Ellana rolled her eyes, pulling out her phone. 

“You take that side, I’ll take this side.” Josephine nodded at the other side of the wall. 

Ellana flitted back towards Solas once more who seemed to be engaged in an argument with whoever was on the other side of the phone. 

She hears a snippet of the conversation as she walks past.Something about security, and certifications and some protocol document that the other person seemed to have failed to sign. She begins to take photos of everything. Ellana does not notice that Solas was standing behind her. 

“What are you doing?”

“Homework..”

“It says no photography.” Solas points at the sign on the wall before sliding his hands into his pockets.

“Then shush it, narc.” Ellana mumbled softly. 

Solas crossed his arms, chuckling. 

“You do know that I wrote those right?” 

Ellana stopped taking the photos immediately. 

“Can you -“

“-Yes I can send them to you.” 

“Lifesaver.” 

“You can tell your friend to stop now, most of it is me writing whilst drunk and sleep deprived.” Solas signalled towards Josephine who seemed to have begun using flash photography. 

“Josie! Pssst, come here!” She hissed, curling her fingers. 

Josephine cackled under her breath before pacing towards them. 

“Josie this is my flatmate, Solas.” Ellana smiled, awkwardly pointing at Solas who was towering over them both. 

“Hi there I’m Josephine Montilyet, nice to meet you.” She nodded, shoving her phone back into her pocket hastily. 

“I was just telling Ellana about how I can just email you guys the catalogue, you don’t have to sneak around taking photos of everything.” Solas smiled, moving a distance from Ellana. 

Just then, their phones simultaneously beeped. 

—

** C.Rhubarbford  **

2:40pm 

Guys I’m coming over. Found my hair gel. 

** JOSIE<3 **

2:41pm 

Stay at the car, Ellana’s flatmate is super cute and also is sending us the notes. You saved yourself a $14 ticket, you’re taking us to get ice cream in exchange for notes.

** C.Rhubarbford **

2:41pm

SWEEEEET. I’ll pick you guys up wait at the lobby. 

—

“It’s just Cullen. He’s taking us to ice cream in exchange for notes.” Josephine grinned, slapping Ellana on the arm. 

“Nice!” Ellana exclaimed bumping Josephine back. 

“He’s coming to pick us up now.” Josephine replied, pulling her arm. 

Ellana looks up at Solas for help. 

“Actually, Miss Montilyet, Ellana is supposed to be helping out at the gallery today, she’s trying out for early entry at the university and I’m here to assess her skills.”

“Early entry? Oh my you really are sneaky aren’t you?” Josephine nudged Ellana once more. “Is that why you were all weird this morning?” 

“I didn’t want to tell anyone until I got in..” Ellana made up on the spot, wincing. “I just don’t want to make everyone excited and then be a dissapointment.” She continued. 

“Aight, I’m going to go off first yea? If you end early text us and we’ll come pick you up!” Josephine gave her a hug before running off towards the door where the outline of a blue jeep passed slowly, followed by two honks. 

Ellana watches as Josephine disappears out the door. 

Solas’ hand returns to the small of her back, guiding her towards the staff exit of the gallery. Closing the door behind them, Solas motions her towards the staff parking spot where his black dangerous looking sports car was deposited. 

Ellana glides into the car, black dress bunched up over her knees. Throwing her book bag into the back, she watched Solas get into the car as well. Shedding his jacket, she hands it over to him. 

“Thank you.” He nods, putting his arms into the sleeves. “You didn’t tell me you were heading down here earlier.”

“I emailed you!” 

“I didn’t receive it, maybe it ended up in my spam?” He smiled. 

Pulling onto the main road, he accelerated towards the traffic light where a blue jeep stopped. Ellana ducked down. 

“Relax, tinted windows.” Solas reached a hand to her. 

“Right. “ Ellana answered sheepishly, returning to her seat normally. “I’ve missed you.” She raised his palm to her lips, pressing a kiss onto his knuckles. 

“I’ve missed you too, did you sleep well?” 

“Yep, did you?”

“You woke me at 1.30am. I managed to sleep for two hours in total.” Solas chided. “I actually have to come up with the teaching materials, you can just doze off in class.” 

“I’m sorry okay?”

“Sure you are. Next time, disturb me before 12.45am.” 

Ellana nodded, looking out the window to see her friends driving off in a different direction. 

“Where are we going? I haven’t had any food and I’m like starving.”

“It’s a secret. I promise there’s going to be food when we arrive.” Solas looked over at her. “You really look stunning in that dress.” He repeats. 

Ellana blushes but does not respond. 

“Solas?”

“Hmm?”

“What are we?”

“What do you mean?”

_ “Are we.. attached?”  _

Solas frowns, looking back at the road. “Why do you ask?”

“There’s a boy in my school who asked me to hang out with him.”

_“And you like the boy?”_ Solas pursed his lips, gripping the steering wheel tighter, causing the leather covers to dent in slightly. 

“No, I just thought it would be a good cover in case either of us got in trouble.” 

“ Clever girl.” Solas smiled, his lips relaxing once more. 

“So what are we?” Ellana insisted once more. 

“I’d like to say we’re attached or dating, although this might not be the traditionally accepted pairing. Do you feel the same way?” 

“I do, I just feel that perhaps it’s best we keep it on the down low, because this might be slightly illegal.” Ellana continued, twirling her hair in her fingers. 

“ _Oh it’s definitely illegal._ I suppose keeping up the appearance of normality could be in our favour. Maybe you should date that Cullen boy, although I am unhappy that I would have to share your moments with another.”

“I don’t feel anything for him.” Ellana answered, keeping her tone even. “He’s just a _conveniently placed red herring._ ” 

Solas glances over once more. 

“I like the way your mind works.” 

“What if he wants to kiss?” Ellana pushed a little more. 

“Do you want him to kiss you?”

“No..”

“Then refuse him. Do what you please. I have your heart, what you do with him to keep up the ruse is _entirely up to you._ ” Solas lied through his teeth, almost hissing at the thought of some else touching his Ellana. “Admittedly, I am not happy about this, but I _see the tactical advantage_.”

“I just want you.” Ellana leaned back into the seat.

“And I have only eyes for you.” Solas replies, reaching over to hold her hand. “And other parts. Heart, mind, entrails. Whatever you wish to have. I will sculpt you into my equal, my superior. That I promise you.” 

Ellana gleamed, observing that they had driven onto an unfamiliar highway. She shifted in her seat with unease. She wondered briefly if Solas would hurt her, however unlikely the action, the thought still lingered in the back of her mind. 

_“Where are we going?”_ She asked once more. 

Solas looks over, cupping her cheek in his palm, as though he detected her distress. 

“I promise that I’m not kidnapping you, although the thought has crossed my mind. “ He let out a chuckle, “We’re heading to Skyhold University, the new campus for the arts is a little out of the way because of the space constraint in the current campus, but I figured you’d want to see what I’m working on. Today they’re doing the opening of the campus with an exhibition and performance by this dancer from Nevarra. It’s open to public, but the tickets for the performance sold out last month, so I figured you might be interested in it since I’m part of the organisation committee. There’s going to be a dance and dinner, and we might have classes in that block, so I wanted to show you around. There’s also a new library building. It's a masquerade themed dance, so no one is going to know who you are in case you ever enroll there. It's perfect." 

Ellana eased, her shoulder slumping down. Pairing her playlist with the car’s bluetooth, she selected her most recent playlist. 


	10. coersion

Lights, curtains, dancers gliding effortlessly across the stage. 

Solas and Ellana sat side by side in the private box above the audiences, curtain drawn heavy and ominous behind them, Ellana tried hard to remain interested in the performance, although she found her mind drifting off to thoughts such as evaluating all the decisions she made to end up in a darkened university theatre with her flatmate who is at least twice as old as she was, with his hand in hers, his jacket over her shoulders and her head leaning on his shoulder. 

The mask over her face was as uncomfortable as it was beautiful, it covered most of her face with the exception of her eyes. Such were the customs of balls in Val Royeaux. Solas turned to look at her. 

“You look bored. We don’t have to stay if you don’t want to.” He leaned down to whisper at her. 

“No, it’s just very cold and it’s making me quite sleepy.”

“Well the performance is going to last for a good hour and a half, after that we’re proceeding on to the dinner in the hall. We don’t have to stay for the entire performance, maybe I could show you my office?” 

Ellana straightens up. 

“Yes. I would like that.” She perks up, watching him leave his seat and help her out of hers. The shoes she selected meant that going up the stairs is easy but coming down was difficult. Solas reaches for her arm, holding her tightly to him as they descended two flights of stairs in the darkness, only illuminated by the exit signs. 

The carpet of the foyer sank under the weight of her heels each step she took. The unfamiliar scent of the air fresheners outside the theatre gates made Ellana inhale sharply. The pair remained silent as Solas led her through the massive complex of contemporary and classical furnishings. Down more steps, across an exhibition space, into a lift, up a ramp, through a tunnel made of flowers and bottle caps, and finally a row of doors overlooking the glass of the windows. Solas led her to the third door down the hall. The door opened after he places his thumb on a scanner, the lock clicking open with a whirring noise as the magnetic latch above released. 

Opening the door into the darkness, she recognises his familiar cologne scent. The lights flicker on from the lamp by the door as the lock clicks shut once more. Solas settles on the couch facing his massive desk. Ellana could not say she was surprised, the decor was very consistent with his bedroom decor. The same fabrics, the same colour scheme, except this office had more shelves and books. Stacks of unmarked papers lay on his desk in the basket above the one that was marked “To be distributed” and also “To be burnt “.Ellana removes her mask, placing it next to Solas’ on his massive table. 

She watches his eyes shut as he leans back on the couch. 

Ellana removes her shoes, feeling the soft carpet under her feet. She notices the painting the size of her palm hanging on the side of the door,in it the subject was wearing a green dress all the way down to the floor, she was standing on a swing and a side of her sleeve was falling off her shoulder, exposing a side of her breast covered in a lacy brassiere. She glanced at Solas, who smiles gently at her. 

“Is this..”

“Yep.”

“I don’t own any lacy underwear.”

“That is easily remedied.” 

“I’m a 32B.”

“Good to know, I’ll remember that.”

Settling next to Solas, Ellana takes in the full size of the office. It was easily 8 meters by 15 meters, with an entire panel of windows and shutters neatly tied up. It even had an adjoining bathroom. The chairs in front of his table that Ellana assumed were for his students were heavy and ornately carved. Display cases with various pieces of sculptures, books, boxes and gemstones littered the room. A dark green lampshade covered the light glowing from his desk, illuminating the various name cards he had scattered in a strategic placement for easy reading. His diplomas and certificates were all on one wall near the window. 

Solas shifted so that his legs were also on the couch, laying down completely flat beside Ellana with his eyes shut. Looking down at him, Ellana shifts closer, placing her palms on his face and stroking his cheek. The soft touch caused him to chuckle and lean into his hand. 

“If I study here do I get to come to your office?” 

“You get to come to my office even if you don’t study here.” 

Straddling Solas and laying on his chest, Ellana places her hand on his neck, feeling his throat vibrate as he spoke. She did not know what to say, watching his newly found comfort around her both surprising and exciting. 

Solas opens one eye to look up at her before he shuts them once more. 

“Do you want me to study here?”

“Of course, but it does not matter what I want. Only what you want.”

“Do you have to move out if I do?”

“Most likely, but that just means you get more space to yourself in the new apartment am I right?” Solas smiles, shifting to spoon her. 

Ellana says nothing, simply curling up next to his chest. She feels his fingers sliding up and down her back before stopping at the small of her hip, pushing her closer to him. Ellana shuffles her hands between them to palm his member. 

“Ellana.. _behave._ ” Solas warns, gulping as he shifted his weight away from her. 

“Do you want me to stop?”

“It.. doesn’t matter what I want.”

“What if I want to touch you?” Ellana challenged, her voice low and alluring. 

Solas gazes at her hazily. 

“You are testing my self control again.” He laughs softly, booping her on the nose with a finger. “Although I might have a solution for that.” 

“Solution?” 

“Yes. It is another surprise, perhaps I’ll give it to you tomorrow, when it dries.” Solas smiles. 

_“WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?”_ Ellana gasps in feigned horror before returning her hands onto his dress trousers, feeling the smooth fabric beneath her fingers awaken his manhood under her palm. Up and down went her palm, feeling the ridge of where his shaft meets his tip. 

“You’ll know tomorrow.” Solas promises, pressing a kiss on her forehead before removing her hand once more and planting a kiss on her wrist. 

Groaning in frustration, Ellana furrows her brows. She wanted desperately to make him feel as she felt, although judging by his reaction to her hand, he already did. Ellana wanted more. Devilishly clever and having absolutely no regards for propriety, she sits up from the reclined couch, moving the ornate chair near the desk closer to the couch. 

“Are there cameras in here?”

“No, why do you ask? And right after deciding to fondle me too,” He laughed, eyebrows raised as he sat up to observe her. 

“ _No reason.._ ” Ellana moved to sit on the chair, sliding her skirt up her legs, exposing flawless and unblemished skin all the way up to her thighs. Solas watches, covering his nose and lips with his hands. 

“Ellana..” He whispers, leaning forwards on the couch where he sat. 

“Hmmmm?” She replies coyly, pulling her panties off without revealing more of her skin. She tosses it as him. Solas catches it in his hand, noticing the wetness. With a chuckle, he puts it in his pocket. 

“What.. are you.. _doing?_ ” He says slowly, his voice quietened as his eyes fixated on hers with desire. 

“You said no touching you. You didn’t say no touching me.” Ellana answered, parting her legs slightly to reveal the wetness between her legs glisten under the low light of the office. 

Solas shut his eyes and hissed. “ _You’re evil. You’re pure evil._ ” He repeated, leaning forwards further. 

Ellana pulls the chair closer to him, her legs now draped over his thighs. Solas catches her calves and massages them gently before moving to her knees. He leans down to kiss her knees once on each side before returning to his previous position, his cock straining under his trousers. 

Ellana’s heart beat faster as she parts her legs further, her hands snaking from the chair arms to her awaiting pussy. She plunges two fingers in and out slowly, showing him the wetness that has coated them. Solas could barely speak his eyes glued to her form, mesmerised by what was happening. 

She leans forwards, pushing her fingers into his lips. He suckles on them willingly and eagerly before kissing her wrist once more. “Thank you.” He hisses, his face turning red as he tries to stay very still. 

“Do you want me to touch here?” Ellana challenges further, indicating to her clitoris now covered by a glistening layer of her wetness. 

“You can do as you wish.” Solas purrs, trying very hard not to pressurise her. 

“I want you to do as you wish to me.”

“And the consequences of what I want to do are more dire than what you want to do.” Solas explains, trying desperately to remain as still as possible lest something unexpected happens. 

“ I know what you’re doing. You’re trying to make sure you never do anything or initiate anything so you’re not at any fault.”

Solas did not reply, instead leaning forwards more to caress her shin with his cheek before moving back to his previous position. 

“You’re a clever girl. But yes, I don’t ever want to put you in a position where I have coerced you.”

“But what if I want to coerce you?”

“You’re already coercing me. You’re much more forgivable than I am in front of a jury.” Solas smiles, his eyes darkening with lust. 

Ellana huffs, unbuttoning one front button.

“No.” Solas begs. “Please.. I’m already trying my best not to..”

“Not to what?” Ellana opens another two buttons, her soft breasts threatening to spill out. 

Solas looks away, shutting his eyes as he pants hard. 

Ellana narrows her eyes, her ego feeling more bruised by the second. She returns the buttons of her dress, shutting her legs and turning the chair away from him. 

“No I’m not rejecting you. I really really not doing that.” Solas apologises, moving the chair back and pulling her back onto the couch. “ _I promise I’m not rejecting you._ ”

Ellana groans, feeling slightly angry. 

“You are the most beautiful, the most fascinating, and the _most exquisite_ creature I have ever met - Will ever meet. I will take you in a bed with beautiful sheets, and I will please you twice over.. thrice over.. as many times as you want, and I will do as you command until I make you very very happy, but not now. I will not take advantage of you.” Solas continues, peppering her face and neck with kisses. 

“Is that a promise?”

“It’s a threat.” He teases, nibbling on her neck gently. 

“And I’ll make you forget all about that lady you threw out of your room.”

“She wishes she was in your league.” 

“Who was she?”

“She’s been flirting with me the entire semester, ever since I transferred.”

“She works here?” Ellana quizzed, feeling an inkling of jealousy bubble in her mind convincing her that she might want to study at the University after all. 

“She’s not from my department, she’s in Applied Sciences I think. I don’t care enough to remember.” Solas remedied, stroking her arms before pulling her back into his embrace. “I am completely yours. Tell me how to make you happy again, I’m sorry I have made you upset.” 

Taking advantage of their closeness and how she was straddled across his hip on the couch, she swiftly removes one of his hands from her arm and guides it to the wetness pooling between her legs. 

_“Ellana!”_ He exclaims as his index finger glides easily into her awaiting pussy lips, eliciting a soft moan of pleasure from her. 

“Hush.” She commands, putting her lips over his as he moves his finger slowly in and out of her, the difference being that he had larger hands than her and this was the most she had ever been stretched. She purred at the pressure of feeling stretched, noticing that Solas has positioned his thumb against her clitoris and was now rubbing her in circles slowly.

Ellana had always been athletic, as a child she had lost her hymen to falling off her bicycle, and since then, like any teenager, she had experimented with various phallic objects in her room. Hairbrushes, fruit, the usual suspects, but never had she been touched by another. 

This new feeling caused her to buckle and collapse onto his chest, moaning into his lips softly. 

“Now you’ve done it.” He growled, pushing her into the couch and moving his finger in a come hither motion quicker, covering her lips with his. “I told you, my self control is wearing thin.” 

Ellana laughs, her voice tinkling and echoing in the room. “Good.” She answered, feeling his fingers coax her into the edge of her orgasm after several minutes of her small noises of joy.

“Please take your pleasure.” He begs against her lips where he knelt by her on the ground as he increased his speed once more, expertly stimulating her wet core. 

“I’m close.” She whimpered, holding his gaze. 

“You magnificent creature.” He praised, attaching his lips to her neck as she felt her orgasm rolling over her body. Heaving with the aftermath of her orgasm, she is once more scooped back into his arms where her eyes were rapidly shutting. 

“Did you enjoy yourself?” He asked, putting his finger between his lips and savouring the gift of her arousal. 

“I want to do that again.” Ellana declared, chuckling as she watched him. 

“I promise it won’t happen again.” Solas chided, pulling her upright. “What about that hunger you were complaining about earlier? Do you wish to miss dinner?” 

Readjusting her dress, she realises she was still missing her panties. She searches the couch. 

“I’m keeping this now.” He patted his front pocket, pulling her up and handing her mask back to her. 

“Fine, you owe me a pair of underpants.” 

“That’s fine with me.” Solas promises, clearing his throat and attempting to get rid of the bulge currently tenting up his trousers. 

“Grass, geometry, sprouts, tax evasion.” He chanted at himself. 

“ _Tax evasion_? What are you doing?” 

“ _I’m trying to get rid of this._ ” Solas motions at his.. _problem_. Ellana places a hand on it once more, sneaking a kiss over the tip and feeling its heat on her lips.

“No no.. you're too dangerous. You’re not helping.” Solas chides, pulling her up to his lips. 

“You’re not letting me help.” Ellana groans, stomping slightly. " _I've read a tutorial.._ "

“Patience. And a tutorial isn't much help without practical experience.” Solas winks, feeling his tension ease from his body. He opens the door, motioning for her to follow. 

“Right. Dinner.” 

Ellana catches his hand, making their way back to the theatre hall. She was melting him slowly, bending him to her will, a small victory that day. All her thoughts of Cullen melted away every step she took with Solas. 


	11. It's a threat

Her phone buzzes, sharp and unexpected, rattling the coins on her desk. She ignored it, instead focusing on finished the last step of her skincare routine. Ellana wipes her slightly damp hands on a nearby towel before reaching for her phone. 

** S. **

12.45am

Your light is still turned on. 

Ellana blinked, looking back In the mirror to examine whether her face has absorbed the product she applied in its entirety. Black dress hanging in her closet, she has now changed into a lilac slip. She typed a response quickly. 

** YOU  **

12.46am 

Yes, I’m moisturising. 

** S **

12.46am 

Will you be joining me this evening?

** YOU **

12.46am 

I want to but I’m exercising my self control as you requested. 

Ellana put her phone back down on her table, proceeding to gather her supplies for school the following day. She had not completed any of the homework she was supposed to as she left to spend the entire evening with Solas at his office. She sighed, trying to estimate how long it takes to cram her art thesis for the following day’s class. The class would start roughly after recess, which meant she had a good three hours before she needed to submit the most impossible and slipshod paper she has ever written. Despite this dread, she did not regret spending the evening with Solas. 

Her phone buzzed once more. She reached for it with anticipation. 

** S.  **

12.48am

I see. I regret requesting it now. 

Ellana stood, grabbing her laptop and cord as she decided to find an excuse. Making her way out of her room, she made sure to shut off the lights before closing the door as quietly as possible. Just as she exited the room, she notices Deshanna from the corner of her eye downstairs with a cup of tea just about to head in the direction of her room. 

“Ellana! It’s so late, what are you doing still up?”

“I have a project due tomorrow and I’m seriously struggling and it’s art related so I was going to ask Professor for help..” Ellana jumped, scrambling for an appropriate response. 

“I don’t think it’s a good idea to disturb him so late, I’m sure he must be tired after grading papers, why don’t I take a look at it?” Deshanna offered making her way up the steps. 

Solas’ door swings open. 

“Ellana if you can’t find your laptop charger you can just borrow mine- _Evening Deshanna,_ ” Solas spurted, his eyes diverting to her. 

“I found it.” Ellana replied, her shoulders loosening as she raises the tangled bunch of wires up to eye level.

“I’m so sorry she’s disturbing you at such an ungodly hour! Goodness Ellana, I told you that you need to stop hanging out with your friends and coming home so late, now you have to inconvenience our guest.” Deshanna chidded, shaking her head as she descended back down. 

“Sleep earlier tomorrow!” She yelled, her voice disappearing as she shuts her room door, leaving Solas with Ellana in the corridor. 

“Thanks.” Ellana swayed from side to side before sauntering towards him. 

“Let’s get that paper done right. You’re going to get an A, I promise.” Solas motioned for her to enter the room. 

Hopping onto his bed, Ellana plugs her laptop into the far wall, wrapping his blankets around her shoulders. He settles in beside her, putting his reading glasses on. In his white long sleeve shirt and sleep trousers, he still looked stoic and put together. Ellana reckons if someone wore that outfit to school it would still be considered acceptable and even stylish. 

“Show me the brief.” Solas requests, leaning over to place a kiss over her shoulder. 

Ellana pulled up a document on her desktop, handing the laptop over to Solas who reads it quickly before closing the document. 

“2k words, should be easy.”

“Says you! I’m already so sleepy.” She lays back into the pillows, squeaking as she does so. 

“Alright, I tell you what. I’ll send you the plaques I wrote for the exhibition, just.. string them together as best you can, and I’ll do the rest. But just this once! I understand I might have been the cause of your uncharacteristic slip in diligence, I’m certain your regular habits are one of a hardworking, wholesome student.” 

Ellana groans, her eyes shut as she feels herself succumbing to sleep. 

Solas reaches for her arm, shaking her gently and pulling her back up. Plugging in a thumb drive close to the table, he pulls up the document of his writing aptly named “PRINT THIS FINAL PLAQUE FORTNUM GAL FINAL FINAL.doc” 

Ellana chuckles at the title, examining it and turning the brightness of the screen down. She copies large chunks from each paragraph and plonks them into her document before she starts the introduction. Letting out yet another noise of complaint, Ellana sighs, remembering she was supposed to send this to Josephine hours ago. She pulls up her email and drops the document into the cloud drive she shares with Josephine. 

Her phone beeps upon the completion of the upload. 

** JOSIE<3  **

1.02am 

FINALLY. Gosh you’re up late. Cramming too?

** YOU **

1.02am 

Yep, prof just sent it to me, he was like busy today or something. 

** JOSIE<3 **

1.02am 

Ah, it’s chills, I was waiting for my sister to go to sleep anyways, she’s been downloading huge files since she change her laptop and it’s seriously affecting the connection speed in my house. I’m happy to get like a C at this point. Legit, I just woke up from my nap I’ve been asleep since after dinner.

** YOU **

1.03am 

Oh goSH I’m so sleepy I want to do a sleep immediately BRB writing a report TTYL

“Focus!” Solas chided, throwing a pillow at her. “You’ll never get this done in time to get at least six hours of sleep.”

Ellana threw him a glare, continuing her report writing. Her fingers danced across her keyboard as Solas scrutinised from where he sat with his arm around her waist. 

“Okay I’m going to teach you the hack tomorrow. Give me the laptop. I think your battery is too low at this point.” Ellana let out a frustrated sigh, laying back into the bed. Solas moves the laptop onto his side, opening up several more documents from his thumb drive and copying them into Ellana’s original document. 

“Is this plagiarism?” Ellana mumbled, her eyes already shut. 

“No.. it’s called being in art school for five years. And it’s not copying if I actually wrote these reports.. you’re just borrowing them. With my permission.” Solas replies with a diplomatic tone, a small smile curving his lips. 

“Okay..” Ellana grins, “I’ll just.. dumb it down tomorrow before I print.”

Solas remains silent, the only noise in the room was the sound of the keyboards clacking away under his slender fingers. 

“Done.” Solas announces after another ten minutes. 

Ellana was on the edge of falling deeply asleep, but she was still lucid enough to register what was happening. 

“Thank you.” She mumbles from under the pillows. 

“Would you like to spend the evening or would you like to sleep in your room?” Solas shuts off the bedside lamp, pulling her into a spoon. 

“Self… control… no.. tempting..” Ellana groaned, wriggling against him before turning over to find his lips with her own. 

Solas sighs softly, feeling her melt into his embrace as her legs tangle around his own. 

“Is that a yes or no?” He manages between stroking her back and running his fingers through her hair. 

“I’m gonna sleep in my room tonight because you don’t want me to be here..” Ellana’s words came out as a slur, her hands searching for his shoulder to prop herself up. She jumps over the edge of the bed, feeling a shudder crawl down her skin. 

“I do want you here. I always want you here.” Solas replies with sadness seeping into his tone. 

“I want your shirt.” Ellana demands, half asleep as she fumbles with her laptop and charging wires. 

Solas quickly sheds his sleep shirt, tossing it over to her. 

“What are your plans tomorrow?”

“Not sure. Might do lunch with Cullen.”

“Ah.. Cullen. I’m sure he will enjoy you all to himself.” 

“Why, do you have other suggestions?” 

“Plenty of alternatives.” 

“Like what?” 

“I might be tempted to lend you my hand tomorrow..” Solas insinuates, watching Ellana grow alert, her face warming up to the idea. 

“That’s a promise?”

“It’s a threat.” Solas chuckles, pulling her closer once more to land another kiss over her neck. “Goodnight, my beloved. I’ll be right here if you want me.” 

Ellana returns his smile before trudging out of his room back into her own bed. 

The following morning would be quite cold, the rain outside assaulting the windows with raindrops like pebbles. The darkness outside betrayed the time it actually was, Ellana’s alarm beeped brash and urgent. She lets out a yawn, arching her spine and feeling its joints pop one by one before she turned to her side to turn off her alarm.  The time was 7am, which meant Solas had already woken and left for his 8am lecture. Blinking, she notices something slightly heavy weighing on her thigh. She froze in her position, trying to figure out if it was a piece of clothing that was balled up or if it was some sort of electronic device she had failed to keep from the evening before. Reaching down warily, she made contact with its cold and smooth exterior. She feels tendrils, though she was unable to make out what it was. 

Ellana pulls the object up to her eye level, gasping and dropping it on the space beside her. 

It was a silicone cast of a hand, fingers parted evenly. Capturing the details of the skin and follicles almost perfectly, fingernails trimmed and curved. She could recognise its owner from anywhere. 

Ellana grinned, lacing her fingers with the cast, remembering where she found it against her thigh. 

Her second alarm rang, startling her and causing her to drop the hand once more. 

7.10am displayed clearly on her phone, she notices the multitude of messages she had not read. 

** S.  **

6.30am 

I’ve left you a small gift, it’s a creative solution to a difficult problem. It’s body safe silicon, washable and non porous. Make of it what you will..

Ellana smiled, placing the hand against her neck. It felt like the real thing, except cold and rubbery. She dragged it down her neck, across the gentle slope of her breasts, across her belly until it arrived at where she truly intended. Pausing momentarily, she felt a shiver roll down her cheeks at the idea of this non-contact solution. With trepidation, she plunges its index finger into her awaiting pussy, feeling it glide in easily from her arousal. She let out a hiss, feeling herself contracting around it. 

Feeling braver, she eases yet another finger into herself. Her body shuddered with pleasure as shepushed it in and out faster. Yet another idea creeps into her mind. Pulling out her phone, she reached to position the frame of her camera close to the area before snapping a quick photo. She examines its composition before sending it off, making very sure it was only to Solas. After the sent receipt was lit up, she deletes the photo but only for her side, and deletes the image from her gallery. 

The response was almost immediate

** S **

7.11am 

I fear I might have found a new way to torment myself. 

** YOU **

7.12am 

Do you want a video? 

The incoming video call jolted her, causing the fingers of the cast to sink deeper into her. Solas’ face appears in the screen as he sat in his office drinking a cup of what Ellana inferred to be coffee. 

“I see you got creative with my present.” He mused, putting the cup down. 

“I’m really enjoying this present.” She moaned softly, moving to straddle it whilst holding her phone to her face. Ellana watches as his face contorted into reluctant pleasure, his eyes rolling back into his head before he opened them again with a muffled grunt. 

“Would you like to see it?”

“Of course.”

“You have to say please.”

“Please, may I watch you?” Solas gulps, placing his phone on the desk as he leans back, his fingers laced as though he was begging. 

“Please, what?”

“Please, my love, may I watch you pleasure yourself?” 

Ellana laughed, positioning her phone so it only revealed her waist to her knees where she straddled his hand on the bed. 

Solas let out a moan of pleasure, his hands still remaining on screen as he breathed a little harder. She felt her arousal heighten, her juices dribbling down the replica’s palm and wrist as she rode it. 

“Does it feel good?” Solas prompted.

“Yes Daddy, it feels good.” She allowed herself to whisper softly. She watches as Solas lets out another groan, louder this time. 

“Yep, I am definitely masochist.” He whispers back, “ Now it’s wayyyy worse.”

Ellana bounces faster, feeling her arousal peaking, she lets out another whimper, keeping the camera steady in her hands. 

“Does Daddy enjoy the view?” She challenged once more, realising the power she held over him in this state. 

Solas lets out another moan, his head rolling back in defeated pleasure. With hesitation, he leans closer to the camera. 

“You definitely know what you’re doing.” He inhales sharply, “yes, I am enjoying the view very much.” He admits. 

“I’m close, does Daddy want me to cum on his hand?” She continues, her hips moving up and down rhythmically as she feels herself buckling under the imminent orgasm. 

“Yes, please cum on my hand.” Solas whispers softly, his eyes fluttering as he lets out another tortured sigh. “I want you to be happy. Please cum for me..” 

He grows silent as he watches Ellana writhe and purr as she experiences the peak of her pleasure before the replica slips out of her, glistening with the evidence of her experience. She crashed back onto her bed, turning the camera to her face once more. 

“Thank you for allowing me to watch,” Solas smiles warmly, his eyes half open and cheeks flushed as he leaned in close to the camera, placing a kiss over the lens. "I guess my next task is to try and get rid of my own problem before class starts in..half an hour I think. What are your movements for today?" 

“Cullen and Josie have first period free, which means I’m already late for the bus.” Ellana pulls on a dress quickly as he spoke. 

“I’ll call you a cab.” Solas offers. “School is 20 minutes away, be downstairs in five minutes. I’ll send you the license plate number when I get the cab.” 

“Alright, thank you, I end at 2 but we might be going out after till 4, so I’m free for dinner.” 

“Of course. I have more surprises for this evening.” Solas winks, hanging up the call. 

Ellana’s eyes darted around the room, making sure all her supplies and laptop are packed before she dashed into the bathroom with her new silicon replica of Solas' hand. She runs it quickly under some soap and water, dabbing it dry and wondering where would be a safe place to store it. She decides to place wrap it up and place it in her school rucksack for the day. 


	12. wholesome

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Going on a date with Cullen, she experiences what it feels like to be with a boy in her age group.

Absentminded is the only word that describes her state of mind. 

Floating through her classes, writing notes without fully absorbing them, half listening to her friends ranting about cliques and essays and volunteer work. Ellana finds her usual interests paling in comparison to her newfound interest, college. 

“Ellana, are you listening?”

“Hmm?”

Cullen reaches across the table to cup her cheek. “I just said that I’m starting my fencing training again in the Summer, so I won’t be around in Haven.” 

“I’m sorry, I’m just really distracted because your eyes are really blue.” Ellana covered effortlessly, reaching for his hand and holding it against her cheek. She watched Cullen turn a bright shade of pink before a small smile spreads shyly across his lips. His full.. pink.. lips. 

Ellana chuckled low, flashing him a grin. 

Cullen’s mabari put its head close to Ellana’s leg, letting out a sound of contentment before falling asleep. 

“Corso likes you.” Cullen remarks, reaching down to ruffle its fur, “don’t you boy? You think she’s pretty too huh.” 

Ellana moves to sit on the grass next to Corso. Her dress draped over her knees, Corso decides to shift his head to lay on her lap before drooling down her dress. She lifts her hand to reach for the picnic basket on the table for a piece of fruit. 

“Thank you for preparing this.” Ellana signalled for Cullen to join her on the grass. He settles beside her and brings the entire basket of food with him. Pouring her a glass of juice, Cullen’s eyes flicker between Ellana and Corso. 

“Of course, don’t even worry about it, I’m just glad you wanted to spend some time with me.” 

“Cullen I have to tell you something..” Ellana started, her thoughts floating towards Solas once more. 

“Of course, tell me anything.” Cullen leaned forwards his eyes earnest and concerned. 

_“I want to try something.”_ Ellana commented, looking back down at the dog splayed across her lap with its tongue drooping hap hazardously out of its mouth. 

Cullen stayed very still, waiting for Ellana to continue. 

With some fear, she reached for his hands and held them in hers. Her mind searched her feelings for signs of attraction or warmth. Nothing.. 

Cullen remained still in his place, almost as if he wanted to make sure whatever it was the Ellana tried, that she did not feel rejected. 

“I would like to kiss you. Is that okay?”

“Oh- You don’t need to ask, but thank you for asking for my consent, it’s very considerate of you.” 

Cullen’s hand reached for her chin, gently guiding her towards him before planting a small peck over the side of her lips and retreating slowly. Ellana searched her mind once more, for just a spark, any sparks at all. She remembered feeling shy in grade school, the way his hair falls across his forehead, the way his shoulders are wide and muscular. Did her taste change since then? 

“Can you do it again?” Ellana requested, shutting her eyes once more. 

Cullen leaned in closer this time, pulling her into his arms before pressing his lips over hers, brushing over them with his tongue as gently as possible. Pulling away, he cradled her in his arms, pushing a strand of errant hair behind her ears. 

The silence between them was comfortable, familiar, peaceful. He was not trying to impress her, and neither was she. All the things they had to say to each other had been said before, she knew his likes and dislikes, and he knew all of hers. 

“Why didn’t we do this earlier?” Cullen whispered, leaning to put his forehead on hers. 

“You were all up in Evelyn’s business..”

“I regret asking.” Cullen laughed, helping her back up to sitting position but not releasing her hand. 

Ellana looked away, watching the lake and the geese waddling across effortlessly. The shaded tree above swayed as the wind picked up and then mellowed down. 

“Oh and before that it was Hawke?” 

Cullen cringed, covering his face with one arm.

“Don’t remind me. I was so embarrassed that I ran away. She didn’t talk to me for the longest time.. now I’m in her bio lab class.”

“Okay I’ll stop giving you a difficult time.”

Cullen reached into the picnic basket for a dog treat, throwing it into the distance. Corso’s eyes flew open, barking madly and dashing off in its direction. Ellana watched his tail wag violently, gleefully returning after retrieving his reward. 

Ellana grew silent once more, wondering what to do with Cullen. 

Picking up on the awkwardness, Cullen moved to the basket once more, pulling out a platter of muffins. He offers one to Ellana, watching her take it and tear little pieces of it into her lips. 

“So-“

“- Are your parents home?”

“No..”

“Mia, Rosalie and Branson?”

“Mia’s on a date, Rosalie and Branson are training together because they have competition next week, so they won’t be home till late. My parents are at work.. so the house is empty.” Cullen elaborated, holding his fingers out to keep track. “Do you want to go to the house?”

“I want to try something.” 

“Does it involve something that requires.. _protection?”_

“Possibly.”

“Ah, but Ellana I want you to know that I’m not going out with you because I expect.. any.. physical relations..” Cullen smiled gently, stroking her hand reassuringly. “I’m here because I really like you. I like how smart you are, how ambitious you are, how you’re always so funny, and I want you to know that.”

Ellana sighed. Cullen was a good person, a good and wholesome friend who wants to share the joy he has with another person. 

“What if I wanted something physical to happen?” Ellana moved to straddle him, her hands landing on his shoulders. 

“I would not object, but I need you to know that you should feel no pressure at all, I promise that whether we do something or not, I still like you.” 

Ellana moved away, putting her face in her hands as the wave of shame and regret crashed over her heart. She could not do this to her friend. She could lose him entirely if she takes one wrong step. 

“Honey?” Cullen prompted, moving to embrace her form as she hid her face from him. “Are you okay?” 

“I’m okay.” Ellana replied, muffled by her arms. 

“I’m not rejecting you, I’m saying that I’m open to doing something with you, but you shouldn’t feel pressure to because everyone else does it.” Cullen puts his head on her shoulder cooing to her as she sighs. 

“Cullen, can I be open with you?”

“Always. Of course, yea, I’m here for you.” 

“Do you ever have fantasies you are ashamed of?”

“All the time, is this something you would like to try out with me? I’d be open to trying anything once, totally.” Cullen nodded, his hand resting on her back reassuringly. 

“Can you share one with me?”

“Okay, one time I had a fantasy about tied up in bed by you..” Cullen smiled as he recounted, “ and that made me late for school because I was taking care of the problem. I couldn’t look you in the eye for one whole week!”

“Wait.. you mean _last month?_ ”

“Yep.”

“Oh gosh.”

“Yep. What about you?”

_ “I think I have a thing for older guys.”  _

“And I’m a senior, makes sense.” Cullen nodded, beginning to braid her hair almost unconsciously. His fingers wove in and out of her long locks, pulling them up into a neat fishtail braid. 

“Right.. and I’ve been thinking of you too..” Ellana elaborates. 

Cullen remained silent, pulling the rubber band from her wrist and securing her finished braid properly. 

“I’ve been thinking about your hands.. and your shoulders..” Ellana lied, her mind wandering once more to that night in Solas’ office. “And how I would like to borrow them..”

“Ellana, you can have any part of me you want, whenever you want.”

“Even right now?”

“Say the words and I’ll drive you to my place and make you very very happy.” 

Ellana cocked her head to the side, biting her lip as she took note of the time. It was nearing 3pm. 

“And you wouldn’t like me any more or less if we did any of it?”

“And I wouldn’t tell anyone about it, because I know how to keep my mouth shut.” Cullen promised, holding out his pinky. 

Ellana purred, pulling him into a kiss, one that he accepted all too happily. 

“And what if it did not work out between us?”

“Then I’d be grateful you gave me a chance, and I would always love you. Relationships don’t work out because of mismatched goals, not because the person does not love the other. That will never change.”

Ellana shut her eyes, Cullen was a really good and wholesome person, one that she was about to take advantage of. 

_ “What if I took advantage of you?” _

“Take it, take all the advantage. It’s all yours.” Cullen offered once more, pulling her up and whistling to call back his dog. He removed the items he had laid out on the table and stacked them back into the basket. 

“How about this - we head over to my place, what happens or does not happen is entirely up to you, and we just renovated the house so the new pool is looking fresh, maybe we could hang out there, it’s getting quite hot out here.” 

Ellana nodded, folding the picnic blanket before grabbing a hold of Corso’s lead. 

Piling into his blue jeep, Ellana remained silent. 

“Cullen?”

“Yes babe?” Putting his shades on, he starts the car and pulls out of the parking lot. He reaches for Ellana’s hand and kisses her knuckles just as Solas did the evening before. Ellana noticed the jolt of energy she felt, unsure if it was from her thoughts or from Cullen himself. 

“You know what I mean by borrowing your fingers right?”

_ “I have a nail clipper.” _

“Ah. And you’re alright with that?”

Cullen threw her a glance. “I’ve been thinking about doing something like that with you since I saw you in a bathing suit on sports day.”

Ellana smiles, putting her hand on his thigh before snaking closer to his crotch. She feels the very tangible hardness that rests under the denim. She brushes against it once more, eliciting a groan from Cullen.

“Do you want to get there in one piece? Or do you want me to pull over?” Cullen jokes, hanging a left turn. 

“Sorry.” Ellana mumbles before retracting her hand gingerly. 

“I consent to being groped though, you have my consent if I have yours. Mia and Rosalie keep talking about verbal consent and I just want to be perfectly clear that if I’m doing something wrong, you can tell me to stop. If I’m hurting you, tell me to stop. Okay?” 

“Okay.” Ellana quietens, thinking about being in Solas’ bed the night before and the replica of his hand now sitting in her rucksack, wrapped in his night shirt. 

“Cullen?”

“Hmm?”

_ “What if I call you Daddy?” _

Cullen hits the brakes suddenly, his head swinging over to look at Ellana. Corso almost falls off the back seat, letting out a squeal and a yowl before settling back onto the seat with a thud. 

“ _Oh.. I can be that for you if you want, but only for my babygirl.”_ he drawled, pulling down his shade to wink at her in an exaggerated manner before resuming his driving. This seemed to send Ellana into a laughing fit. Corso howled along with her before going back to sleep on the back seat.

“Cullen?”

“Hmm?”

“Have you ever experienced coitus?”

“ _Experienced coitus_ \- what are you, fifty?” 

“ Shush! Have you ever?”

“I have, yes. And I can tell you it’s not as big of a deal as you think it is.”

“What makes you think I haven’t experienced it myself?”

“You just called it _Coitus_ , I’m pretty sure you’re an unspoiled innocent child.” His laughter rumbles the car as he pulls into his driveway. 

Ellana crossed her arms in feigned anger before pouting. “Okay fine, yes I’m an unspoiled innocent child.”

Cullen clicked his tongue, parking in reverse and turning the engine down. 

“Look babe, I’m not going to do anything that you don’t want me to, alright?” Cullen grins widely, pecking her on the forehead before grabbing the picnic basket from the back seat and jumping out. Ellana jumps off, landing without much grace as Corso runs over to her legs the moment he is let out of the back seat. He runs off into the house, his tag jingling on his collar. 

They make their way up to his bedroom, like they had done a thousand times before, only this time without Josephine. She settles on his bed, seeing it now in a completely different light. The pictures of the three of them in homemade frames, his trophies and awards lining the walls, his sabres in the corner of the room neatly placed, his desk in disarray and his wardrobe full of hand me downs from all his siblings. 

“Okay, I’m going to wash my hands, and I’m going to go brush my teeth, you can wait here if you’d like, or you can follow me, it’s up to you. Mia says it’s recommended to use the bathroom both before and after we begin.”

“Your sisters know what they’re talking about.”

“Oh yeah, _Mia gets around.”_ He winks before disappearing into his bathroom. Ellana follows, pulling down her undergarments before relieving herself as Cullen brushes his teeth in the mirror. They had done this before, when they were kids and everyone came over for play dates and sleepovers. She remembers laying next to Cullen in the exact same room, his mouth hanging open in a snore, and to her right Josephine who was curled up with a hundred plush toys. She was comfortable with Cullen, their trust built over the years. She could not say she loved him, but she definitely went through a phase of having a crush on him. 

Flushing and moving to wrap her arms around his chest, she lays on his back where he stood in front of the mirror gargling loudly. 

She feels his body shake as he washes his hands in a rather violent way, counting back from thirty before he rinses them and picks up a clean towel to wipe his hands. Turning around, he picks Ellana up effortlessly before placing her on his bed. 

“Cullen?”

“Yes babe?”

“I’m feeling quite nervous.”

“Relax, it’s just me. You know me. I would never hurt you.”

“No, it’s not that.. it’s just I’ve played this out in my mind before..”

“Oh? How was it like?”

“Like this! I’m in your bed, you’re next to me. You remove my dress, and you have your way with me.”

“Ellana, think of me as a tool for your pleasure.. it’s not some exchange of value. This is me showing you how much I like you by bringing you joy with my body, it’s not some barter. I expect nothing back from you at all, and if someone has made you feel that you needed to do something to exchange yourself, then they’re not a good person.” Cullen explains, pressing a kiss on her knees, just as Solas had done before. 

Ellana nods slowly, her eyes glancing at the door and noticing that Cullen had already locked it. 

_“Breathe.”_ Cullen coos, bringing her close to his chest and placing her hands on his shoulders once more. “Breathe deeply. It’s just me. _I will never hurt you. I’m right here. I want to protect you, to be there for you, and to share your time. That’s all._ ” 

Ellana almost cries, the way Cullen makes her feel important is different from Solas’ intellectual perspective, but Cullen truly validates her without all of it. 

“I’m breathing.”

“That’s good, can you tell me how you would like to be touched?” He whispers, putting his lips against her neck before pecking her once more. 

Ellana holds his hand feeling a certain peace settle over her. 

_ “I want to stay right here, like this.”  _

“We can do that, we can take a nap if you’d like, I can close the curtains.” 

“And I want you to take your shirt off.”

“Done.” Cullen pulls his white shirt over his head effortlessly, folding it onto the nearby chair before returning his arms to her form. 

“And your jeans are scratchy.”

“Well I can take those off too.” He shuffles out of his worn denim trousers before pushing them off the side of his bed. 

“Should I remove my dress?”

“You can do that if it’s more comfortable, if you want me to lend you a shirt I have plenty, if you don’t want to wear a shirt that’s also okay.” Cullen lists her options, trying to make her feel as safe as possible. 

“I want to remove my dress.” Ellana confirms, feeling Cullen’s hands search for her zip and pull it down smoothly. She shuffles out of her dress as well, feeling her skin against his. 

Silence fell once more, he tucks her under his chin and pulls the blankets over them both. 

“Cullen?”

“Hmm?”

“Can I touch.. you?” 

“Yea, sure go ahead.” 

Ellana moves closer to look into his eyes, completely blue but no icy. He smiles softly at her, pressing the tip of his nose on hers. She has never seen him this close before. His freckles, the slight scar over his brow, his golden locks. His eyelashes were even longer than hers, something she was always jealous of. 

She reaches her hand down between them, grabbing his member from over his boxers. 

“Can I take it out and play with it?”

“Go ahead,” Cullen shifted to allow her more access. 

Ellana snakes her hands into the slit in the front, pulling the warm column out from it. She sighs softly, watching her replayed childhood fantasies in her brain. 

“Do you know what to do with it?” Cullen raised an eyebrow before wrapping his hand around hers where it was on his engorged cock. 

_“I’ve read a tutorial..”_

“Alright then, let’s see what you’ve got.” Cullen mused, letting go of her hand before placing it on the side of her waist. “May I touch your waist?”

“Yes.” She whispered back leaning over to kiss him softly. It felt warm, like butter melting over bread. She tugged on him slowly, going up and down. 

“You can close your hand tighter,” he advises, “and you should go all the way up before moving back down because that’s the sensitive part.” 

“Ah, I see, like this?” 

“Mmm, now you’re getting it.”

“Do I just keep going?” She chuckles, “is that it?”

“It’s only going to go in and out in one direction no matter how you do it. Pretty much, yeah. But what you do with it after also creates variety. You can play with it, you can use your mouth, you can put it somewhere else, it’s up to you.” 

Ellana frowns, puzzled as she looks into his eyes once more. 

“Do you like how it feels in my hand?”

“Deeply. Yes, please keep going if you wish to.” Cullen answers offering his lips to her once more. 

Ellana tugs on him for several more minutes before stopping. 

“Could I borrow your fingers now?”

“Of course,” Cullen repositions her once more to lay on her back as he props himself on his side. “May I touch you?”

She nods, shutting her eyes. Images of Solas flash across her closed lids as she feels herself getting more aroused. She parts her thighs slightly, tangling her leg with Cullen’s. 

Cullen’s hands land on the front clasp of her brassiere, undoing it with ease before he places a lip over her nippled, bringing it to attention. His other hand caresses the side of her neck as she lets out a soft sigh. He continues this languid motion for several seconds before moving his hands lower, his fingertips traveling along her navel and landing on the waistband of her panties. 

He slips a hand under the waistband, landing at the apex of her legs before stopping and cupping her briefly. His lips over hers became more eager, more urgent as he lets out a soft moan. 

Cullen finds her nub with ease. Placing two fingers over it, he pulls his lips away. 

“Do you usually prefer circles, side to side or up and down?”

_ “What?” _

“How do you normally pleasure yourself?” He asks in a low tone, demonstrating with his fingers as he explained. 

“All of the above..” Ellana admits quietly before he begins his ministrations, occasionally using the lubricant she was producing to ease the process. 

“Does this feel good?”

“Yes.” Ellana pants, letting out little squeaks. He remains quiet, simply being there as she enjoyed his warm hands. Within minutes, she was wriggling against his hands and panting hard. 

“Keep going?”

“Yes, keep going, don’t change a thing,” She demands, her body writhing and arching against his. 

Cullen lets out a soft groan, attaching his lips on her shoulder, even nipping her several times. He stays in the position with obedience, practiced and calm. 

“Please.. I need something to - Ahh..” Ellana squealed, feeling him continue his rubbing with his thumb as he inserts two fingers into her wetness, allowing her to feel stretched as she convulses around him. Cullen props himself over her so he could attach his lips on her nipple for extra sensations. 

_“S- Cullen!”_ She squeals, catching herself before she exclaimed the wrong name. 

“You look gorgeous, there you go, enjoy it,” He chuckles, his fingers remaining in her as she rides out her climax. Cullen finally removes his fingers from her panties, bringing it up to her lips before he tastes it. 

“This is the part where I go use the bathroom right?”

“Yep, it’s preventative.” He pulls her up, throwing her one of his shirts as his eyes follow her to the bathroom.

Returning, Ellana notices Cullen had already gotten dressed. 

“Cuddles?” He offers, patting the bed and holding the blankets up for her. 

“Cuddle time.” She repeats after him, jumping back into his embrace. 

“Thank you.” She comments, feeling his hardness dissipate under his jeans. 

“Anytime.” Cullen pecks her over the forehead before pulling her into a spoon. “As long as you enjoyed yourself.” 

_ “What time is it?” _

“Four thirty, why?”

Ellana jumps up quickly, eyes wild. “ _Take me home._ ” She gathers her dress quickly before zipping herself up. 

“Oh, another appointment? I’ll get your bag, meet you out front.” He moves to the door quickly, grabbing Ellana’s rucksack before pecking her on the head. Ellana followed after, slipping into her kitten heels and clacking along behind him as she combs out her hair. 

The car ride home was silent, but of the comfortable variety. When they arrive at the gate of her home, Cullen leans over to press a final kiss over her forehead. 

“I really enjoyed spending time with you today Ellana.” 

“I did too.” 

“Can we do it again soon?”

“Tomorrow?”

“I’ve got fencing practice with Meredith, but I’m free after for dinner?”

“Dinner’s bad for me, Deshanna likes when I’m home at night..”

“Alright then, maybe this weekend?”

“Sure. ” Ellana opens the door quickly before jumping out.

“I’ll come pick you up tomorrow morning, same time!” Cullen yells after her, watching her run up to her gate and disappear into the door. 


	13. Identities

The house was quiet. Ellana’s eyes searched for signs that the others had returned home, but seeing that neither Deshanna’s baby blue convertible nor Solas’ sports car was anywhere to be seen, clearly they had not returned home yet. 

Making her way up to her room, she notices a voice from Solas’ room. She moves closer to investigate, pushing the slightly ajar door open. Solas was sat in front of his laptop, his desktop revealing over a dozen other webcam channels. 

“Okay, so I’ve sent out the slideshow to everyone, please review it and submit your finished findings in the portal. Any questions?”

A cracking voice emanated from his laptop, clearly from someone who does not have good wifi in their house. 

_ “Pro- s- ke - action -“ _

“Can’t hear you, try again.” Solas prompted, plugging his laptop in. 

_“Shhkka - m - “_

“Just type, type it at me.” Solas complained as the other classmates laughed. 

“What.. if.. I.. exceed.. 4k words.. Well, Cole, if you exceed it then good on you. Extra points only if you actually make sense. Talking to you, Briala. Handing in an assignment half an hour late with missing pages is not acceptable. _And no memes please.“_

Solas leans back in his chair, seemingly reading the other questions posted in the group call. 

Shutting the door softly, Ellana sneaks back to her room, undressing and pulling on a fresh dress, running to her bathroom to refresh her face with a splash of water and grabbing her hairbrush out from its holster before brushing it rather urgently. She removed her homework for the day and placed them on her desk, checking that she has everything down. 

A soft knock on the door, Ellana throws her gaze towards it. 

“Come in.” She answers, looking back at her notebook. 

“You’re home, did you enjoy hanging out with your friends?”

“Yep.” She said quietly. 

Solas approaches, pulling her back into his arms. He was much taller than Cullen, his protective embrace around her overwhelmed her senses. 

“I’m scared to ask.” He whispers softly against her head.

_“Then don’t ask.”_ Ellana replies curtly. 

“I shall stop asking.”

“Good.”

Ellana hugs him back, lacing her hands around his waist. 

“The car’s out for servicing but my afternoon class is online, so I thought I would do it from here.”

“I heard, someone has bad wifi huh.”

“Yeah, most of them do but I doubt all of them were paying attention.” 

Ellana said nothing, only feeling the sensations of his warmth and focusing on the scent of his cologne. 

“I have to finish my homework today before we can do anything.” Ellana motions at the books on her desk, laid out neatly. 

“Of course, I’ll just be in my room.” 

Ellana loosens her embrace before he does, feeling him squeeze tighter. 

“Are you upset with me?”

“No..”

“Is it because you feel rejected?” Solas guides her arms back onto his waist before pulling up the chair behind him to sit down. He places Ellana on his lap, laying her head over his shoulder in a possessive stance. 

“I just feel like I can’t have what I want because you won’t let me, it’s very frustrating.”

“Did Cullen give you what you wanted?”

“That’s not the point, _he wouldn’t have to if you did.”_ Ellana retorted coldly. She felt Solas’ fingers almost turn into claws on her skin, his arms tightening around her. He remained silent, gulping loudly. 

“I just don’t feel like you want me as much as I want you.” Ellana admits quietly, her shoulders drooping as she looks away from him.

“Do not ever say such a thing.” Solas hushed, pressing a kiss over her forehead in the same position that Cullen did just that afternoon. _“ I want you more than I can quantify. I want to spoil you, to guide you, and to give you all my love.”_

Ellana felt like that sounded familiar, although somewhat distant now that she has experienced being with someone like Cullen. 

“You did not text even once when I was out.”

“I was having class, my darling, and I did not want to keep checking in on you because that’s a sign of an unhealthy relationship even though popular media wants you to think that obsession is a symptom of love.”

Ellana considered it for a moment before accepting it as a viable and reasonable answer. 

“I don’t want to start anything physical because I think I still need to get to know you a lot better, physical connections only get you so far. You need to know if your partner can communicate, solve problems, and compromise.” Solas went on, “ you don’t know enough about me yet to be able to make that decision for yourself, that takes time. It’s easier with someone like Cullen because you see him every day and you’ve known him a lot longer than you’ve known me.”

Ellana said nothing, instead she shut her eyes as she laced her fingers with his. 

“I promise when the time is right, you can have all of me. Not that you don’t already have all of me.” Solas finished, rocking her gently in his arms. 

“Do I have all of you?” 

_ “Yes, you do. All of me.” _

“Tell me a secret.”

“A secret? Alright. Secretly I look forward to you knocking on my door every evening. I look forward to bringing you back to your room, I look forward to receiving your pictures and notes and texts even if I don’t reply to all of them. I secretly want to rub your calves when you’re tired, to buy you every piece of clothing you like, to finish all your homework for you so you have more time to spend with me, to give you all the books in the world.” 

Ellana grinned. 

“So would you be upset with me if something did happen with Cullen and I?”

“No. I would not deny you of experiences you need growing up, but I must admit that I’m fiercely jealous and possessive of you. I understand this is a ruse you need to keep up if you want us to continue our relationship, but I am also feeling helpless, frustrated and extremely affectionate towards you. Knowing that what he can do for you, I can do so much better, it upsets me to know that you don’t have the best of everything.” 

“Cullen and I… we.. his hands..” 

_ “Did he touch your princess parts?” _

“Yes, he did. And I enjoyed it.”

“Even after I made you a resin cast of my hand?”

“It doesn’t move by itself.. like the real thing.. which you refuse to offer..” 

Solas pursed his lips, letting out a growl deep within his throat and chest as he held onto her tightly. 

“It’s fine, you don’t belong to me.. did he hurt you?”

“He’s actually quite polite about it,” Ellana revealed, “He asked for permission and he did not do anything that made me feel uncomfortable.”

“If he does, I’ll reach down his throat and pull his testicles out and then hammer it to his face.” 

“Solas! So unnecessarily violent, goodness.”

“ _Oh is it? Is it unnecessarily violent?_ Or am I just exercising my rights as your protector?” 

Ellana liked this side of him. Feral, dangerous, eyes darkened with jealousy. It made her feel desired. 

“Homework time.” 

“Would you like me to leave or do you want to sit on my lap?” 

_ “Lap.”  _

Ellana looked at the open door, hopping off to shut it and lock it. 

“Let’s see about that self control of yours.” She laughed, her voice tinkling like crystals. Sitting in her chair, Solas rotates to look at her. Ellana pulls off the shoulder straps of her dress, pulling it down to reveal her bare breasts and leaving the rest of the dress hanging around her waist. Solas’ eyes widen, watching her settle back on his lap. 

_ “Ellana.. please..” _

“Please what? What happened to ‘ _you don’t belong to me’_?”

“Ungh.. You know what you’re doing.” 

“I do.” Ellana laughs, pulling out the first piece of assignment which was a science mock test paper. She flips it open to the first page, completing the multiple choice questions with ease. Solas leans over her neck, pressing a kiss over her vertebrae. He positions his arms around her waist, trying desperately not to go higher. 

“What’s the matter?”

“Nothing, the faster you complete the paper the faster I get to have you all to myself.” 

“You know what you should make a resin cast of?” Ellana chirps, flipping to the second section quickly. 

“I have a feeling I know.” 

“Why haven’t you already?”

“Because!” Solas exclaims, noticing the small bruises over her neck and shoulders, _“What are these?”_

“Cullen.”

Solas growls louder, replacing them with his own lips, suckling harder and leaving a larger print over her already bruised skin. 

“ _Mine. All mine. I hate sharing._ I lied about not being bothered, I’m actually very bothered by this.” 

“You don’t have to, if you let me have what I want.” 

Solas whimpers. “Yes but what you want is illegal as heck.” 

“Is it more illegal than what we’ve already done?”

“Yes! Ellana it is!” Solas replies in a raised tone. 

“Then leave. The door is right there.” Ellana challenges once more. 

Solas glances at the door before his lips landed back on her shoulder. “No. I don’t want to leave.”

Putting her pen down, Ellana looks back at him. 

“Alright, let’s negotiate.” She moves to sit on her desk, pulling him closer with her legs. 

“Alright, lets do that.”

“I want your hands. If I have them, then I won’t need Cullen’s hands.”

Solas winces, looking away almost as if to choke back his pain. 

“You have my hand.”

“The real one.”

“Argh! Fine. I’d honestly prefer if I was the one to pleasure you. I bet he doesn’t even know what he’s doing..” Solas rolls his eyes, holding her hands. 

“He actually does, because he asked me to direct him.” Ellana pressed, watching Solas get more and more jealous. 

“You can direct me too, and I have actual experience. From now on, you can tell me how to please you.”

“I want your lips.”

“Already have those. Done deal.”

_“I want to play with your..”_

“Ellana, my love.. as much as I want that as well, _that’s the very illegal bit.”_

“Alright, no penetration. Just hands.”

Solas considered for one painful moment before opening and closing his mouth again. His eyes darts back to hers. 

“And you’ll never tell anyone.” Solas cocked his eyebrow. 

“Never.” Ellana grinned, shaking her bare breasts in his face and watching them bounce slightly. 

He shuts his eyes before smiling sadly. “Goodness you’re killing me. Slowly. Painfully. So utterly enjoyably. Alright. Hands are allowed, no penetration.” 

“I get to tell you what to do.”

“You already do that, next item.”

“I want you to put your mouth on my princess parts.” Ellana went on to admit. 

“My love..” Solas purrs, pulling her closer and pecking her over her sternum. “I would love nothing more than to do that, however that crosses into the _really really extremely no turning back_ territory. I’d probably lose every bit of control I have at that point.”

“That’s the point. Realise that I get to control you, and that you really don’t have much control over yourself.” 

Solas chuckled sadly, his face close to her pert nipples. She presses her left nipple on his lip, watching him take it into his mouth eagerly and gently, tugging and suckling on it before moving to the other side. He lets out a laboured groan, a slight growl escaping his chest before he pulled back. 

“I’m starting to see the situation I’m in, yes. That’s where I draw the line, little lady.” 

Solas pulls her dress back onto her shoulders, pecking her on the forehead before standing up. 

“Finish your homework, if I stay.. who knows what might happen? I’ll just be next door. I thought we could do the barbecue place from last week for dinner? What do you think?” 

“Sounds good. I’ll come find you when I’m done.”

“Did the report go well?”

“Oh, yeah I printed it on time it’s all good now.”

“Good.”

“Solas?”

“Yes my love?” 

“Can we go shopping?”

Solas’ face lit up, leaning by the doorframe of her room with his hand on the knob, he winks. “That.. I can do. I still owe you some lace underthings I recall..” 

“And shoes. And dresses. And handbags.” Ellana added.

“I have no problem spending my money on you. None at all, that’s actually something I’m very good at doing.” 

Ellana’s phone beeped just then. Reaching for it from her desk, she notices the news app she subscribes to light up with the following headline:

_** Elusive Street Artist Fen’Harel Strikes again! Latest painting on side wall of Fortnum Gallery of a gigantic wolf devouring bankers. Click to read. ** _

Ellana raised her eyebrow, putting the phone down. 

“What is it?”

“Oh it’s just that.. you know the guy who does the graffiti and murals but no one has ever caught him or seen him? And he does these political pieces? I think he just did a thing down at Fortnum Gallery.. it’s all over the news..” 

“Hmm,” Solas raises his eyebrows, “What do you think about his works?”

“Oh, we don’t know if it’s a he or she. I think it’s kind of cool how he never gets caught, and for what its worth I think that his style is quite contemporary, and the fact that he combines it with social messaging is kind of genius because anonymity is becoming a commodity in an increasingly surveilled society.”

Solas nodded, raising his eyebrows in surprise this time. _“Do you ever wonder who he is?”_

“Well yes, it could be someone I know, it could be Josie, either way he sold that painting that one time that set itself on fire right after the guy paid for it? Hilarious! I bet he’s got like a whole team who sells his art and stuff. It’s kind of cool.” 

Solas smiles, retreating out of her room. “I’ll see you in two hours.”

“One and a half. I’m pretty fast, I’m motivated to try out our new arrangement.” 

“I wait for you eagerly on the other side of this wall.” 

The door clicks shut behind him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gasp! Is Solas Banksy?


	14. Leek and potatoes

The soup was boiling over the pot, browning the edges of the porcelain coated cookware. The spatula made lines in the thick, pale chowder, indicating that it had been reduced to the correct level. Solas brought it to his lip, sampling it before yet another cup of water is added and the lid of the pot is replaced. 

The chives are finely chopped, the cheese is grated, the table is laid. 

Moments later, Solas checks the boiling soup once more. Leek and potatoes is the easiest thing in the world to whip up. 

The key in the door turns, followed by the clack clack of Deshanna’s work shoes. Shaking her umbrella, she opens it in the corner to allow it to dry. 

“Solas! You’re home early!”

“I had a virtual class today, figured I’d make some dinner since we had missed dinner the other evening. Leek and potato soup is in the pot, simmering. I’m doing herb crusted salmon which is in the oven currently, and there’s also chocolate pudding currently cooling in the fridge.” Solas smiles warmly, wiping his damp hands on the towel nearby. 

“Ah! Thank you, it’s nice to have a home cooked meal once in a while, we’re going to miss this when you find a new apartment.” Deshanna commented as she walks past the kitchen towards her room. “I’ll be right out, I’m just going to take a quick shower and I’ll come help.”

“Take your time!”

Ellana descends the stairs, her white dress flowing and loose around her form.

“Something smells good, I thought we were going out-“

“Deshanna just came home, I’m not sure if I cooked enough..” Solas cut her off just as she was about to finish her sentence. 

Ellana froze in her step before heading back in the direction she came from. 

“I’m going to wear a different dress..” 

Deshanna returns, now wearing something more casual than the blazer pantsuit combination she favours usually. 

“Okay, what can I help with?”

“Not much actually, I was about to be done. I’m just going to whip up this salad really quick and I guess we can serve.” Solas’ knife slid through the tomatoes easily, tossing them into a transparent bowl before the lettuce and olives followed. 

“I didn’t know you could cook,” Deshanna raised her eyebrow as she sat near the kitchen counter.

“Ah. Well, I’m a picky eater, which means I often have to feed myself when my standards are not met.” 

“Hmm, Ellana’s a picky eater too. Most impossible child to feed ever. Astra ate everything! Even things she wasn’t supposed to.. one time she ate a grasshopper on a dare!” 

Solas smiled, his eyes darting to Ellana who was descending the stairs in a far more appropriate dress. 

“Ellana! Solas is cooking dinner tonight, isn’t that exciting?” Deshanna patted the seat next to her. 

“Yes I noticed, thank you for cooking dinner.” Ellana replied, keeping her tone even. 

“What’s everyone been up to?” Deshanna propped her head on her chin before turning to Ellana with her glass of wine. 

“Well, I have debate tournament next week, so I’m going to be staying late to practice with Sera.” 

“Fun.. Sera’s that girl that curses a lot right?”

“Yep that’s her.”

“Mmmhmm… and did Josie make it to the dance team?”

“She’s gone for tryouts but she has yet to get a call. She doesn’t think it’s happening, but I guess it’s too early to tell.” 

“Ah. Well she’s very pretty I’m sure she will get in. What about Cullen?”

“Fencing competition. Also I have something to tell you about him.. and I…”

“You’re dating Cullen?” Deshanna gasped.

“What! I.. yes.”

Solas threw her a look she could not decipher before he floated towards the stove to check on the pot. 

“I always knew you were going to end up dating that boy. Goodness, you used to follow him around like a puppy!” 

“Yeah, well I thought Josie was prettier than me so I never actually went ahead.” 

“Nonsense. You’re both equally pretty.” Deshanna encouraged. “Listen, you go ahead and like whoever you want okay? I’ll always support you.”

“But he’s older than me.”

“Not by that much.. I mean if he’s older than you by twice minus seven years then I might be skeptical, but hey even then I don’t think it’s so bad. I mean, you don’t have to decide right now. Even if it does not go well with Cullen I’m sure some other boy.. or girl will like you in the future. You might even decide not to be with anyone at all, or that you’re with someone but it’s not serious.” Deshanna elaborated. 

Ellana nodded, taking in the information.

Solas turns around, fetching the bowls already set out, and then returning with them after he ladled the soup into them. 

“Chives and cheese for those who feel like it.” He offers a small dish on the side. 

The salmon comes out from the oven too, plated beautifully and using the rule of thirds. 

“Thank you for this wonderful meal.” Deshanna grins, pulling the chair out for him as he approaches with the final plate of salmon. 

Solas only nods. Ellana remained silent as well. 

“So, we were talking about house hunting just before you joined us Ellana, have you found any promising apartments?”

Solas looked up, his gaze meeting Deshanna’s. 

“I have a few leads, nothing solid yet. They’re all close to campus so I don’t have to drive an hour to get to school. It’s very different here, I guess I’m still trying to get used to it all.” 

“Well, you can stay as long as you’d like, if it means we continue to get these home cooked meals, I’m happy and Ellana’s happy.” Deshanna grinned, burning her lip on the hot soup before reaching for her wine. 

“I had no idea you were house hunting.” Ellana said sharply, her eyes unblinking as she kicked him under the table. 

“I did not want to inconvenience Deshanna any longer than I need to.” Solas replies, his tone even and his smile vague. 

“Do you need some help?”

“No, I got it.” Solas answers, his eyes low. “Did you ever solve the conflict with your co-author?”

“Ah, yes turns out it was a misunderstanding so it’s all good now and the launch is going to proceed as per normal.” Deshanna shut her eyes briefly. “Oh goodness all this drama is draining my will to keep writing!”

“When’s the scheduled launch?” Ellana picked a piece of bone out of her salmon, leaving it on the side of her plate before reaching for her water. 

“It’s in a couple months, although we’re already starting preorders beforehand to drum up some attention from the press.”

“I hope it goes well, I’m sure it will. You’ve done this before.” Solas comments, cutting up his food into little pieces and organising them before he consumes them. 

Deshanna refills her wine glass as well as Solas’, reaching for the pepper mill. 

“I mean it’s different every time. Sometimes it goes good, sometimes there’s problems, we just have to be prepared. So! Ellana, when is Cullen coming to join us for dinner? Now that you’re dating him maybe I’d like to have a few words with him and his parents?”

“Please no.”

“Young lady I’m going to gently remind him that if he ever dares to break your heart, he will be banned from all my future book signings and drops and he’s never to come around again.” Deshanna jests, punching her in the arm. 

“Goodness.” Ellana breathes, finished her soup quickly. 

“Seconds?” 

“No thank you, I’m quite full and I’ve got quite a lot of homework left to do.”

Deshanna grabs her wrist just as she was about to stand. “Honey there’s still dessert!”

Ellana detangles herself, proceeding to the fridge to grab the freshly chilled cups of pudding before reaching for a spoon. 

“I’ll eat in my room.” She remarks, bouncing back up the stairs. 

Deshanna turns to Solas, rolling her eyes. “Young people these days, always so eager to be isolated and yet connected to their peers. I might write about that next. Two people enter the wrong conference call and falls in love, except they are in the wrong conference call room, and realise they live close to one another. Eventually they realise when they are in the same room together, they have nothing to say to one another. Thoughts?”

“Very good, Deshanna, I’d read that.” Solas comments quietly, wolfing down his meal as well before clearing his plates and the ones Ellana left on the table. 

“You guys all eat so fast!” Deshanna exclaimed, struggling to finish the remainder of her meal.

“Well you were explaining things so naturally we got to eat whilst you were speaking.” Solas smiles, rinsing the plates out. 

“Oh no leave them. I’ll get to them when I’m done.” Just then her phone buzzes loudly and vibrates the dining table. “Hello?”

She covers the phone momentarily, turning to Solas and mouthing the words “I have to take this, dinner was awesome!” 

Solas nods, drying his hands once more before he retrieves his phone and returns to his room. 


	15. time of day

The room was empty once more. 

All the fixtures, rich fabrics, as though nothing ever happened. The room was back to the way it was before. Ellana stood in the middle of the large empty room, the windows slightly open and swaying with the autumn wind. Everything happened so quickly, just several days ago he was talking about finding an apartment. Ellana thought they would have longer, although Solas seemed to be withdrawing from her as the week went by. They never went on that shopping trip he offered as Ellana was too busy ignoring him and his texts over the next few days. 

As she returned to her room, she receives a text hoping it was from Solas explaining his dissapearance. Eagerly, she flips through her notifications. 

** C.Rhubarbford **

3.30PM 

Leliana’s joining for Josie’s birthday dinner, pick you up in an hour? We need to go get the cake. Love you.

** YOU **

3.30PM

Sure, love you too. 

Ellana shuts her eyes, slightly relieved that she hedged her bets with Cullen. 

The doorbell rang, loud and obnoxious, disturbing her train of thought. Running down the stairs rather carelessly, Ellana whips the door open wondering whether the charcoal she ordered online had arrived or if it was a parcel for Deshanna instead. 

The delivery man in his blue uniform stood at the door with a disinterested look. 

“Lavellan, Ellana. Parcel for you.” He mumbled, flipping through the stack of envelopes in his hand for one that was the size of his palm. 

Ellana frowned, wondering why the company had not added protective packaging to her delicate charcoals. “Thanks..” She replied, signing the receipt before shutting the door behind her and returning to her room.

The shape of the parcel did not resemble her charcoals, it rattled like metal. 

Opening the envelope with some reservations, Ellana pulls out a white access card and a key attached to it. A note was tucked neatly within the envelope as well, the paper was green. She extracts the note, placing it on her bed as she read it. 

—

**_ 17 Delta Drive  _ **

**_ Skyhold Campus 2  _ **

**_ Skyhold University of Arts and Social Sciences _ **

**_ 14373 _ **

_ You know where to find me.  _

_ S _

—

Not even a goodbye, and now this? She was not going to give him the time of day. 

Ellana rolled her eyes, tucking its contents back into the envelope before tossing it in one of her drawers. 


	16. sudden

There it was, the padded envelope which would inform Ellana Lavellan which of the universities she applied for accepted her. Her options ranged from Nevarra Royal College of Arts to the more exotic Imperium Academy of Design and Technology. Skyhold University was one of the best, but she had avoided applying to it since Solas had moved out two years ago. 

She knew this was just one of many applications she would either be accepted or rejected from, however, with the current circumstances of Deshanna’s publishing deals, it had to be a university she could qualify for scholarship so that the tuition was more manageable. The letter weighed heavy. Cullen had already gotten all of his letters back, all of which accepted him on his fencing merits. Josephine’s parents were wealthy and managed to get her into Skyhold University’s prestigious Political Science/Foreign Affairs double major. Leliana remains undecided, opting to take a gap year instead, although secretly everyone in the clique suspected she had already been hired by the government for some training program. 

She decided to wait for more letters to arrive before she opened this one. 

Several days pass, the letterbox contained the usual. Deshanna’s bank statements, newsletters, occasional ads from nearby small businesses, one time she even found a robin egg, but no letter for her. Defeated, she returns to that padded envelope. 

Tearing it open, she pulls out yet another small envelope with the Skyhold University emblem on the top left corner. Excavating into this smaller envelope, Ellana extracts the letter. 

—

_ Dear Ellana Lavellan,  _

_ I am delighted to inform you that the Committee on Admissions and Financial Aid has elected to offer you a full scholarship to a range of our Arts Programmes in the Arts and Social Sciences Department. We acknowledge that you have been accepted into various other prestigious universities such as NRCA and IADT, and would much prefer to go there, but we would like to remind you that our Faculty has recently acquired a plethora of cutting edge equipment as well as renovated its premises.  _

_ Additionally, as we have been informed by one of our Professors of your ambition to someday join the Designer’s Guild, Skyhold University presents you with a unique position to socialise with current and past members of the Guild.  _

_ We sincerely hope you consider our invitation to join the Skyhold family, and we look forward to hearing from you soon.  _

_ Head of Admissions and Talents  _

_ Vivienne de Fer.  _

_ Skyhold University Admissions Team  _

—

The perfumed paper tucked back into the envelope, Ellana considered carefully. None of her colleges have written back yet, suddenly a college she did not apply to has extended a full scholarship, and she’s relatively certain she would ace all of Solas’ classes if she chose to attend them. 

Looking for that envelope she forgot two years ago, Ellana dug it out from between two cabinets. The address burned almost into her memory, she sighed. With curiosity, Ellana checked up bus routes to the Campus. All of them took at least 2 and a half hours. The other option was to get Cullen to drive her. Of course that would mean explaining what she was doing at a school she had not applied for and she was not prepared for that level of intimacy yet. 

Checking her watch, she estimated that she would arrive roughly around lunch if she headed out now. Ellana grabs her purse off the table where she left it the evening before, checked the charge on her devices to ensure they were at least 85%, and plugged her headphones in. After taking a screenshot of her route, she proceeds to head to the nearest bus station. 


	17. the house with the painting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ellana sneaks into Solas' house.

The house was unlike any she has seen before. She recognised it instantly the moment she arrived on the correct street. Tucking the piece of paper back into her bag, Ellana approached the complex. 

The gates were large and imposing, at the edge of the street in the most obscured location. Infact, even the campus directory was quite vague on where exactly the house was located. She actually had to walk a good ten minutes through the hills behind the last house on that street before she spotted the well hidden house which was the 17th house. 

Her keycard beeped automatically upon contact, opening the side gate for her to enter. However imposing the gate was, the building itself was entirely different. The garage door was hidden with a wall of flowers, the path leading up to the house cut right across the swimming pool, almost as if you were walking through the pool itself with its blue tiles. The front of the building was made of glass, revealing the various trees which seemed to grow right through the house itself. On the second floor, there was a large easel by the window and a chair with various brushes staining the seat itself. 

Ellana approached the black wooden doors, walking up the small steps. With hesitation, she slot the key into the door. 

The well lubricated hinges of the door gave way instantly, soundlessly. The floor of marble, the ceiling to floor glass windows let all the light into the house giving it a feeling of freedom. To the far side of the wall, a full length mirror. Fireplace with ornamental gold leaves and flowers and vines, a large green velvet armchair and matching couch. Above the mantel, a painting. 

It was her. 

Ellana stood rooted to the ground, she had never seen such a huge painting of herself before.She looked as she does now in the painting, except her hair was longer and she was in a dark green gown as she sat enthroned on an armchair decorated with precious gems. A gasp left her throat as she spun around at the sound of a bell. A black cat scampers off from where it hit into one of the other rooms. 

She took off her shoes, placing them in her bag so as to enable maximum stealth. The living room and foyer was connected to various other rooms. As far as her exploration informed it, there was a kitchen, a gym, a pallet swing with several heavy blankets on it, and towards the far corner of the first floor some sort of flower shed for tools and gardening supplies. She notices a staircase leading upstairs from the side of the living room. Making her way upstairs quietly, Ellana examines the room layout. It reminded her of one of the museums she had been to as a child. The ceiling was open concept and let the sunlight in, warming the Marble floors easily. 

On the second floor was yet another flight of stairs, possibly leading to the third floor, and various guest bedrooms, the open room with the easel in it. A single room in the same corner as the garden shed had its doors shut. Ellana peeped under it, hearing the sound of typing. Her blood ran cold, realising she was not alone in the house. Quickly darting to the third floor,it was just a single master bedroom with a huge four poster bed in it, desks and the most decked out bathroom she had ever seen with a sunken in bathtub and some sort of basket with various unopened bath bombs in it. The wardrobe spanned almost the entire length of the room. One door was labeled S, the other was unlabelled. Opening the door with the “S” painted on it, Ellana once again found herself snooping through his beautiful suits and fabrics, his scent thick on his clothes. 

The other unlabelled closet was not empty, but it was half filled with several garment bags, completely new and unopened, but it seemed to be womens’ dresses.. and in her dress size. The floor of the closet was lined with unopened shoe boxes. Applying what she knew of Solas’ habits, he never returned to the bedroom until he had to rest, or shower, which meant it was unlikely he would enter this room. She bit the corner of her lower lip, slipping her bare feet into a pair of beautiful patent leather Mary Jane heels, admiring them as the clasp went over her ankles. A heavy white tag in the shape of a flower fell out as she was wearing it. She reached over to pick it up, her heart beating faster as she notices the price. $3,400. He was never shy about spending money. 

And that bed…

Ellana ran towards it, jumping and landing squarely in the middle, messing up the sheets as she takes in the scent. Warm, soft, silky. She let out an involuntary squeal, silencing herself once she realises she had possibly messed up. Footsteps resonated in the corridor where she had come in. 

“Oh crap..” She hissed, grabbing her bag and regretting putting on the pair of heels. She kicked the shoe box back into the closet, shutting it as quietly as she could before dashing to hide under the bed. All she could see was his shoes as he walks in, pausing at the door. 

The clicking of his black velvet shoes approached the bed, stopping once more as he let out a sigh at the state of the bed. Ellana observes him move to sit on the bed, his shoes merely inches from her face where she hid under the bed. She hears his phone unlock with a click as he seemed to be texting. The sound of the message sending echoed in the silent room. 

Moments later, she felt her own pocket vibrate. She panicked, covering it with her jacket as she tried to dull its sound. Ellana notices him taking his shoes off as he moves to lay on his side of the bed. 

Still frozen, Ellana held her breath. She reached for her phone, secretly glad she had turned it to silent before entering the house. 

** S **

12.30pm

Come out. 

** YOU **

12.30pm

No. 

** YOU **

12.30pm

I mean.. what? 

Ellana heard a chuckle from above her as he shifted his weight. 

** S **

12.31pm

Are you stuck under the bed?

** YOU **

12.31pm

No I’m at home why?

** S **

12.31pm

Of course, you have the key, this is naturally your sanctuary as well. As you might have discovered, the bed is infinitely more comfortable. Perhaps you should join me? 

Ellana sighed, rolling her eyes as she scooted out from under the bed as she stood before him wordlessly. 

Solas looked back at his phone after glancing at her. 

** S **

12.32pm

Hello, my beloved.

“Hi.” Ellana gulped, her fists clenched as she backed away from him slightly. 

“So your appl-“ He started, scratching the back of his neck. 

“Shut up.” Ellana cut him off, dropping her bag on the floor as she approached him with some rage building in her throat. 

Solas pulled his hands up above his head, lowering his eyes as he remained silent. His brows were twisted painfully as he pursed his lips. 

“Shirt. Off.” 

Solas did as he was asked, removing his waistcoat and shirt, left only in his matching trousers as he sat on the edge of the bed. 

“Ellana..”

“Did I say you could speak?” Ellana chirped, pulling a chair from his dressing table closer to the bed where he sat. 

“No, I’m sorry.”

“Again.”

“I’m sorry..” He whispered once more. 

Ellana placed herself on the chair, legs crossed as she leaned down to look at him. 

“For?”

“Everything.”

Ellana felt her heart race, she still had the same type of sway over him as she did two years ago, except now she knows how to properly command him. Practicing on Cullen helped, Cullen was very obedient. She recalled the nights she had her way with him, leaving various red marks and scars all over him, ones he wore proudly for her. Cullen made her feel all sorts of special, but Solas.. Solas made her feel like a queen. His Queen. 

Her mind tried to push the thought of Cullen out of her mind, contemplating the various ways this meeting would go. 

Solas slid from the bed to kneel before her, his head hung low as he crawled towards her. 

_“You never took me shopping.”_ Ellana whispered more timidly. 

“I’ll take you shopping right now. Tell me what you want and I’ll give it to you. Anything. As many as you want. ” Solas promised eagerly as he looked up with earnest eyes. 

_“Down.”_ Ellana hissed, pressing his shoulder down to the floor with her heel digging into his skin. 

Solas shut his eyes, intoxicated as he let out a laboured groan. 

“What are your appointments for today?” Ellana questioned, pulling her bag closer to her as she scrolled through her phone to read the texts she had missed. 

_“I’ll clear them.”_ Solas promised all too quickly, looking back up again as he tried to come closer to her. 

“That’s alright, I’m leaving soon anyways.” 

“Please, don’t leave.” Solas exclaimed breathlessly, grabbed her ankles all too roughly as he pressed his lips over them, trailing up to her knees. _“Please never leave.”_

She pushed his fingers off her ankles with the heel of her new shoes, pressing his palms on the floor under her soles. “No touching. _You never wanted to touch me._ You don’t get to start now.” 

Solas’ head raised slowly as he pulled his palms painfully out from under her heels. He grabs her by the waist, raising her above him and throwing her on the bed roughly. 

_“That’s a lie.”_ Solas growled, his form over hers, barely hovering so as to not put all his weight over her. All Ellana could do was stare up at him, his lips so dangerously close to hers. _“And you know it’s a lie.”_ He whispered, his lips grazing hers ever so slightly. 

_“I feel nothing.”_ She gulped, looking away fighting tears. Tears of joy? Of anger? She could not tell the difference. All she was aware of was how familiar this felt, how safe she felt despite being just thrown onto the bed in a house three good hours away from anyone who could come and save her if something bad happened to her. 

_“Another lie, my love. ”_ He whispers, pressing a kiss over her lips urgently as he moaned, pulling her closer as he rolled her over so she was straddling him. 

“What’s the truth?” Ellana challenged, digging her fingers into his chest as she purred into his lips. Moving back, she landed a firm slap across his cheek, watching him groan and his cheek turn pink from her slap. 

“The truth?” He replied between breaths, “ I fell in love with someone I shouldn’t have.” 

“And who would that be?”

“I’m looking at her.” Solas replies, his eyes glistening, his lips turned into a soft dazed smile. “ The glorious creature I seek to serve, to please, and to love.” 

Ellana slapped him once more, choking back her tears. 

“You can slap me around as much as you want now. Go ahead.” He offered, placing her palm back on his face. “Please, I want to make you happy.” 

Ellana took the chance to slap him once more in the other cheek, turning his head and causing her palm to tingle with pain. Grabbing his chin with a clawed hand, she pulls close to her. 

“What did you do to my other applications?” Ellana screamed, slapping him once more across his face as she straddled him. Solas did not fight back, instead pulling her palms up to kiss them over and over as she cried. 

“It’s going to hurt your palms if you keep doing that, I suggest you let me fetch a ruler. It will hurt more.” Solas suggested, kissing both her palms with his eyes pressed shut, a tear falling from his moistened lashes. Ellana crashed upon his chest crying, holding onto his neck tightly. 

“Shhh…” he cooed, wrapping his arms fully around her. “I didn’t do anything to your applications, I just asked Vivienne to write you a letter..”

“So I really didn’t get into any of the schools I wanted? My work is ” Ellana cried even louder, contemplating the idea that her portfolio was really sub par. 

“Darling, part of the application process is proving that you can actually afford the tuition.. And with Deshanna’s current situation and the school's background check.. I can’t blame them for not choosing you over other applicants.. I’ve spoken to the other professors. Everyone thinks your work is amazing.” 

_“Then why?”_ Ellana cried out painfully, wiping her tears on the blankets now covering the both of them. “How? I didn’t even apply here..” 

“I got a copy of what you sent to Nevarra, and showed it to the department.”

“And?”

“And they liked it..” 

_ “What are you not telling me?” _

_“Your tuition is coming out of my salary.”_ Solas answered softly, rubbing her back gently. “I was going to offer to support whichever University you wanted to attend, however Deshanna called me last week and asked if we could get you to be closer to home since her other child is already so far away. She couldn’t bear to be too far from you..” 

“So you spoke with Deshanna behind my back and you couldn’t even text me?”

“Ellana.. I had to show we had no recent ties if I were ever to pull strings to get you into the school. It was a strategic move. I’ve never stopped thinking about you. Hell, I spent a year and a half painting a huge portrait of you over the mantle.” Solas continued, pressing his lips over her forehead gently as she sobbed into his chest. 

Ellana remained still, noticing the heat of his skin over her body and the slow rhythm of his heart beating in his chest. Her sobbing slowly fades into silence as she shut her eyes tight. The bracelet Cullen gave her heavy on her wrist, she pulls it off and places it on the table by the bed. 

“Now you have all the time in the world to make me feel the pain I’ve made you feel.” Solas offered softly, letting out a small sigh of contentment as she settles into his embrace more naturally. 

“And I’m going to have to live on campus?” 

“If you wish. If not, I can send a car to pick you up every morning.” 

“And I have to live in a dorm on campus?”

“I would prefer if you were closer to me, but of course that is not my choice to make. I would be happy to provide a penthouse suite for you if you chose to live in student housing, or at least rent out the room next to yours so you could enjoy some space for an art studio.” 

Ellana gulped, considering the implications of this arrangement. 

“Do I get to keep the shoes?” Ellana whispered under her breath. 

Solas grinned wide, bringing her lips up to his own. 

“You get all the shoes. And more. You get anything you want from now on. _I can’t wait to spoil you. I can't wait to make you quiver with sheer pleasure._ ” 

“And does this come with strings attached?”

“They’re attached as long as you want them to be. And to any body part of mine that you want. I will never expect anything of you, you don't owe me anything. Tell me to stop and I will. Your mere presence in my classroom or even within my vicinity already makes me feel happiness to no ends. If it pleases you that I stop, I’ll do as you ask. Always.” He promises once more, eagerly as he weaves his fingers with hers. 

“What if I’m still with Cullen?” 

Solas lets out a growl. 

“Does he please you?”

“Yes, yes he does. He’s never ignored my text for over two years. He’s very good with his hands.”

Solas grimaced, nibbling her neck possessively. “Do as you wish. I cannot hope to deserve all of you, I can only take what you wish to give me with gratitude.” He hisses between clenched teeth, his legs snaking around hers. 

“So you’re saying I can have both at the same time?”

“It is not my preference, but I don’t wish to restrict or constrain your happiness. If he brings you happiness, it is his utter undeserved blessing.” Solas continues, pressing her even tighter to his form. 

"Does it hurt you that I'm with Cullen?"

"Yes, if you enjoy watching my pain, I encourage you to continue your relationship with him. I will not do anything to endanger that, or reveal anything to him." 

“And I get all the A’s in your classes?”

Solas nods into her hair. “Not that it’s difficult, you are exceptional already. Perhaps I might provide guidance, but I’d be persuaded to extra credit assignments and being generous with your deadlines yes.” 

Ellana clung onto him as he said that, her mind floating to teasing him relentlessly during lectures. 

_ “Do I get to stay over?” _

“Of course, if you do not wish for me to be in the room, _I can relocate to the guest bedroom, I can sleep on the floor by your feet, as long as you are comfortable._ ” 

“What if I want you in the bed also?”

“This is no longer a problem as you have gained the nineteenth notch in your candle.”

“You’ve been keeping track.” Ellana smiles. 

“Yes, you have no idea how much I want to just send you all the presents on your birthday. Instead I’ve resolved to purchasing them and keeping them in a closet.” 

“You’ve never told me how old you are.” Ellana commented, pulling back to look at him. 

“You’ve never asked.” 

“I see. I’m not asking now, I’m just saying I don’t know when your birthday is.”

“It’s not important. I don’t celebrate. I only want to celebrate you. Your happiness is the most important thing to me now.” Solas added, pulling her close as he examines the clock by the bedside table and the bracelet next to it. 

“You must be starving, please, let me feed you.” Solas offered, sitting up and settling her into the center of the bed. “Please tell me what would make you happy, and I’ll bring it to you, bed picnic style.” 

Ellana’s eyes darkened with a sudden feeling of lust, pulling him up by the neck. 

“Before that, I want something else first.” 

Ellana grinned, unbuttoning the front of her dress and exposing her muscular core and legs. Solas watched in silence, his eyes simply following her hands. 

_ “You made me a promise once.” _

_ “I remember.” _

“Then you know what I want.” 

“My beloved, for that I will require more preparation. Fresh sheets, flowers, candles, ice cream, petals in the bathtub, it’s an entire occasion. Taking you on a whim would be completely inappropriate and disrespectful. Especially now that you are fuelled by hunger, you might find yourself regretting later. I refuse to do that to you.” He apologised, redoing her buttons once more and placing a kiss on her sternum before clothing her once more. _“It pains me to button you up.”_

“And I can have _that_ anytime?”

“Of course, just not when I have not made the place conducive to spoiling you that way. Give me a few days, please?”

Ellana pouted, however intrigued by the idea of all the hoops he was willing to jump through to make her happy. Cullen rarely did something romantic, although he was extremely sweet. Cullen could be quite oblivious to her needs for some flare and romance. 

“Fine. I am starving.”

“Would you like to raid my fridge or would you like for me to make something?”

_“Raid - Fridge - Ice cream.”_ She replied in a stroppy way. 

“I have sixteen tubs of ice cream in case you ever came by, please feel free to decimate the supply.” Solas winked, pulling her into his arms and carrying her bridal style down the corridor and stairs, her new shoes hanging from her feet, Cullen's bracelet all but forgotten on the bedside table. 


	18. penguins

The loading bar finally reaches 100%, there it was. Her new course schedule. 

After much deliberation, Ellana decided to fill her foundational year with as many subjects as possible that she was relatively sure of passing. Spending the day with Solas had awoken many feelings she’s buried deep inside. He even sent her home that day after she fell asleep on his couch. Watching the printer slowly throw up a piece of paper is one of the most tedious things one has to endure. Ellana picked up the warmed paper, enjoying the new printer smell lingering. 

Introduction to Typography, Principles of Arts Management, Introduction to Storyboarding, Introduction to Digital Essentials. Sounds easy enough. 

Her semester was beginning for another week, she still had to finalise her dorm paperwork, her security deposits and figure out what to do with Cullen. He hasn’t texted back in an entire day, which was uncharacteristic of him. Regardless, it was something weighing on her mind. 

_“Uh-oh, you’re making that face again.”_ Leliana commented, looking up from her phone before glancing back at the various alerts flooding her phone. 

“What face?”

“You have a secret. I’ve been here three hours and you’ve said two things. You got a full scholarship which you don't seem all that excited about, and also that you have to move out next week. Normally I’m alright with your quiet awkwardness, but today you’re just being evasive.”

Ellana gulped, feeling her blood turn icy. 

“Don’t we all have secrets?”

Leliana shifted to sit closer to Ellana on her bed.

“Is it Cullen? You’re bothered that he is going to a different school and you’re wondering how it’s going to work long distance. My advice? Break it off while you can. I love that guy but seriously we both know he’s not your type.”

Ellana looked up at that comment, pouting as she moved to sit closer to Leliana where she replied to her endless stream of messages. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Leliana put her phone down politely, ignoring the pinging currently vibrating the phone off the bed. She reached forth to hold Ellana’s hand gently but firmly. 

“You don’t think I see you texting some guy named S?”

Leliana doesn’t miss anything, a fact that made Ellana deeply frustrated. 

“It’s.. complicated.”

“I’m sure, but if you’re texting someone else and you seem to be doing that quite often, I think you’re over Cullen. Do you want me to help? Don’t ever bother trying to deny it. You’ve been texting this guy since Ameridan asked you out.”

“How do you know about that?”

“He told me. He’s a really interesting guy, I think he’s in SU now. Anyways, I really think you should break it off with Cullen before he does it first. ”

“Oh? Well. About Cullen, I haven’t figured out how to tell him yet - _wait what do you mean he does it first?”_

“What I mean is, he’s wonderful and sweet and thoughtful but also has some serious self esteem issues because he’s the middle child. Also, I might have _some information_ that would help initiate a guilt free break up.”

Leliana draped her arms over Ellana’s shoulders, pulling her into a hug. 

“Don’t tell anyone.” Ellana whispered. 

_“I’m not Josie.”_ Leliana replied softly, petting Ellana before hopping off her bed. “I’ve gotta run, errands and all. Thanks for lending me your printer, I swear I’m going to go buy toner soon but goodness is it expensive as heck. ”

“Leliana, what do you do exactly?”

“Everything.”

Leliana winks, shutting the door behind her wordlessly. Ellana observed her footsteps go down her stairs, walking to the door, and shutting the door behind her. She was always more of an outdoor cat, Leliana often popped in and out of discussions seamlessly without people even realising she was missing or there. 

Just as she was about to go to her window to watch Leliana drive away, Ellana’s phone buzzes loudly in her pocket, causing her to jump. 

“Hello?”

“Hey, so er.. we need to talk.”

“Cullen what’s wrong?”

“I think we should do this in person..”

“In person?”

“Yep.”

“Am I in trouble?”

“No, but I might be..”

“Oh?”

“Just, come downstairs in five.”

“Sure.. okay.”

“And Josephine is also here.”

“Okay.. what’s happening?”

“Nevermind I’m pulling in now, come downstairs.”

Ellana dashes out of her room, hap hazardously sliding down the railing of her staircase before reaching the door and pulling it open before Cullen could reach for it. Her brain resonated with what Leliana had said earlier. 

Josephine stood behind Cullen, lips pursed. 

“Please, come in.”

“Is Deshanna home?”

“Oh, no she’s out. Hey guys, what’s up?”

Josephine reaches for Ellana’s hand and holds it tightly as Leliana had done so before, leading her to the couch in the living room. Cullen settles down a distance away from the girls, his eyes sad and his brows tangled as he looked away. 

“I’m just here for emotional support okay?” Josephine insisted, holding Ellana’s hand tightly before leaning her head on Ellana’s shoulder. 

“Ellana,” Cullen started as he stared at her brand new Mary Jane heels, his eyes travelling up to her eyes. “Ellana you know I love you right?”

“Yeah, of course I do.”

“It’s not easy saying what I’m about to say, but I want you to know that this is in no way a statement on who you are as a wonderful person.” Cullen glanced away once more before he shifted uncomfortably in his seat. 

“Are you br-“

“Ellana, I kissed Evelyn.”

Silence fell in the room. Ellana sat frozen in her spot, trying to decipher what she was feeling. Relief? Joy? Betrayal? Goodness knows she did more than kiss Solas. Josephine held her tighter, wrapping her arms around Ellana tightly. 

“What?”

“I’m really really sorry. It’s wrong of me and I wanted to come clean, it’s been eating me up.”

Poor Cullen, such a small thing eats him up, if only he knew what Ellana was hiding.Ellana accessed her protocol for how a girlfriend should react in this type of situation. 

“Let it out, honey, let it out.” Josephine encouraged, patting her back gently and rocking her where she sat. Ellana simply sat there, staring at the ridges of his knuckles pale against bone where he clenched them on his knees. She wondered briefly if she could managed the words How Could You whilst sounding convincing. 

“Ellana?” Cullen probed, moving to sit closer to her. “I’m so sorry. I understand if this is a deal breaker for you..” His voice apologetic, his tone sincere, Cullen gulped hard waiting for her response. 

“Why?” Ellana whispered, expressionless as she held Josephine’s hand. Her sense of betrayal felt ironic and unfamiliar in her mind as she had done far worse to him, the whole premise of their relationship hinged on a lie. 

“She got her admissions letter the other day, and we’re going to be in the same batch next semester.. and I just thought to myself how you’re not going to be in the same city as me, and how that’s going to affect us, and in my fear.. I.. misjudged myself and I made a mistake.” 

Ellana reached for his hand, cupping it with hers. 

“Okay.” Ellana managed, a tear escaping her eye as she stood to leave. 

“Ellana? Honey?”

“Go away.”

“Cullen, go.” Josephine nodded at the door, running after Ellana who was running back to her room sobbing. 

Ellana let out a scream which tore through the house, hurling a pencil case at the floor and crashing onto her bed. 

“It’s okay honey, it’s okay, I’m angry at him too.”

“Josie? When did you find out?”

“I just found out too, I’m so sorry. He called me this morning and he mentioned he needed me to come over, and I was super surprised because then he explained that maybe it was best you were here with me instead of alone when he mentioned so you would have someone to complain to about him. Anyways I texted Leliana after that and she said she was with you and that we should head over quickly because you seem to be losing your mind.” 

Ellana clung onto Josephine, letting her tears stain Josephine’s jacket. So that's what Leliana meant when she said she wasn't Josie... 

“I’m so sorry honey,” She cooed, stroking Ellana’s hair. “Forget him. You can do better. Forget Cullen.” 

“I want chocolate.” 

“Okay honey, I’ll go grab some, is it in the kitchen?”

Ellana nodded, wiping her tears away with her blanket. Josephine stood, grabbing the edges of her heavy duvet before draping it over her head. 

“You be safe here. I’ll go grab snacks. Then we can trash talk him, and watch a movie, and I can sleep over and have more snacks okay?”

“Okay.” Ellana groaned, feeling her eyes sting as she cried even harder. Reaching for her phone, she texts Cullen. 

** YOU **

11.32am 

I forgive you. 

** S. **

11.32am

I’m sorry? 

** YOU **

11.32am 

Sorry, wrong person, that was meant for Cullen. 

** S. **

11:33am 

Is everything alright? Should I come and get you?

** YOU **

11:33am 

Spending the day with Josie. I’ll call you later at night. 

** S. **

11:33am

I’m here for you. If that bastard laid a hand on you, I swear I’ll rearrange his face. 

“I found snacks!” Josephine chirped, pulling the blanket off of her head before dumping a basket filled with various chips, sweets and biscuits in her lap. “No phone. No texting him. Cullen deserves silent treatment for at least a day.” Josephine chidded, grabbing the device from her hand and relocating into a drawer before shutting it. 

“No phone. Got it.” Ellana cleared her throat, wiping the remnants of her tears off with her sleeve. 

“I’ve postponed that floral arrangement class I was going to take, so I’m here for you all night. I’ve cleared it already with my parents, they’re okay if I stay over. Okay? We’re gonna take care of you.” Josephine grabbed Ellana’s face, patting it gently before grabbing the laptop off the desk. 

“Okay.”

“Was Leliana just here? We drove past her on our way in.”

“Yea, she was borrowing my printer. I’m not sure, she’s just printed a bunch of 1s and 0s… 10 pages of it.”

“Do you think she’s some kind of spy?”

“She’s probably the most likely to be arrested in the future.”

“Ha!” Josephine rolled back in laughter, hitting her head loudly on the headboard. “Okay ouch, but seriously I think she’s getting really into crypto.”

“I have no idea what that means.”

“Nevermind.. Movie time. You pick, just nothing scary.” Josephine grinned, stuffing a cinnamon bun into her mouth as she kicked her shoes off. 

“I kind of want to watch that documentary about penguins..”

“Let’s do that,” Josephine patted the space beside her on the bed, pulling Ellana’s hand up to the stack of pillows. “I got your back, Cullen’s the worst right my gosh.” She continued casually. “I gave him an earful on the way here, I even punched him but I think I might have injured myself.”

“Oh no, that’s not good..” Ellana smiled, her eyes glancing at the drawer Josephine shoved her phone into. She closed her eyes, leaning on Josephine’s shoulder as the rolling introduction to the documentary began. "Josie. I love you, you know I do, but I kind of have an evening thing with Deshanna.."

"Ah, okay, then let's watch the documentary and grab some lunch and then I can leave you to it?"

"Sure, that works, I really appreciate that you're here for me."

"Of course, no problem at all! I totally get that you want some personal space and all. Listen to sad music and cry it all out and all. But not now. Now we have to snack and look at penguins."

"Yes, penguins are the best." 


	19. apple polishers

The hall was brightly lit, florescent lights bouncing off moss green seats with the annoying tables on the arms. The carpet was new, barely dented in. Projectors still had plastic covers on them, even the table had the label on it. This was a truly new lecture theatre. 

Ellana sighed, she had not returned to the university until she moved into the dorms a day ago. Tearful goodbyes with Deshanna and Josephine, Ellana was about to embark on the next leg of her journey. Her phone crammed with unread texts from Cullen, she tried hard to focus on the surreal reality that is her university life. 

The students were filing in slowly, Ellana made sure she took a seat in the back so as to remain as anonymous as possible. Brand new heels clicking on her feet, Ellana felt both overdressed and underdressed at the same time. The air conditioning making her skin prickle with goosebumps, Ellana searched her bag for a jacket. Damn her memory, she had left it on the table before she left her room that morning. 

Eyes still heavy with sleep, she leaned back for a nap. It was barely ten minutes in before she feels the entire theatre fall into conspicuous silence. The girls sitting a row in front were whispering, seemingly excited. From their conversation, Ellana inferred that they were from the same school prior to admission, and that they seemed to be very thrilled that they got placed in this class because it was somehow difficult to get into. Ellana also inferred that they were chatting about some tall person in their hall that they all had a crush on. Details about Solas slipped from the tidbits she could hold onto in her sleepy state. It felt abstract how they could talk about him that way when she’s seen him completely untethered and genuine with her. She could still remember his warm hands, his gently lips on her neck, his eyes following her with adoration. An involuntary smile crept over her lips. 

The lecture theatre was getting dark as some technicians filed in to adjust the projector settings, filling the room with the static sounds of the mic test.Sitting in the last row had its benefits. Ellana cornered the left most side of the seats, reserving two seats beside her for her belonging which were scattered across her aisle. This is where the loners or people who didn’t want to pay attention sit at. 

The door behind her opened with a quiet whoosh, she felt a hand caress the back of her neck as he bent down and placed a velvet jacket over her form before the other students turned around in reaction to the sound of the door. Ellana focused on his back as he walked down the steps of the aisle towards the projector and desk. White dress shirt, blue velvet trousers, a singular pin on his lapel of a dagger. Laptop in his arms, Solas placed his belongings on the side of the desk as he waited for the technicians to set everything up for him. 

Ellana strung her arms through the sleeves of his jacket, realising in fact that it was in her size. She wondered when he got it made for her. Reaching into the pocket, she fished a neatly folded note from its holder. 

_ Darling,  _

_ I sincerely hope you will enjoy seeing me in my element.  _

_ Please refrain from asking questions, I’ll be available for private consultations after, I do not wish to draw attention to you if I do not have to. Today we will be covering the topic of strategic planning of an exhibition, as well as some basics to funding. On that note, please also refrain from answering any of the questions I throw into the room as I will be forced to correct you publicly if you have the wrong answer, and it can be rather obvious when I have a favourite.  _

_ Also, I’ve taken the liberty of booking a dinner reservation. It would be my utmost pleasure if you could accompany me this evening.  _

_ S _

Ellana grinned to herself in the dark looking down at him on stage. She watched him reach for his phone as he scrolled through the messages. 

** YOU **

8.27am 

I’m not wearing panties. 

** S.  **

8.27am 

You torment me once more. This is acceptable.

** YOU **

8.27am 

_ <IMAGE_8.27AM.JPG> _

** S. **

8.28am 

~~_ Fffffffffffffff _ ~~

Solas’ eyebrows arched, his head turning away from his phone in an obvious attempt to curb his reflexes. Ellana noticed his shoulders tighten and then relax as he took a deep breath before glancing in her direction with a scowl. 

** S. **

8.30am 

I love you. We’re beginning soon. Hope the jacket fits. 

Ellana looked up from her phone to watch him tuck his phone back into his jacket pocket. 

The girls in the row in front giggled to themselves, exchanging some story about the same tall guy in their hall and stalking his social media accounts. 

“Mic test. One two three. Is the back row audio alright? Is it too loud or all good? Alright.”

Solas placed the microphone down before turning the volume way down, his powerpoint slides finally appearing over his screen. Ellana pulls out a notebook, sticking her pen between her teeth and nibbling before removing it. 

“Alright, so today we’re going to cover some introductions. If everyone bothered to complete their compulsory readings last night, this should be quite self explanatory for you. If not, be prepared todo so this evening in addition to the documents for reviewing after class today. 

Okay, so what is arts management?

This subject is designed to ease students into the theories, processes, and practices behind strategic planning and decision-making in arts organisations today. In addition to generic management issues, students will be asked to identify and analyse issues specific to the arts industry. Students will be introduced to core issues in arts management, including strategic planning, governance, employment relations and workforce development, funding and financing, community and audience engagement; and evaluations and indicators. 

Can anyone please tell me what are some contemporary issues in the context of the arts industry?”

The silence fell over the hall as a singular person raised their hand. 

_ “Cultural heritage policies?”  _

That voice.. 

Ellana squinted, craning to see who it was. The curls, the tenor of his voice. 

**_Ameridan._ **

“Adequate. Going in the right direction, but not quite. Your name, Mister..”

“Gravelle. Ameridan Gravelle.”

A stir of conversations bubbled in the theatre, Ellana once again turns her attention to finding out what all the fuss was about. 

“Alright. Now I know you must have heard by now that every year I pick a promising student for the Guild apprenticeship program. On behalf of the Arts department, I can only say that the person I nominate is often organised, attentive to detail and very ambitious. Any attempts at trying to gain my favour through the means of bribery, apple polishing, humble bragging or stealing my cat will not be tolerated. 

I may however be persuaded by good penmanship, preparedness in class, punctuality and overall display of decorum. Any speculation by any student with regards to who I choose to nominate will automatically take the individual off the list. Is that clear?” 

Solas cleared his throat before continuing. 

A murmur settled into silence once more. 

“Cultural heritage policies is one of the subjects yes. Thank you Mr. Gravelle. Anyone else?”

Ellana grinned, pulling her hand into the air. Solas’ eyes land on her momentarily before scanning the room again. 

“No one? You in the back.” He reluctantly called. 

Ellana grinned. 

“Issues within the arts management industry vary depending on location. To which are you referring?” Ellana asked in a soft tone, almost too eagerly with the knowledge that he was unwilling to chastise her in public. 

Solas offered a small smile, fighting his instincts to praise her with a fist clenched in his pocket. 

“Very good. I had not specified the region, you caught that. How about within the municipals of Haven?”

Ellana watched as all eyes turned to her, even the three girls sitting in the row in front. 

With a gulp she opened her mouth, scrambling for an adequate reply. 

“Haven currently faces decrease in subsidies from the government.” 

“What does that mean for the community?” Solas probes further. 

“Art managers have to find a new way of funding, leading to new ways of partnering with corporations for mutual support and developing collaborations. This often means that the works or exhibitions could be biased in favour of the organisation supporting the events. Additionally, there is a lack of professionals in this industry in the region of Haven, the lack of staffing or interested participants creates opportunities in education and job creation.” 

Solas nods, moving back to his laptop and turning the slides to the correct answer. The words projected large across the display contained the following bullet points. 

  * Specific to region and cultural context 
  * e.g. finance leads to biased representation 
  * Education sector yet to catch up to demands of the population 
  * e.g. universities offering arts management courses are few compared to other courses in technology. 



“And you are?”

“Lavellan. Ellana Lavellan."

"Ellana, coming out strong.” Solas mused, his breathing even. Ellana observes him catching himself as he uses her first name instead of her family name like he did with Ameridan.

“The only way I come.” Ellana pushed her luck once more, earning giggles from the boys in the middle row of the theatre.

Solas threw her the ‘I totally walked into that’ look before returning to his laptop once more to change the slides. 

“Okay smart mouth, sit down.” He chided, “Moving on. Lack of art managers is in fact a huge issue in the industry. Can anyone tell me the main focus for an art manager?” 

The theatre was filled with murmurs once more, the girls in front of her flashed her a thumbs up before one of them handed their phones to her for her phone number. 

“Hey, I’m Dagna. It’s really nice to meet you.” She whispered, taking the phone back from Ellana. 

“Likewise.” Ellana grinned, pulling her jacket closer to her form. 

“Candy?” Dagna offered, a pink wrapper in her hand. 

“My parents told me not to accept candy from a stranger, but I guess you’re not a stranger anymore. Thanks.” Ellana whispers as she leans forwards to grab it from her before watching them return to their discussion about the attractive boy in their hall. 

Ellana grinned, a new friend on her first day. 

“ No, that's not the role of an art manager at all.” Solas’ tone turned cold as Ellana finally tuned back into the discussion. “ _If one cannot be bothered to refer to the reading materials I have put together, then one can avoid wasting my time._ Anyone else?”

Ellana raised her hand once more, watching Solas’ face flush into a bright shade of pink as he paced around the stage area. 

“Is anyone other than Lavellan paying attention? No, I want someone else to answer it.” Solas sighed, leaning on the edge of the table with his arms crossed. 

“Why are you such an ass?” A voice came from the back row, except all the way to the right. All eyes turn to the direction. A girl with raven dark hair, several piercings and her legs propped on the back of the seats blew her fringe from her hair. 

“I apologise if this is boring you, but as I understand it you had the freedom of signing for this class. If you give me your name, I’m happy to sign your transfer to a different course where they appreciate your brand of humour, _perhaps Professor Tethras might be accomodating._ ” Solas replied, cold and curt as he paced towards the voice. 

“Morrigan. And I’m only taking your class because I was under the impression that you were one of the best lecturers in this faculty, published with many citations in journals. I did not take it to listen to you waste your breath on criticising students for not reading lecture notes.” 

“Perhaps you should tell that to your classmates, they waste your time, not me. My goal is simply to try and provide relevant information to those interested enough to learn so that they may prosper in the field.” 

Solas flashed her a glare with deep disapproval, before ignoring her comment entirely. 

Ellana watched as Morrigan rolled her eyes before returning to her notebook. 

“I wonder if the defining trait of this batch is the hebetude with which you people attend your classes..” He muttered before returning to his teaching. 

Ellana saw little point in participating once she realised that Solas was probably not going to call her name again, opting instead to spend her time browsing ahead on the fresh lecture notes, and sketching flowers on the edges of her printed notes. 

The following two hours were filled with Solas explaining what Ellana already knew from the time she spent with him two years ago, and the occasional disapproval when he picks on an unprepared student. Ellana could see why he was the favourite lecturer of many students; he was straightforwards with his comments, succinct in his explanations, uninterested in wasting time or prolonging the student’s sufferings, and his perspectives were well informed with the unique perspective of an antediluvian education system. 

As the lecture hall’s lights come on, Solas reminds everyone to read through the materials for the class tomorrow, and complete some research beforehand in preparation for group discussions. 

The students slowly file out of class, dispersing out the doors of the lecture hall. Ellana watched as Solas packed his laptop and untangle the wires connected to the projector, making his way back up the steps which he came. He passes her without even casting her a glance. 

Ellana waited for several moments before following behind. 

The familiar scene, the hallways she only remembered in the darkness of that night he took her to the opening ceremony. The corridor to the teacher offices was quiet. Ellana looked around before approaching. Out of nowhere, the doors closest to her bursts open. A stout man with his hair tied half up and his chest unbuttoned all the way to his navel runs out with a fire extinguisher. 

“Damnit Bianca I told you not to go near the flame thrower, stupid experimental physics people leaving their shit lying around.. ” he mumbled as he ran towards the direction Ellana just came from. His footsteps rattling with the thousand bangles and accessories he had over his hirsute arms. His phone tucked between his cheek and shoulder, he struggled to hold onto the large red metal cannister. Ellana’s eyes followed him until he turns the corner. 

Solas’ office door swings open almost silently. 

_ “Approach. I do not appreciate lingering.” _

Ellana shuts the door behind her before throwing herself into the couch. Noticing it was Ellana, Solas softened his gaze where he held the door open for her. 

“Vhenan, I've missed you..”

“So..  That was different.” Ellana removed her jacket and threw it in Solas' direction. She watched him catch it and drape it over his chair. 

“A good different?” Solas enquired, sitting next to her on the couch, adjusting her head to lay over his lap as he ran his fingers across her hair and scalp. 

“I’ve never seen you this.. fierce.”

Solas let out a soft chuckle before he cups her cheeks. 

“My tenderness is reserved for you. Only you.” He reaffirms, leaning down to place a gentle kiss over her forehead. 

“I saw a guy run out with a fire extinguisher just now.”

“Varric, yes. He’s attracted to the rambunctious types. He’s secretly pursuing a relationship with another lecturer in the Materials department, and she happens to take an unconventional way of educating her wards.” 

“Nice. I’m taking his writing class.”

“Bring a raincoat.”

“What?”

“Okay actually bring a change of clothes too. Don’t eat breakfast before you take the class. Oh and don’t mention anything about red lyrium or he will remember it.” 

“Oh goodness what is he going to do to the class?”

“You’ll see. You have him tomorrow right?”

“Yep.”

“You're going to mention the red lyrium aren't you?”

“Yep.”

“I regret telling you.”

Ellana sits upright, insinuating herself in the nook of his neck before taking in his scent. She drags her teeth along his exposed skin before biting down gently.

“Are you still upset about Cullen?”

“I’m not sure what to do with him. Thoughts?”

_ “You know my preference.” _

“Yes but I feel bad.” 

“And I’m right here to kiss it all better.” Solas pulled her close, pressing his lips against her for the first time in a week. _“Better?”_

“Maybe try one more time.”

Solas growls deep in his chest, pushing her over in the couch and leaning over her face. 

“I’m not sure I can control myself if you use that voice on me.”

“Then don’t. Unless you were lying about wanting to make me all better..”

Solas retracts from her, settling her head back on his lap. “If you’re going to expose yourself in my class, please let it not be on the first day.” 

“Remember the last time we were in this room together?” Ellana sighed, shutting her eyes and bringing his hands up to her lips before sucking on index finger. 

“How can I forget?”

“Do you ever think about it?”

“Every moment I can. I regret not taking the opportunity to please you. I'm all for making it up to you now that you are in fact.. of age.”

Ellana fell silent once more. Her eyes fluttered open, meeting his gaze. 

“Thank you for the jacket, I was very cold until you showed up.” 

“Of course. It matches one of mine, I like the textile.”

Solas cocks his head to the side, brushing his hands along her neck, down her sternum before it slid under her shirt and onto her belly. 

“ I don’t have any other classes today.”

“ What would you like to do today? I do have another afternoon class and then we can grab dinner, but that’s another five hours away.”

“I was thinking of exploring the school grounds, meeting new people, or maybe I might head back to my dorm to take a nap.”

“ The dorm arrangement is merely a formality, I was actually wondering if you were open to the idea of - “

“ - Can I move in with you?” Ellana cuts him off before he could finish the sentence.

Solas smiles softly before he cradles her protectively in his chest.

"I mean if that's okay.."

"You keep saying things that make me love you more."

"But what about the room that I unpacked in last night? I know it's a single room and no one is actually going to find out that I'm not living in there.. but it's paid for and I feel like I'm wasting money."

“You can use your dorm room as a studio or a social venue or for storage, merely a formality when Deshanna visits I suppose. As for moving in, I must admit I’m inclined to that option, but you might have to be quite discreet about the arrangement. Protocols put in to prevent detection and whatnot.” 

“We can draft it tonight, some ground rules.”

"It's not a waste of money. Every cent is worth it if it makes you smile." 

Ellana frowned. "I still feel quite guilty."

"Let me ease that guilt by saying that your happiness and what you want to do matters more to me than financial resources. I promise you that I'm not spending money that I will be missing." 

"How much do you actually make in a month?"

"I have various alternate revenue streams. One of my independent ventures is really taking on, it's gaining some traction in the press as well after a certain incident happened. I'm planning to expand that venture soon. I know it sounds bad, but honestly I don't believe I'm spending that much on you at all. I would of course be willing to spend a substantial amount more and even then that would barely make a dent to my paycheck."

"Oh. So because you have enough for yourself you're willing to spend on me?"

"An investment to our future."

"Do you ever want to get married?"

"That's more of a decision on your part isn't it?"

Ellana thought for a moment, wondering if he is saying what she thinks he is saying. 

"That's up to me too?"

"I suppose that's the only way I envision myself getting married to anyone. I find it difficult to form attachments once I am deeply invested."

"Are you?"

Solas leaned down to place his forehead on hers. 

_"Deeply."_

His voice vibrating against his throat caused Ellana to purr and arch into his embrace. 

"Would you ever consider taking my last name?" Ellana pushed, her eyes drooping slightly with fatigue. 

"If it makes you happy, there's little I wouldn't do."

"I was unpacking till 4am last night, I'm quite tired.. So I might just head back and crash. Unless you have some coffee somewhere in here.. maybe I can do the required reading now."

“ Would you like to take a nap on my couch until I’m back from my other lecture? I have some blankets for just this occasion. Alternatively I can always drive you back to my place and you can have the big bed all to yourself. Maybe the cat will come and say hello today. I was planning to read the pdf to you tonight actually."

"Whilst I eat ice cream?"

"If you want. I figured you respond better with auditory learning." 

Ellana looked up at him, studying his freshly shaven chin before she reached forwards to caress him. 

“I don’t want to distract you if I stay..” Ellana mentions, changing the topic once more. 

“That’s a lie. You enjoy distracting me.”

“Okay yes, I love it. “ Ellana pouted, looking away as she guided his hands up to her silky brassiere before pushing his hands under the material over the gentle slope of her breasts. 

Solas hissed sharply before running his index finger over an erect nipple. 

“First you break into our house, and then you eat all my ice cream, and then you ignore me for a week, and now you're back in my arms again. "

Ellana’s giggle left her throat like a beautiful drop of poison swirling in wine. “Tell me to stop it.”

“Never.”

Solas removes his hand from her shirt, rocking her in his arms slowly as he hummed an unrecognisable tune. Ellana finds her eyes shutting, her previous sleepless evening and resulting drowsiness becoming more difficult to resist. 

_“I love you too.”_ Ellana murmured quietly, responding to his earlier text. 

“Let the record reflect that I said it first, no further questions.” Solas mused once more, covering her lips with his own and brushing his tongue gently against hers. 

“Are you going to help me move?” 

“If you would like me to help, of course. I’m also open to the option of applying for a separate debit card in your name for you to spend as you wish, virtual shopping or physical.” Solas cooed, rocking her even slower now that he notices her eyes shutting. 

“Thank you for spoiling me.”

“Thank you for letting me spoil you.” Solas responds, settling her head on the couch before locating a blanket to drape over her shoulders. With some stealth, he reaches for the blinds along the floor length windows, drawing them shut to limit the light hitting the couch where Ellana was curled up in. 

Returning to his desk, Solas prepares for his next lesson in silence. 


	20. the metal tin

When she awoke, he was no longer in the office. The lamp beside her was lit in foresight of the darkening skies. Ellana stretched fully before she sat up, realising that Solas had plugged her phone in to charge and possibly seen all the messages Cullen had sent her in her sleep. 

Ellana takes a deep breath, making her way to his desk before she sat at his desk. She notices his planner sitting on the edge of the desk, bound in leather and almost fraying at the edges. Carefully pulling the binding aside, Ellana flips to the current day’s page and grabs a pen. She inscribes the following on the bottom left corner. 

~~_ Feel the flames, they've been burning inside out right there _ ~~

~~_ Does it scare you? _ ~~

~~_ To know that I don't feel the pain _ ~~

She grins, shutting his book once more and returning it to its place. 

Ellana leans back in his chair, feeling it cushion her back as he would when she went to visit him in his room two years prior. She counts the drawers that are locked and unlocked, pulling the closest one to her open. The content was neatly arranged. Stationery, refills, staplers, two utility knives, the jaw bone of some animal, a metal box larger than her palm lay at the very back of the drawer. 

Metal tins almost always have secrets in them. Knowing that, she pries it open carefully, unsure of what to expect. 

At first blush, it seemed to be a pile of notes and sketches. Picking one up, she notices the dates. It began on the day he moved in, all the way to when he moved out. They were sketches of her. Ellana’s hands, her lips, her eyes, the way she smiled when she spots a stray cat perched on the sidewalk. Pencil, charcoal, ink, watercolours, all the mediums. As time went on, it became the way she knelt on her bed as she removed her dress, the curves of her back, and when she would bend over to adjust the ankles of her heels. 

Ellana blushed, wondering why Solas never mentioned he had drawn these. Behind each sketch was a paragraph of thoughts. She mentally went through them whilst taking a peak at the clock on his table to ensure she would not be intruded upon. 

_ “She watches me with inquisitive eyes, she has many questions hiding behind them, too afraid to ask. I would like to show her that I am approachable. - 2 Pluitanis” _

_ “It is clear she has an urge to feel like the mental equal or superior to her peers. I believe she needs the opportunity to be heard. She managed to argue me into changing my stance on ferrets. - 3 Pluitanis” _

_ “Ellana dislikes asparagus. - 3 Pluitanis” _

She arched her eyebrows in agreement, asparagus was vile to her and tasted like soap. 

_ “Ellana wants to be a graphic designer, I think she has promise. However, I believe she still needs to temper her observation skills. Will be getting her a sketchbook soon. - 5 Pluitanis”  _

She flipped to a sketch from the middle of the pile. 

_ “She kissed me today. I fear I will regret everything that happens after today. Regardless, I am curious to see how this turns out. - 15 Eluviesta” _

_ “Ellana was crying today because she saw Mythal running out of my room, I fear she has developed feelings for me. I fear I return her feelings. - 15 Eluviesta”  _

She paused at that name, remember how the lady looked as she ran out. Eyes of pure rage and humiliation, she still wondered what made her run out so quickly. She decided to bring it up at a later date. 

_“ Do not feed her too much sugar. She was jumping on her bed till 3am.”_ Was written in large red block letters on a post-it note that had long lost its adhesive purpose. 

_“Fire, I feel fire in my mind.”_ Was behind another sketch of Ellana in the black dress she wore to Fortnum Gallery. 

_“Praise her.” _Was written over and over again on another sketch with Ellana’s form half clothed, as a figure partially rendered resembling Solas knelt before her feet, his hands reaching for hers. Ellana felt a shiver run down her spine at the image. 

_“34B”_ was scrawled on yet another piece of paper, with the rather detailed sketch of just her bust with no other facial details, arched on the bed with her lips open in pleasure. 

Ellana folded those back, noticing an envelope amongst the papers. It was thick and almost breaking along the edges at the content within. Opening that carefully, Ellana pulled out yet another stack of sketches, except these were way more explicit in nature. 

One sketch was of her sprawled across the bed with a hand pleasuring the apex of her legs. Another was the front view of how she would look if she was riding on his member. Several others were what he imagined her princess parts would look like, scratched out until he had one he felt was the most accurate. Ellana raised her eyebrows once more, he was quite close to what she actually looked like, which impressed her thoroughly. 

A sketch was even made with coloured paper. The pink page contained a sketch of her crying against her bookshelf with her sketchbook in her hand. The words beside it read:

_Lovingly, I want to hold you and make you forget your pain._

_Eagerly, I want to ease your mind and furl your toes._

_Painfully, I want to take you slow and wild._

_Thoroughly, I want to love you._

The following few were the most explicit of all. Drawn in a dark blue pencil, they were sketches of Ellana curled up in his arms, of her spread across the bed, of her arms tied over her head as he performed oral pleasure upon her. There was even one where she was grabbing his throat with clawed hands where he knelt blindfolded and helpless before her. 

Ellana couldn’t help herself but feel slightly flattered and aroused. She tucks the sketches back into its envelope before returning everything back to normal. 

The beep of the door releases the magnetic latch retaining its current state. Solas pushes the door open, laptop bag slung across his shoulder with a new stack of reports for marking. 

“My love, you’re awake! Are you hungry? We have to hurry if we want to make the reservation in time. I have to take a shower I’ve been drowning in stupid questions for the past two hours.” 

Ellana ignores his question, opting to climb over this desk before she folded herself neatly upon it. 

“I had a dream about us.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah..”

“Would you like to share with me what it was about? Perhaps I could make it a reality.”

Ellana reached forwards for his shirt before pulling him roughly to her, eliciting a groan from his lips. 

“What if I just show you?”

“If this is going to make us late for dinner, I’ve gotta call ahead or we might be blacklisted.” Solas offers, leaning closer to her. 

“No, forget it I won’t tell you.”

Solas whimpered, his eyebrows knotted in disappointment with himself. 

“Please?” 

“Please.. what?”

“Please, my love..” He whispered against her lips as he positions her to dangle her legs off the edge of the table.

“Kneel.” 

Solas tilts his head up at her before dropping to his knees without wasting a moment. Anticipation and eagerness written all over his face, Solas whimpers once more. 

_ “Please, my Queen.”  _

Ellana parts her legs, her eyes holding his gaze with assertiveness as she rests her new heels on his shoulders, pulling his face closer to her skirt hem. 

“You have denied me for too long.”

“I’m sorry, I must be punished. “ He gulps, looking down at his knees. 

“You know what I want, _yet you refuse to give it to me. “_

“I have no reason to withhold it from you anymore. Please, tell me how to please you and it will be done.” Solas purrs, shuffling forwards to lean his chin on her knee. 

Ellana grabs his chin, holding it firmly and guiding it to her exposed core. She watched as his eyes widened and fixated upon her slightly moistened lips. Pushing him back onto the floor with one hard kick, she closes her legs once more. 

_ “Now I will deny you of what you want. Perhaps you should go to dinner alone.” _

" _No.. please.._ I am undeserving of your presence. Perhaps I could watch as you eat. Please, my Queen.."

Solas pants unevenly upon landing on his back. Regaining his balance, he crawls back to her feet before stroking her ankles. 

“If my pain brings you pleasure, I will take it.” Solas insists, trying to convince himself to not be so angry with himself. “I probably deserve it.”

Ellana uses the pointy tip of her shoe to guide his chin back up to look at her. 

“I want to go to dinner, and then I want you to take a shower, and then I want you to make the bed fit for my pleasure. Is that clear?” She leaned down to meet his face. Before he could answer, she presses her lips against his, hard and passionate. 

“Y..yes.. my Queen.” He growls, standing and pulling her into his arms tightly before spinning her around the room twice. 

“Go get the car. I’ll meet you out back.” 

“As you wish.” He looked up with adoration. 

_“Open your mouth.”_ Ellana snapped, pressing his cheeks open as she dipped an index finger into her wetness before smearing it over his tongue. She watched as he shivered rather violently, letting out a guttural moan before dropping back onto his knees. 

“Ellana, please.. “ he begged once more. 

**_ “Car. Now.”  _ **

He gulped, pressing a kiss over each one of her shoes before making his way out of his office with speed. 


	21. again

Dinner was held mostly in silence, with Solas peering over to Ellana with longing as she stroked his thigh under the table, often brushing over his very erect member. The drive home was equally torturous as she continued to ignore him, with the exception of when she decided to remove her bra without taking her top off and pulling out from her collar before throwing it at him. 

"Ellana! I'm driving!" He begs, looking over to her drenched in sweat from the tension he felt.  Her laughter tinkled as he swerved urgently to prevent himself from running a red light. But of course, nothing could compare to the main event. 

This was not the house Ellana woke up in that morning. The familiar gates, the greenery of the building, the swimming pool and lounges and swings. Ellana waited expectedly for him to open the door for her as she removed her shoes and placed them by the entrance. She plops herself onto his couch overlooking the huge painting of her hanging on the wall as he flitted about to turn the lamps on. 

Kneeling before her once more, he takes her hands gently before lowering his eyes and remaining completely silent. 

_“Fireplace.”_ Ellana commanded, watching him look over and activate it with a remote. 

“Would you like me to run a bath?”

“I just want to be _spoilt.”_ Ellana responded, parting her legs once more to reward him with a glimpse of her wetness. Watching his eyes dart to look at her before returning to her eyes, she let out a soft chuckle. 

“I want to spoil you.” Solas echoed back at her. “I shall prepare the bath.” 

Ellana did not follow him upstairs, instead opting to stay at the couch, flipping through her missed messages. Josephine had some updates about yet another attractive boy, Cullen’s apologies have begun to appear in her email rather than her messages, Deshanna sent her 12 photos of their new juniper berry harvest and all of them are blurry images, and Leliana has deleted 2 messages she had sent before her last message just saying “s’all good now it’s chill have a nice day.” 

She was not entirely sure when he appeared before her once more, feeling his hands over her inner thighs and stroking down her legs. 

“Shall I carry you?” He offers, sliding his arms under her knees and back. 

Ellana clutched onto his form with little effort, her arms wrapped around his neck as she nibbled the pointy tip of his ear. Feeling his heat against her skin, his heart fast in his chest, his arms tight and protective around her form, Ellana could not help but take a deep breath. Wrapping her mind around the fact that the same man taking her up the stairs to a lovely bath is also the same man who will critique her essays and possibly fail her if she hadn’t completed her work properly is both thrilling and terrifying at the same time. She tried to search for feelings of doubt, but none exist in her mind. She was equally determined to tame both of these figures. 

Solas finally reaches the top of the three floors, the master bedroom bathroom swirled with the fragrance of flowers and candles. The bath was filled almost to the three quarter mark, pink petals scattered over its milky surface. She spotted the wrappings of two bath bombs in the trash under the sink. With his sleeves folded to his elbows, Solas set her down gently on a dressing chair by the large mirror. Kneeling before her once more, he hands her two vials of glitter. One was gold toned, and the other was silver. 

“Gold.” She picked, watching him uncap the vial and toss it into the water. It mixes easily as the tap continued to fill the tub. 

“May I undress you?” He breathed, his tone barely hiding how eager he was and how nervous he felt. With a nod, Solas reaches for the top of her buttoned top with shaky hands. Easily he removes all of them, pulling it off her shoulders to reveal the peaks of her pert nipples. He fights back a moan and fails, shutting his eyes as he sank down on his knees. 

“Thoughts?” Ellana grins, sitting upright so she could jut her chest out even further. 

“No thoughts, just feelings.” Solas responds with a soft smile. He reaches over to shut the tap off so the tub does not overflow, watching the steam rising from the surface of the tub. 

“Share them with me.”

“Joy, just pure joy.” 

“Would you like to touch them?” Ellana whispered, grabbing his wrists. 

“If I am allowed to.” 

“Only with your mouth.” 

“You’re killing me.” Solas flashes her a smile, his icy gaze barely disguising his desires. 

Just as his lips grazed her nipple, Ellana reaches for his throat. 

“No I change my mind.” Ellana announces, pushing him away. Watching him flinch and hiss as he sinks back down again in defeat, she lets out a laugh. 

“You look so disappointed.”

“ I will not touch what I am not allowed to touch.” He responds through his teeth as a growl, looking down at the tiles of the bathroom. 

Standing, Ellana sheds her skirt, kicking it a distance away. She perches on the edge of the bathtub, reaching a hand in to test the temperature. It seemed acceptable enough, she pulls her feet into the tub, welcoming the warm water against her legs. Realising that there were steps, she made her way down and found a ledge to sit on. Solas turned to observe her, shuffling over on his knees. 

“Undress and join me.” She commanded, floating to the far edge of the large bathtub as she tied her hair up into a bun. 

“If it pleases you.” He barely manages, removing his shirt and shedding his trousers and folding them neatly away. 

Ellana averts her eyes until she feels his form against hers, his arms pulling her close to sit on his lap. She feels a very firm member slip between her inner thighs. His face, so close to hers, his lips begging for her touch. Ellana wriggles away from his embrace, moving to yet another side of the tub overlooking the view of the pool. She notices that he had lit small candles on each corner of the tub. 

Silence fell over them as she took a moment to come to terms with where she was. He followed soon after, a small towel stroking her back and arms as he administered her ablutions. 

“Solas?”

“Yes, my love?”

Ellana clings onto his form in the water, feeling his hardness against her once more. 

“I feel afraid.”

“Do you want me to stop and drive you back?”

“No, that’s not it. I guess I always thought this would happen differently.” 

“Meaning?”

“I don’t know? In my room.. your office.. something unplanned and accidental. This is deliberate. I feel like all this effort is not congruent with what I think I deserve. I feel guilty and underprepared because you are prepared.”

“I was under the impression that you and Cullen..” Solas trails off, his chin on her shoulder as he continued to scrub her back. 

“We did, but it was also accidental.” 

“Ah.”

“Actually that was last week, I lost my virginity last week.”

Solas remained silent, waiting for her to finish speaking. 

“I know how it’s supposed to feel but nothing prepared me for this.” 

“All you need to know is that you can tell me to stop, and I will stop.” 

“Likewise.”

“I don’t want you to stop. _Ever._ ” Solas insists, furrowing his brows as he replaces the washcloth with a sponge. 

Ellana sighs, shutting her eyes as she enjoys the scent of the essential oils in the water. Reaching for his hardness in the opaque water, she hold onto him for the first time. Solas hisses, biting back a moan but failing yet again. His cock straining against her hand, Ellana begins to tug on him languidly. Ellana traces the edge between his tip and shaft gently with her thumb, settling on teasing his tip in circles. 

“He wants to make you very happy.” Solas promises, holding her close so that she does not float away. 

Pushing him to sit on the ledge, Ellana moves to straddle him, feeling his cock against her belly as she administers her slow and steady torture. She glances up at him, his head rolled back in utter joy and disbelief as his eyes were shut tight. With a quick motion, she moves to position herself over him before sitting down. 

_“Ahh..”_ He whimpers, feeling Ellana clench around him tightly. 

_“Okay this is bigger than Cullen, that’s for sure”_ she laughs, staying perfectly still to adjust to the new sensation. Squeezing down hard on him, Ellana elicits yet another growl from deep within his throat. He grabs her tightly and attaches his lips onto her neck fervently, twitching each time she squeezes down. 

Ellana moves up and down slowly over his cock, enjoying the sensation of his ridges before she removes his lips from her neck once more with her clawed hand. 

_“Who is Mythal?”_ She interrogated as she moved faster on his cock. 

Solas was caught off guard, unable to control his twitching as he fought to retain some form of dignity. 

“She.. you’ve seen her once.” Solas blurts out, his eyes shut tightly as he tried to curb his pleasure. 

“Who is she to you?” Ellana continued as she bounced up and down on him, feeling her own pleasure building. 

“My love, please, _I must focus on you.”_ Solas begs. 

“You can tell me or I can stop.” Ellana threatens with a grin, feeling her core clenching rhythmically every time he fills her to the hilt. She ran her hands up and down his chest, pushing him back against the wall of the tub. 

_“No.. don’t stop.. please don’t stop..”_ He begs, grasping onto her waist even tighter before letting out a moan of defeat. “We briefly dated when we were in school together.”

“How briefly?” Ellana continued, bouncing faster over his cock and watching the water displace into the surrounding tiles. 

Solas attaches his lips to one of her nipples, suckling eagerly before moving to her other nipple. 

_“Ahh.. Ellana.. My love, please.. I.. it feels.. slow down..”_ He begs, his chest heaving as he wriggles reluctantly. 

Ellana only moves faster, deeper, and harder as he resisted answering her. 

“Or I can stop.” She threatens once more, taking his lips with her own and tangling her tongue against his. 

“Several months. She got married last year.” Solas hissed, “Please.. slow down.. I can’t hold.. much longer..” He begs, stopping her hips with his arms. Ellana reaches to hold his hands as she reduced her speed, allowing his cock to slip out of her. 

His disappointment came out as a whimper, his eyes following where she hopped out of the tub and dried herself off before jumping onto the bed. 

“My Queen?” He called after her as he rushed out with his towel in hand, dripping all over the floor. 

Insinuated within his bed, was Ellana who had draped herself across the center with her ankles crossed and her back arched. She slid her hands down her breasts, the flat planes of her belly before stopping at her wetness. 

“You’ve dreamed of this.” She called back. 

_“Absolutely sublime.”_ He praised, shuffling to sit beside her as his eyes drank all of her in. The soft candle light flickered against the walls, lighting only the most exquisite parts of her curves. Tantalising and sinister were the shadows on the walls. The luxurious sheets engulfed her figure as she moved to lay on his chest, straddling him once more. 

“You’ve dreamed of this too.” She challenged, holding his erection against her entrance. “Don’t you dare look away.” She commanded, feeling his eyes widen as she lowered herself onto him. 

“Thank you,” he whispered over and over again, feeling himself twitch once more as he was sheathed within her. Taking his hand, she placed it right under her bellybutton. 

“Can you feel yourself stretching me here?” She purred, guiding his palms to feel the way his tip feels as it scrapes against her wetness. 

_“Ye…yes..”_ He answers obediently, “I praise you. I worship you.” He chants, his eyes drinking in all of her form. 

Throwing her head back, Ellana increases her speed once more. 

_“Please.. let me… do the pleasuring..”_ He begs, flipping her onto his back before entering her once more with force. 

She squeaks, the sudden movement welcomed. 

“Faster.” She whispered as he leans down close to her. 

“Yes, my love.” He answers almost immediately, propping himself up with his forearms before he increased his speed. 

_“Faster faster!”_ She commanded, watching his face contort into one of reluctant pleasure as he dialled up the speed. Pulling his face close once more, she attached her lips onto his, feeling his tongue explore her deeper. 

_“You’re close aren’t you?”_ She grinned, arching her back before wrapping her legs over his. 

“Please.. I don’t want to be.. close..” He begged, his eyes sincere as he peppered her neck and jawline with kisses. 

“Too. Bad. You told me you never want me to stop.” She bites down on his neck hard, leaving him with a red mark and simultaneously squeezing down on his cock once more. 

“Ellana! Please, no.. not until you.. are utterly happy.” He begged once more, his tone now desperate as he maintained his speed. 

“I’m not letting you back in if you take it out.” Ellana threatened with a grin, watching him helplessly struggle mentally as he weighed his options. 

“I can pleasure you with my mouth, with my hands, I don’t need to climax.” He offered eagerly, his holding her eyes with tenderness as he removes himself from her before sliding down to the apex of her legs. 

“Well that backfired..” Ellana admits, feeling his tongue glide over the moistened lips of her womanhood before he found her clitoris and began licking in circles. 

“Fingers.” She orders, feeling him glide two of his fingers into her and press against the upper walls of her core. 

At first it was slow, and then fast, and then slow again. It was becoming quite apparent that he knew what he was doing. His hands coated with the evidence of his ministrations, he kissed a trail up to her sternum before moving back down again. 

“I want to worship you every night. Every day.” He groans, his cock stiff against his belly as he continued to lick her. 

“I want you to put it in again.” Ellana looks away, going back on her previous threat. 

“As you wish.” Solas pulls her into a spoon before picking up where he left off, feeling his cock fill her to the brim and push almost against her belly before removing it, and repeating that. 

_“Faster.”_ She commands once again. 

This time, he was not as close to the edge, Solas quickened his pace without complaining as he brought her close to the edge. 

“Please, take your pleasure, it is your right to climax before I do.” He insisted, desire dripping in his voice like butter over warm toast. 

“Faster.” Ellana growled, squeezing down on him even harder. She entwines her fingers with his, feeling his breath quicken against her neck, his sculpted chest against her back, all his muscle and sinew working as hard as they could do please her. 

“Close.” Ellana warns, small noises of pleasure escaping her pink lips. 

“Good girl.” Solas encourages, his fingers searching for her breasts before kneading them gently. 

_“Close.._ ” Came the second warning, Ellana feels her commanding presence peeling away as her vulnerability began to show. 

“I won’t stop until you’ve come. I must spoil you thoroughly, I must do as I am told.” Solas growls, suckling on her neck."Please, will you come for me?" 

_“Daddy!”_ She squeaks before stopping herself and going completely silent, feeling her climax roll over her in shockwaves as she hides her face in embarrassment. 

Solas continues, until her panting stops, sliding out of her and feeling her wetness all over his thighs and his pubis. 

Wordlessly, he presses a kiss over her temple before pulling her up and placing her in the bathroom alone. After using the facilities, Ellana returns to Solas where he sat propped up against the pillow. Her face completely red, she ignores him and avoids making eye contact. 

“Shall I pleasure you again?” He offers, pulling her into a spoon once more and positioning his cock at her entrance. 

Considering for a moment, she turns slightly to look at him. 

_“Again.”_ She nods, pushing down onto him once more. 


	22. situations are similar

The strangeness of that familiar but foreign feeling, like missing a future memory. Ellana considered it in the back of her mind where she lay in his arms. His face buried in her hair, Solas nuzzled her before pulling her even tighter against his chest. Ellana watched the sun rise slowly out the window. The time on the digital alarm reached 7am, beeping softly before she reached out to silence it. 

Solas grumbled, pulling the blankets over his shoulder before settling back in the position he was previous in. Shutting her eyes quickly, Ellana pretended she was asleep so she could observe his morning routine. Very gently, she notices Solas extricate himself from her before tucking the sheets back into the same position as he left the room. Ellana sat up in bed, noticing that her phone had been plugged into the wall charger on her side of the bed. She adjusted her pillows to prop her back up. 

The door opens softly, Solas returns with a tray with fruits, tea and coffee. 

“Oh, did I wake you?”

“I haven’t been asleep for some time.” Ellana responds, looking out the window at the light which burst forth in conflagration of colours. Pinks, golds and yellows spilling into the room. 

Solas frowns, setting the tray of fruit next to her. 

“Is it the bed?”

“No, the bed is lovely. I’m just sensing that after this point I’m only going to get more familiar with you and I’m not entirely sure yet what we’re going to do about the fact that we’re going to face some.. future difficulties.”

“Well, that’s how it works. We solve problems together when they show up.” Solas elaborates, settling in next to her before cutting her a slice of apple. 

Ellana takes it in her lips before enjoying its crisp sweetness. 

_ “You lied to me.” _

“Yes, I apologise.”

“Why?”

“I was afraid that you would not like me anymore if you knew what I truly am.”

“What are you truly?”

_“I want to be what you want me to be.”_ Solas said quietly, continuing to peel and cut his platter of various fruits. 

Ellana removes his tray to the side of the bed before moving to climb over his chest. She threads her arm under his waist before clinging on firmly. 

“I want you to tell me about you.” 

Solas pulled her higher on him before he pressed a kiss over her head. 

“What do you want to know?”

_ “Mythal.” _

“She was my senior from University. I was at an age where I mistook infatuation with affections and I constantly sought for her approval of me. To me, she was the smartest person I had ever met at that time. I think she eventually agreed to go out with me out of pity. Needless to say, it ended after several months.”

“Who ended it?” Ellana bit a chunk out of the pear she was holding before offering some to Solas. 

“I did.”

“But you liked her right?”

_ “I kind of caught her with my professor, Elgar’nan.” _

**_“What?!”_** Ellana choked, hacking up the bits of pear that went down her windpipe before spitting the rest out into a tissue. 

“Yep! I think I would know exactly what type of situation you are in.” Solas smiled sadly, patting her back as she continued to cough out bits of fruit. 

**_“Water.”_ **

“Here.”

“Thank you.” 

Solas leaned back into the pillows, searching for her hand with his own. 

“Did you tell?”

“No.” 

“So she’s married to him now?”

“For a while, and then they were separated.. several years actually, and then now they’ve just had their second wedding.”

Ellana climbed further onto his chest to meet his eyes. 

“So that night..”

“She called me after this huge argument and asked me if I wanted to have dinner. I remember I was trying to distance myself from you, so I said yes, hoping I would still feel something for her. When she ended up back in the house, all I could think about was how much I wanted to go to your room and ask you about your day.” 

Ellana looked away, laying on his shoulder. 

“Is that why she was angry with you?”

“She was angry because I had a sketch of you on my table..” 

“Ah.”

Ellana pulled away, returning to her side of the bed. 

“My love? Have I upset you?” Solas crawls over to her before offering his arms. 

“I guess I just never considered that you’ve dated in the past.” 

“Unfortunately you’re not my first, although if you were, you’d think I was horrible.” Solas pressed his lips against her temple. “ Now I have the experience to make you very happy on my first try.” 

“But why did she run away after seeing a sketch of me?” 

“I don’t know, it was just a regular sketch of you, not an explicit one. I’m not sure why she would be upset about that.”

“Weird. I guess she just assumed you were with someone else and did not reject her dinner invite?”

“I don’t know either. Whatever it is, that’s her problem, not mine.” 

Ellana let out a breath. 

“What we had is history, I think when we broke up you probably weren’t even born yet.” Solas laughed, massaging her scalp gently. 

“Okay, so that makes you.. at least twice my age.”

“Do you really want to know?”

“I want to guess.”

“Alright.. go on.”

“Forty three.”

Solas remains silent. 

“Forty?”

“Nope.”

“FIFTY?”

“Andraste no. I have way too many face products to look that old.”

Ellana growls before sinking her teeth into his forearm where he held her. 

“Forty five.”

“And we have a winner.” Solas sighs. 

_“Okay so we did actual illegal things,_ I’m so sorry I made you complicit.” Ellana gasped, turning around to pat his face. 

“You can see why I was trying very hard to stay away!” Solas growls before nibbling on her shoulder.

Ellana returns to her spoon position. 

“Okay, so - ground rules.”

“Yes.” Solas clears his throat, tangling her legs with his. 

“We don’t leave together, we’re never seen in public together, I stop answering questions in class, you stop calling on me.”

“We eat in my office if you want to do meals together, when I tell you to meet me at ‘the place’ it’s the fountain behind the performing arts theatre.”

“Sounds simple enough. Wait I change my mind I want you to drive me to school. Just let me out a few blocks before and I can walk in.”

“Works for me.” Solas stretches, scratching his head. 

“So we’re actually doing this. I’m living here now?”

“If it is your wish, I always have a place for you here.”

“I have no clothes to wear to Professor Tethras’ class!” Ellana gasps, shooting upright before running to gather her clothes from the previous evening which were now folded neatly on the bathroom counter. 

“Wardrobe.” Solas pointed, not looking up from his phone as he checked his missed messages. 

Trotting to the closet, Ellana pulls out a random black garment bag. Pulling the zip down, she realises it was a pink tulle dress with ribbons on the shoulder straps. 

“Aww this is too cute.” Ellana sighed, twirling around the room with it. 

“Check the black box on the floor for under things.”

“Lace..” Ellana pulled out a black number with the tags still attached. 

“Do you like them?”

“Okay these are too expensive. Seriously, I’m afraid to know the prices..”

“Get used to it, I’m about to majorly spoil you. I’m very good at apple polishing.” 

Ellana grins, pulling her new clothes together over her. Watching a very naked Solas make his way to the bathroom, she follows behind, settling on the bench in the bathroom. Solas jumps into the shower briefly before exiting with a towel, his head looking even shinier than before. 

“Do you shave it or is it naturally like that?” Ellana chirped, her legs dangling over the seat as she finished the pear she started on earlier. 

“I shave my head.”

“Why?”

“I don’t like sweating, or feeling like I’m sweaty.” 

“Hmm..”

“What’s your schedule today? I have a tutorial at 9.30am, then I’m breaking for lunch at around 12, then I’m back in class at 2pm.”

“I have Storyboarding at 9.30, then I’m free after lunch, I need to finish the readings for your class at 2.”

“Excellent. I apologise for taking up most of your evening. I’ve already sent you the pdf on your phone so you can briefly read them during lunch. Raincoat for Varric’s class, remember that.” 

“That sounds suspicious as heck, you’re not going to tell me why?”

“Don’t. Talk. About. Lyrium.”

“Okay I won’t I won’t! I actually think I have internal damage after last night, I might want to take it easy today.”

“I apologise if I have hurt you.” Solas pulls her up from her seat, taking her bridal style back to the bed before he picks out his outfit for the day. 

“I have bruises on my neck.. Are you going to apologise for those?”

“No, I’m marking my territory. No one will have you.” Solas grins, pulling on his waistcoat. Slipping into the shoes from the previous day, Solas checks his buttons in the mirror. 

“ Woah, you have a painting by FH?” Ellana exclaimed, pointing at the painting hung beside the desk. Ellana returned to struggling with yet another pair of new shoes from the stock pile in the wardrobe. 

Solas turned to move towards her on the bed. “I.. Yes.”

“Do you like his works?”

“I would like to think so..” He raised his eyebrows, helping her with the buckle of the velvet kitten heels. 

_ “DO YOU KNOW HIM?”  _

“Wh.. what?”

“It’s like super difficult to get his art work isn’t it?! Doesn’t that mean you have like a personal connection or something?!” 

“Want to know a secret?”

“Tell, tell!” Ellana shuffled onto his lap before placing a huge kiss on his cheek. 

_ “Secretly? I painted those.” _

“OH! You forged his painting?!” 

Solas sighed. _“Sure.”_

“Cool.. “ She winks, walking down the steps and almost tripping on a ball of angry meowing fluff. 

_“We must feed Corypheus.”_ Solas says in a solemn tone. “Or he will devour my paints.”

Ellana awws, pulling the ball of fluff into her arms before watching it hiss at her in anger. “Awww, he hates me. That’s adorable.”

"He hates everyone, he wants to destroy everything because he is made from pure evil and goblin dust." Solas took the opportunity to reach for her waist, stroking the small of her back adoringly. 

“Good kitty.” Ellana coos, settling it down on the ground before it scampers away. 

“Are you still hungry?” Solas reaches the bottom of the stairs first, gathering the cat bowls by the stairwell and heading into the kitchen to replace the food. 

“Me or the cat?”

“You.”

“I’m alright, I’ll grab a sandwich before heading into class.”

“Don’t fill up before class, trust me. Wait for lunch. I’ll be in my office.”

Ellana jumps onto the countertop, sitting beside him. 

“So are we dating now?”

“No, we’re attached. Rather permanently.” Solas smiles gently, pulling her in for a kiss. 

“Yes Professor..” She pouts, swaying from side to side.

“You’re doing it again, you’re being a tease.” 

“So, I guess I have to break up with Cullen now huh..”

“I assumed you had already done so, I will not make you a dishonest woman!” Solas exclaims with sarcasm. “ No really, just arrange a face to face, it will hurt less that way.”

“That’s the worst advice, it will hurt just as much.”

“And I’ll be here to kiss it all better, you know that.” Solas fills his thermos with coffee before putting it into his bag by the counter along with some laptop wires. Pulling out his wallet from his bag, Solas rifles through it carefully. 

“I’ll arrange something for tomorrow..”

“Here.” Solas slides over a matt black card with his name on it. 

“What’s this?”

“Spending limit is 2k per day.” Solas pulls her closer to him once more, unable to keep himself from trying to tuck her under his chin. 

“Solas.. “ She sighed, trying to push it back into his pocket. “No this is too much, I can’t - “

“You can.” He insists, pulling it from her hand and into her pocket. “It’s yours. Please, I have no one else I want more to spend on..” 

“No.. I won’t use it.”

“That’s up to you, I just want you to have it just in case. In case you see something lovely in the window, or you see something delicious on a menu.. or if you wanted to go somewhere..” Solas strokes her hair several times before pulling her chin up to look at him. “Daddy’s going to take good care of you now. Alright?”

“Okay.” Ellana nods, laying on his chest. 

“Good.” He coos, carrying his bag over his shoulder and scooping her off the counter in his arms once more. “Varric does role-plays on his first class, and you won’t need your laptop in my class, so all you need is to go pick up your raincoat from the grocery store when I drop you off at the Emerald building alright? Do you have your phone and your credit card?”

“Yes, pocket.”

“Good.” Solas grins, carrying her to the garage and placing her in the passenger seat. “I love you so much.”

Ellana smiles back, blinking as the car pulls out into the brightness of the driveway. 

“I will be expecting some.. affections during lunch.” Ellana runs her hands up and down the length of his thigh as he drives. “ Is that alright?”

“Of course, I find it impossible to say no to you, it would be a travesty to deny you of your desire.”  Solas sighs, a lovestruck expression glazing over his eyes. 

“What’s that ring you always wear?” Ellana points at his hand on the steering wheel.

“This? It’s my family crest.” 

“Oh, a wolf?”

“Mmmhmm..”

Ellana reaches for his hand. “I want to wear it.”

“I’ll have one made just for you, but I think your fingers are way too small, it might fall off.”

“Oh..” Ellana looked back out the window, withdrawing her hand from his. 

“But… you can have this..” Solas pulls a necklace with a single garnet crystal pendant out from under his shirt before unclasping it easily from his neck. 

“What is it? Oh - it’s cold..” Ellana smiles as she feels it drape over her chest. 

“It’s the Guild token I received when I was accepted.. You will get your own someday, but this means that I have chosen to nominate you as my candidate for consideration in the Guild. The other professors won’t get the wrong idea and nominate you again by accident.”

“Do you always give your pendant to your nominee?”

“Nope, usually we send out an email but I’m feeling possessive at the moment. You will be the only and last person I give my possessions to."

“Won’t it be.. conspicuous?”

“I am keen on ensuring no one else takes my mentee under their wing.” Solas purses his lips before taking her hand in his once more. “Professors often fight over who they are sending because the student will then represent them in the upcoming challenges, and since I’m so certain you’re going to be accepted, I’m making my decision months ahead of submission deadlines to throw everyone else off their game. The standing of the professor is affected by their nominee.”

“Wait.. so if I somehow mess up that will reflect badly on you?!”

“You won’t mess up. _Please,_ that word does not even exist in your vocabulary because I’ve seen your work and I think you are the most promising student I’ve ever.. _will ever.._ teach.” Solas flashes a grin at her before he hardened his gaze. “You’re my chosen fighter now.” 

“Oh..” Ellana toyed with the garnet pendant, his name carved into it with a Serif typeface. “Your confidence is appreciated, although I’m quite afraid regardless. I’m not too sure how all of this works yet.”

“You have to take a series of aptitude tests, followed by a final round of written tests and interviews before you are accepted. Once accepted you are privy to all sorts of connections within the arts world. Most of them will be unreachable by mortal standards.” Solas explains, making a left turn uphill. 

“Is that how you know FH?”

_ “I told you, he’s me.” _

“Ahahaha, _sure,_ you can graffitti, don’t make me laugh!” Ellana doubles back in laughter before booping his nose. 

“Sure, laugh it up.” Solas rolls his eyes, looking for a secluded space behind the far side of the field. “This is you, once you grab your raincoat, the way to the building is just two right turns and then you go up the stairs when you see the administration desk. If you get lost, call me.”

Ellana pouts, crossing her arms. 

“I don’t want to be away from you.” She sighs, reaching for him once more. 

“I know, my love, and I don’t want to be far from you too, but this is the best case scenario. I’ll be there at lunch, and then you’re having my class for the rest of the day, and then we can head home and I can pleasure you until you fall asleep again. “ 

“And also lunch?”

“Definitely. Now wear my pendant proudly, you’re the first officially nominated candidate for the Guild for this academic year.” 

“Do you nominate one person every year?”

“If you’re worried you won’t always be my favourite, I just want you to know that I don’t always nominate a student, which is what makes it all the more significant when I do.”

“What if you find another favourite?” Ellana sighs, taking his hand. 

“Well, I already have a favourite. I can only have one favourite can’t I? If you want to remain my favourite, you must spend my money and let me make you happy every day and tell me when you want something or need something. This is the only way to remain my favourite.” Solas winks. “ That is the deal.”

“I like the deal.” Ellana shuts her eyes, pressing one last kiss on his lips. “I’ll be at your office at lunch.”

“Ellana?”

“Hmm?”

_ “If.. Mythal.. sees you or finds you or wants to talk to you..” _

“Mmhmm?” She glances back just before she shuts the door. 

“You can do as you wish of course, but my advice is maybe don’t mention that we’re attached. Maybe just.. ignore her or don't respond to her at all..”

“Yea I know, I’m not getting you in trouble.” Ellana looks around to check that the carpark is truly vacant before cheekily pulling up her skirt. “I might have lost my panties again.. “

“Ellana! Behave, we’re in public!” He chides, his grin wide across his face, “I hope you don’t flash at everyone you like..”

“Just you. I enjoy scrambling your thoughts.” 

“Lunch. I must.. remedy your situation with private tuition.” Solas blows her a kiss before watching her slam the door shut and walk in the direction of the grocery store. 


	23. regal

She was there when he returned from his morning class. Draped across his couch, she filed her nails absentmindedly. Lifting to admire them occasionally, she blew the remainder of her nail dust into the air. 

Blonde locks falling over her back in elegant waves, Mythal was every bit of the beauty he remembered. Her ice cold eyes, her pink glossy lips. She remained silent, watching him place his laptop back on the table before clearing his throat with his arms folded across his chest.  Mythal's black floor length dress opened in the front, revealing her long legs and feet sheathed in a pair of expensive leather boots. Her garnet pendant hung from her neck, various rings and cuffs across one of her ears. Long eyelashes fluttered as she turned her gaze to Solas. 

_**“What.”**_ Solas barked, his eyes looking at his shoes. 

“No pleasantries?” She stood to move towards him, hopping to sit next to him on the table. 

Solas turned to glare at her before shoving her off the table. That spot was reserved for his beloved Ellana. 

“The last time we met, you said you never wanted to see me again.” Solas hissed, his scowl burning into his face almost permanently now, tensing as he moved away from Mythal to sit back on the couch Ellana was napping on the day prior. 

“That all changed when _Ellana Lavellan_ walked into my campus with your Guild token on her neck. Something you want to tell me, pet?” 

_“Your campus? Please. I pull all the weight here.”_ Solas laughed sarcastically before his eyes turned cold. 

“Sure, if that’s what you wish to think. Regardless, your new pet is stirring up all sorts of chatter.”

Solas turned to push her nail file off his table, leaving it on the floor with a clink. _“If you’re getting to anything that resembles a point?”_

“My point,” Mythal purrs, moving to sit beside him on the couch before leaning on his shoulder, “ _is that you win_. I understand the point you’re making, you got to her first.”

Solas remained silent, unsure of what she meant by ‘first’. Did she know they were in a relationship? Thoughts and scenarios ran through his mind with panic, racing as fast as light. 

“So?” He replied in a whisper, moving her away from his shoulder with a shake.

“ Are you seriously asking me that? _You knew all this time and you kept it from me?”_ Mythal hissed, raising a hand to strike him before he grabbed her by the wrist and shoved her a distance away.Solas felt a fire burning deep in his throat, she had lost her privilege to strike him when she betrayed him. 

“I nominated her for her exceptional portfolio.”

“Of course you would say that. _Of course you would be proud._ You were always worried about your legacy.” Mythal laughed, eyes closed as her voice rang in the room. “Just so you know, I have equal claim to her since I did majority of the work.”

Solas sat frozen in place, completely confused as to what was happening. He was not about to give away the fact that he had zero idea what was happening because he was planning to do some digging of his own later on. What exactly did Mythal think he knew? 

“You have nothing to say for yourself?” She sighed, folding her arms as well.

“I have nothing to say to you.” 

Mythal smiled, almost proud. Her eyes clouding over with some sort of affectionate expression, she turned to look at Solas once more. “For what it’s worth, she’s become an exceptional young lady. Her projects have depth, context and a whole lot of technical skill. I understand why Vivienne sided you when you wanted to offer her that scholarship.”

Solas threw her a glance before continuing to ignore her. 

“Well of course, that has something to do with the equally exceptional lineage she has. I can’t say I’m very surprised she ended up here with us. It’s no wonder you would track her down like that. Even I was tempted at first, but I resisted it because I thought there was a better way.”

Mythal circled around to stand before Solas, her face close to his as she reached for his cheek, tracing his jawline with a single finger before tracing his nose bridge to the tip of his nose. 

Catching her wrist once more, Solas gripped it tightly before letting go. “You owe your career to me keeping my mouth shut.”

“Of course, I recognise that. You must surely also recognise the strategic advantages I have given you in exchange for your silence. Your last painting wasn't even that good, perhaps that's why you elected to burn it. I sold it regardless because I'm good and I wore a low cut top one time.”

“I have earned everything I have now with my own effort, I owe you nothing.”

“When did we become like this? _You used to worship me.”_ Mythal sighed, leaning to place her forehead on his. 

“I stopped when I realised you were no Goddess.” Solas growled, pushing her shoulders to move her away from him. 

“And yet that realisation will never take away the knowledge or feeling that you will always want me. _Some version of me.._ As evident with your new pet. She’s so young too, I think I was that age when we were together. Ellana.. What a common name. I would have named my daughter something more regal. I wonder who named her that, such a common name for such an exceptional girl. She doesn’t even realise it..” 

Solas’ mind ran with conclusions. He wondered if she was implying what he thought she was implying, remaining stoic and silent as she monologued. 

_“Did you tell her? I’m assuming you didn’t.”_ Mythal continued. “Elgar’nan doesn’t know either. I suppose I can trust you to keep your mouth shut.” 

Solas frowned. He had told her about the fact that he was FH multiple times and she does not seem to believe him. Solas wasn't about to tell her about the fact that he had been unable to keep anything from her ever since she first smiled at him. If Mythal was worried that Ellana would want a cut of profit to keep quiet about his identity, then that was also folly as Solas was spending majority of his profits on her regardless. 

“Why are you still here? You’ve made your point. Get out. Consider me warned.”

“Fine. I intend to have my own chat with her at some point as well. You mustn’t deny me of her, you really mustn’t.” Mythal hopped off the table before he could come up with a response, reaching for the door. Turning one last time, Mythal grins. 

“I bet you want her to call you Daddy.” Laughing hysterically, she wipes a tear from her eyes. “You enjoyed when I did that. Doesn’t it hurt to have something in the palm of your hand only to have me take it away?” 

_**“GET. OUT.”** _Solas shouts, throwing a paper weight in the form of an owl at her just as the beep of the digital latch door sounded.

Swinging open, Ellana stood by the doorknob surprised at the fact that someone was exiting. The same eyes from two years ago.. 

Mythal stopped before her, bending slightly to reach her eye level as she examined Ellana’s features. Reaching a hand forth, she guides a stand of hair behind her ear, trailing a finger down her jaw and chin and eventually petting her nose. _“Uncanny.”_ She smiles, almost beaming as she let out a sigh. 

“Congratulations on your nomination. We look forward to seeing you do great things.” Mythal exclaims warmly before turning away, her smile fading. 

Ellana stopped breathing, her eyes widening as she backed away. 

“Ms Lavellan, do you have my paper ready?” Solas barked, assuming Mythal was still within earshot. “I will only make you an exception this once do you hear me?!” He waved her into the room. 

Ellana shuffled past Mythal who strutted away after flashing her a smile. The smile left her feeling unsure of herself and doubting her eyes. “I’m sorry Professor.. I won’t do it again.” 

“What was that?”

_“Come here! Come here now.”_ Solas commanded, pulling her into his arms quickly. _“Mine. All mine.”_

Ellana meowed into his arms unexpectedly at his sudden actions, dropping her damp raincoat into the trash next to where he stood. Solas stroked her back with urgency, sniffing her hair and humming softly. 

“Are you alright?”

“Don’t go to her. She can’t expel you for not responding to an email.”

“Expel?! What are you talking about?”

“She’s the Academic Coordinator in the Arts and Social Sciences faculty.”

_ “And you fail to mention this earlier?”  _

“I’m sorry, but please, promise me you won’t find yourself in a room alone with that woman. You don’t know what she’s capable of.” Solas trembled, tightening his embrace around her as though she would disappear forever. 

_**“Promise me!”** _Solas shouted, shaking her fragile frame. 

“I promise, I promise you.” Ellana replied in a hushed whisper. “I won’t be alone with her.”

“Good. Not without me around. If she wants to see you, tell me and I’ll accompany you.” Solas kissed her temple over and over, draping his jacket over her shoulders. 

Ellana frowned, pulling away before she sat before him. Toying with her new necklace, Ellana reached up to hold his hand. 

“Turns out I really did need the raincoat.”

“Told you.”

“Did he do the whole speech about his process?”

“Yep.” 

“Next class, he’s going to make you come up with an imaginary friend and then interact with them.” Solas explains, making a face of disapproval. He didn’t know how to feel about Ellana now. Mythal had just implied that either she knew about Ellana being in a relationship with him or that he liked her and wanted to make a move on her, and somehow also implying that she was also attracted to her? Feeling deeply confused and distressed, Solas shut his eyes as he tried to clear his mind of all these guesses. Mythal was clearly implying something, although he was unsure of what that was. 

“You’re not okay.”

“My head hurts.” Solas sighs, rubbing his forehead. “I need to cancel tutorial this afternoon.”

“How can I help?”

“Hand me the phone, I need to send out an email.” Solas shook his head, feeling nauseous as he sat down. “Hold on.”

Within moments, Ellana’s phone beeped with an incoming email CCed to the entire class from Solas' email.  Ellana shut her phone and returned it to her pocket. 

“What would you like to do this afternoon then, do you want to go home and take a nap?”

Solas shook his head with his eyes shut, groaning in pain.

“Do you want me to come with?”

“Yes.” Solas whimpered, reaching to put her in his arms once more. “Always. If I leave you alone, Mythal will get to you.”

“Are you afraid of her?”

“No. She does this whole.. trust me, don’t trust me.. routine. Mind games are just not my style.” 

Ellana pressed her lips over his softly, feeling his tongue against hers. “I’m sorry she’s in your head.”

“I want you in my head. Distract me please. Tell me how I can make you happy. Would you like to go shopping again? Do you want to stay home and binge eat ice cream? Do you want to go to a gallery? A library? How about we drive away for the night and stay somewhere in Ferelden? Name something.”

“I want to read that document on the assessment criteria of projects presented for funding, and then finish my report early, and then get extra credit.”

“I can spend some time tutoring you, but I don’t think I can handle an entire class at the moment. That Ameridan sure asks lots of questions.”

Ellana smiled gently, placing her head on his chest and listening to his heartbeat. 

“I’ll see you in an hour.”

“No, I’m driving you. We can say you’re just bringing some papers to my place if you carry a box.” Solas searches for his stack of unmarked papers, handing the smaller box to Ellana. 

“Ah, let’s do that instead. I’m not keen on the shuttle bus here. So many stares this morning when I walked in. I even got to cut in line when I was at the bookstore and groceries.”

“That’s the special treatment kicking in. Enjoy it.” Solas pets her hair gently, reaching for the car keys on his desk. 


	24. a scene

This was a designed, coordinated, well thought out plan. Her heels clicked loud as it interrupted his lecture, making her way down the darkened theatre whilst fifty pairs of eyes fixated on her. 

_“Professor,_ I would like to borrow Ellana for a moment.” Mythal cleared her throat, batting her eyelashes in a pleasant manner. 

Solas froze, removing his microphone clip from his jacket and meeting her in the middle of the stairs, his hand clawed into Ellana’s seat. 

“Then you can come back in an hour and collect her.” Solas smiled politely in return, his tone even and authoritative as he stood blocking Mythal from coming any closer. 

Ellana exchanged a look with Dagna, who has now taken to inviting her to sit with her group of friends, whispering amongst themselves. Ellana fought the urge to reach out to hold his hand where it was on her seat, but settled instead for silence. Solas threw a glance at her, one of utter anger and instinct. 

“I’ll wait for your lecture to end, it’s been a while since I’ve attended one of these.” 

“Certainly I won’t waste your time on something unrelated to your field, you are a _Sciences_ major are you not?”

“Well, there’s no time better to learn.” Mythal retorts, settling in the seat behind Ellana. _“I’ll take notes, promise.”_

Solas let out a deep sigh, seething through his teeth. “What is this matter regarding?” 

“Oh, just some of her tuition grant did not make it through the system and we need to sort out some administrative matters.”

“In that case I shall deal with Vivienne directly, I’m certain I made the relevant transactions in advance.” Solas countered, pulling her up by the arm from her seat. _“Certainly there’s no need to trouble you with petty affairs such as these.”_

“Solas. _Back down.”_ Mythal ordered in hushed tones. “You don’t want to make a scene.”

_“Too. Bad._ You made a scene the moment you decided to crash my lecture.”

The students began to either speculate what was happening or started playing with their devices, either way the volume of the theatre grew slightly. 

Mythal looked around the room with a smile, turning back to Solas once more. _“Ellana, come here.”_ She grinned at Solas sweetly before holding tightly to her wrist and pulling her to stand. 

Solas almost hissed, prying her hand away from Ellana’s wrist before easing her back into her seat.Turning to the class, he replaces his microphone clip. 

“Class is dismissed for today, we will do a makeup lesson sometime towards Friday.” He announces, watching his students stand gradually and disperse out the doors, murmuring amongst themselves. Dagna threw Ellana a look that in girl language meant _‘you must text me about this later’_ before she filed out of the aisle in the other direction with her group. 

_“Shall we?”_ Solas smiled, helping Ellana up by her elbow. 

_“Oh you’re not invited.”_ Mythal smiled, her voice sweet like fresh fruit bursting under foot in high summer. _“It’s just the girls.”_ Pulling Ellana over to her side, she guides her out of the room. Ellana panicked, throwing Solas a look as he followed behind with a scowl. 

_**“Let go of her.”** _He growled, pulling Ellana from her before positioning himself between them. 

Is this what having two parents around feels like?

“Erm.. Hey guys?” Ellana really didn’t want to pull this card, but she wasn’t sure there was any other way out of it. Being caught between the man she loves and the woman he used to love was too much for her. _“I don’t feel so well..”_

The two ceased their bickering. 

Mythal turned to look at her, hands running across her arms. _“Sweetie, are you alright? How are you feeling?”_ Her voice of contempt suddenly turned almost maternal. “Did you eat this morning? Maybe you didn’t sleep well? Describe your symptoms.” 

All the conflict between them seemed to melt away in that instant. Solas looked up at Ellana, his hand on her back. “Do you want to go to the sick bay?” 

“No, I just need a minute. _I - can't breathe..“_ Ellana gags violently, covering her mouth to prevent herself from throwing up. “Nope. **_Nope nope nope nope.”_** She shuts her eyes, breathing slowly as she rocked herself from side to side. 

Mythal shot Solas a glance before shedding her sweater. “You’re going to be okay. Let’s just.. sit down alright?” 

“Okay.” She managed, feeling the warm cashmere around her shoulders. 

Solas moves to sit beside Ellana, strategically blocking the entrance of the lecture hall. Her heart rate increased, her palms became cold and stiff, and every molecule of her senses was hyperaware. The low static sound of the projector, the lights, the cold air. Everything prickled her brain. 

Mythal wrapped her arms over Ellana gently. 

“Breathe.” She instructed. “Name five things you can see.” She glanced at Solas briefly, her eyes conveying that he should probably go and switch off the awful static sounds. Solas rolled his eyes, running down to fetch his laptop and power down the system. He returned swiftly. 

“I can see the chairs. I can see the tables, and the cups on the table. I can see a phone under one of the desks. I can see your shoes, they’re really pretty. I can see the lights above swinging slightly.” 

“Good, breathe in.. and out.” Mythal continued, rocking her slowly. _“You’re having a panic attack.”_

Ellana looked up at her, noticing how her eyes have the blue speckles as well, just like her own. 

“I’ve never had that before. My brain hurts.” Ellana managed, taking irregular deep breathes. 

“Name four things you can hear.” Mythal prompted once more, her eyes following as Solas inched to sit closer to them. 

“I can hear the air conditioning units, I can hear the echo of my voice, I can hear my breathing, I can hear the projector buzzing..” Ellana continued, her eyes shut tightly as she focused on slowly her heart rate. 

_“You’re safe.”_ Solas whispered, a hand reaching to stroke her back. 

“Yeah, you're safe right here, everything is going to be alright. There's no where else you need to be right now, and all you have to do is just be present in the moment. _I get panic attacks too.”_ Mythal explained, “ I remember Solas was there for the first few, it was bad, but you’re lucky he knows what to do if you have another one of these in his class. I’ll probably send out a faculty notice for teachers to be more aware of the student’s mental conditions.” 

Ellana looks up to meet her eyes. Her lashes sweeping and long, her brow arched elegantly, even her freckles seemed perfect. Ellana blinked up at her, unsure of how to react to this piece of information other than imagine Solas comforting her. She felt a certain jealousy bubble up. Everything from her hair, to her wardrobe, to her nails seemed to be put together. She was like the person Ellana wanted to be when she grew up. 

“Oh, context, right. Context is I used to be in a relationship with your Professor. That ended long long ago, and I'm married to someone else now. That’s our little secret now, I hope you will keep it between us..” Mythal wiped Ellana’s tear from her porcelain cheek away with her sleeve, watching it stain the fabric. 

“Does it ever go away?” Ellana panted, almost on the brink of tears. 

“Solas? No. _Solas never goes away._ He’s harder to get rid of than venereal disease. The panic attacks? It gets better, but you need to manage it.. I’m so sorry.” Mythal replies softly, her embrace gentle as she stroked the top of her head. “Are you feeling better?”

“A little.”

Solas scoffs. _“Did you just call me a venereal disease?”_

“Hush now, _I call you whatever I want to call you._ We can have our chat another day, I don’t want to stress you any further.” She replies, running her manicured fingers down Ellana's dark brunette hair to smooth out the tangles. 

“I’ll be there when that happens.” Solas adds, his hand firm on Ellana’s back. 

“I’m not going to hurt her, Solas. I just - wanted to get to know her a little better. You’ve had your chance already, will you deny me of mine?” Mythal smiled sadly, already beginning to braid Ellana’s hair back from her face, securing it with a crystal beaded hair tie. 

Solas remained silent, his eyes fixated on Ellana’s features. 

“Solas? Did you put her in student housing or is she staying with you?” Mythal sighed, easing Ellana’s head against her shoulder. 

“Student housing, why?”

Mythal made a gagging noise before continuing. “Why on Thedas would you put her in student housing? I thought you could afford to accommodate her when you said that you’d be providing her with a scholarship. Well, I don’t want to leave her alone for the day if she experiences another panic attack, it would be quite scary to be alone when that happens. If you can’t take her, I will. We have several spare bedrooms, and a dog. Elgar’nan is away for business for the next week, so he won’t be around to see her - ”

“- I can accommodate her.” Solas answers almost too eagerly. 

“Ellana? Are you alright if you stay with Professor Felassan for the rest of the day? Or do you want to stay with me? Do you have friends to stay with? Should we call Deshanna?” 

“I can probably get more work done if I’m around S- _Prof..”_ Ellana replies softly, still looking away from her and wondering how much exactly Mythal knew about her. 

“Alright. Solas, please make sure she is fed and watered alright?” 

“Of course.” 

Mythal releases her arms from Ellana’s shoulders, easing to sit a distance away from her. “I’m going to arrange for you to receive counselling. I’ll drop you an email and you can indicate which slots are good for you, and we can sort that out alright? Everything will be okay. “ 

Ellana removes the warm cashmere sweater from her shoulders, feeling the coldness prickling her skin into goosebumps once more. Mythal shot glare at Solas, who immediately removes his own jacket to place over her shoulders. 

“Is this your last class for today?” Mythal continued. 

“I have Typography after 4pm, but I think it’s an online tutorial today.” 

“Alright, if you have your laptop you can still do that class, but if you’re really not feeling well, might I suggest ice cream and copious amounts of online shopping.” Mythal smiles up at her once more, stroking her cheek. 

“I’ll see how I feel.” 

“Sure. Solas, take her out from the back, don’t let too many students see you walking her out with your jacket and into your car, it’s bad for image.” 

“And you can refrain from causing a scene in my lecture.”

“Really? Are we still on that? _Okay fine. I won’t do it again.”_

Pulling Ellana up to stand, Solas laces his arm around her waist for stability, making their way to the back entrance of the lecture theatre. He seemed to be uninterested in hiding the fact that there was something happening between the two of them. This uncharacteristic candour and openness around Mythal seemed to permeate the room. Ellana felt almost sad when she had to leave. 

“Ellana?” Mythal calls out once she reaches the bottom of the steps. 

Ellana turns to look up at the figure standing backlit on the steps. 

“It was really nice to meet you..” She continued, turning to go back up from where she descended. 


	25. tin boxes, more of them

“Will you be alright?” Solas coos, watching her in the bathtub engulfed in bubbles. 

“I think so. Are you going back to school?”

“Yep. I have another tutorial, then I need to do a consult with Cole, then I’m back home.”

Ellana wades closer to him in the massive bathtub,remembering what they did in it just several days ago. 

“She’s so pretty.” Ellana sighs. “I can see why you like her.”

“Liked. Past tense. No amount of pretty on the outside can make up for the gaping hole that is her lack of principle and morals.” Solas shuts his eyes, reaching for her hand in the water. “I did not mean for you to be pulled into this.”

“It’s weird that she switches between anger and concern so easily.”

“That’s because she’s a sociopath, both emotions are false, which makes them easy to switch. Don’t even consider for a second that she cares for anything. “

Ellana tangles her fingers with his, pulling them to her neck. 

“What’s Elgar’nan like?” 

Solas looks at her once more, pressing a kiss on her forehead. 

“He was one of my lecturers, he was in Chemical Engineering. I did Material Sciences. Mythal was always his favourite, although Mythal was everyone’s favourite. She was hard working, studious, generous, and very charismatic. I always considered Elgar’nan to be rather.. old school.”

“Meaning?”

“Meaning he was _slightly misogynistic._ He sometimes referred to women as the lesser ones.. or weaker ones.. Of course Mythal proved him wrong.” 

“How?”

“Well, from what I gathered she tied him up and he enjoyed it greatly, and that was that.” 

“I’m sorry for prying.”

“Don’t be sorry.”

“Is that why you..”

“- no. I am motivated solely by what you are inclined to, not because I have some fetishised idea of how I should be around you. I kneel before you in wonder, in adoration, and in praise, because it makes you happy when I do.”

_ “It makes me very happy, yes.” _

“Then I’ll continue.” Solas withdraws his hand, wiping it dry on a nearby towel. “I’ll go now, but when I come home, maybe I’ll take you someplace further for dinner. We could also do whatever it is that you want to do, maybe you have suggestions?”

“I’ll text if I do have something..”

_ “My guess is you’re going to spend the next few hours prying through my things aren’t you?” _

“No…..” Ellana receded further into the water, bubbles forming near her nose. 

“Help yourself, I have nothing to hide. Don’t lock the cat in a room accidentally. Don’t open the door for anyone and don’t talk to strangers. Don’t pick up the phone.” Solas instructed. “Most of all, do not.. I repeat do not.. play with fire.”

_ “I’m not ten.”  _

“I’m just making sure. See you soon.” Solas stands, pressing a kiss over her lips before exiting. 

Ellana could hear his footsteps going down the stairs until they disappeared, the engine of his sports car revving before it drives far away. 

After a particularly long soak, Ellana drains the bathtub before proceeding to steal one of his dress shirts to wear. Hair in a towel, Ellana sought to explore what was actually in her wardrobe. She opened all the garment bags, hanging all the dresses up in colour order. Amongst the boxes she discovered several interesting items. 

In the two years she was away from Solas, he had amassed a collection of various accessories, shoes, jewelry, apparel and art items for her. Most of the items were north of $500, Ellana squealed when she realised just how much was in that closet. Some items she found included:

  * Five pairs of shoes in various different velvets, all extremely comfortable 
  * Twenty dresses that all had pockets, all of them were name brands
  * Seven handbags of various sizes, utilities and textures
  * A crystal jewelry box with earring holders, ring holders, mirrors, compartments and locks
  * Another black shoe box with just jewelry items within. Semiprecious gems, antiques, fabric chokers, gloves, rings, earrings, watches. All the items were individually packed and catalogued with the dates he purchased them as well as the receipts for them with the return dates underlined
  * A drawer filled with various coloured shirts, long sleeved tops, button up tops, different collared tops, and sweaters
  * A drawer of various unopened long socks, knee length socks, stockings, ankle socks, 
  * Box of beautiful bespoke paintbrushes in sable fur
  * Collection of Antique blades. She was unsure if they were for her or not, but she decided to remove the smallest one to keep in her purse.
  * Lingerie of various shapes and colours. Some were two piece, some were corsetry, some were add on pieces, some had straps one might require an engineering degree to figure out..



Ellana organised them into more visible and accessible compartments before shutting the wardrobe. 

She flitted around the master bedroom, looking at all the drawers and the cabinets. She found a copy of his diary from when he was younger. She looked away, almost afraid to open it. There was also various portfolios, sketches, scrapbooks, notes, all tucked away neatly and arranged by year. No one can deny that Solas was an excellent curator of interesting items. 

She noticed a black cat had settled on the bed at some point, watching her as she rustled through the items. Ellana briefly got distracted and started to play with the cat who prompted hissed and ran away. 

Ellana had never been in his home office before. The windows let in plenty of light, the books stacked high, ceiling to ceiling. Ellana carefully wandered in, shutting the door after making sure the cat was not in the room. She noticed a cabinet with tin boxes. 

Opening one, she braced herself for what she would find. 

Sketches.. of her. 

One was of Mythal reading a book, of her finding flowers in her dorm, of her putting makeup on by the window. 

The words behind them were scratched out rather violently, covered over with ink. The ink bled into the surrounding papers, all of which had their notes scratched out. Towards the inside of the box, sketches were torn up, some were burnt. 

Ellana tried to piece them together, barely making out what it looked like before. One was of Mythal twirling in a dress. Another was of her in a corset. 

Putting the box away, Ellana felt a pang of jealousy spread through her mind. If not for the 4 meter tall painting of her in the living room, she might have felt more jealous. A painting certainly takes more time to make than a sketch. 

Another tin box, letters in furled aged parchment. Ellana palmed through the names. 

Halward, Zevran, Mythal, Michel..

She lifted the envelope to pry through its contents. 

“Congratulations!

The sale of your first painting, clearly we need to come up with some protocols on how we’re going to keep everyone from finding out its you. Generating buzz and demand is the next step. I’ll continue to deal with the buyers, you just keep doing what you want to do.

Mythal.”

—

“Dear Solas, 

I heard Prof talking about wanting one of the pieces today at lunch, I figured I would surprise him by getting him on one of the pieces, might need Zevran to counter bid to create more profit. Will you talk to him?

Mythal.”

—

“Dear Solas, 

Last night was beyond amazing, thank you so much for being patient with me. I don’t think anyone else has done that to me with their tongue before. 

Again later?”

—

Ellana gagged reflexively, putting that letter back quickly. 

—

“I’m in over my head. I’m sorry for hurting you. Please forgive me. “

—

Although that letter wasn’t not signed, Ellana still recognised the handwriting. She sat back in his chair, riffling through the letters. 

— 

“Dear Solas, 

Words cannot begin to describe how much I want to tell you and how much I want to apologise. I feel great pain that I have caused you hurt. You are a wonderful person, but I was never made to be your equal. We knew this from the beginning. Being with Elgar’nan, he has shown me great things, and afforded me opportunities no one else could have given me. Between a career and a family, I would choose my freedom anytime. 

I’m certain you will find someone who deserves your love more than I do, and that you will someday be very happy with that person. 

M. “

—

“Dear Solas, 

Included is an invite to my wedding, I would be happy if you could be there. 

M. “

—

Ellana looks away, just realising that she had begun to tear up herself. She wasn’t sure if she felt sad for Solas, or for Mythal, or for herself. She returns the box to its place. 


	26. the witch and her broom

The sound system in the house can only be described as incredible. Ellana felt the bass in her bones as she danced around the room in her new dress. 

“I’m on fire, can you see me burning up?” Ellana sings loudly and unabashed with the track, “ I am reckless for your love, I’m more than a shadow dancing free, I know that you see me more clearly.” 

Solas sits by the steps, watching her twirl and dance like a flower falling to the ground from its branch. He only wishes he was there to catch it and keep it safe forever. Noticing that he was watching her, Ellana stops abruptly, sitting on the couch with her arms akimbo and her lips pouted. 

“Spy.” She spat, tapping her feet. 

“Admirer.” Solas counters, making his way down to sit by her side as he wraps his arms around her. “You were frolicking, I should have announced my presence, I’m sorry.” 

Ellana pouted even more, turning away from him. 

“I’m sorry for spying, you were too cute.”

“I don’t want to be cute.” 

Ellana pries his arms away from her unsuccessfully as he tackles her onto the couch. 

The past few days were strange. He was quiet around her, almost as though he was avoiding her. They had gotten into a comfortable routine of separating their paths so as to avoid suspicion. 

“My heart, you seem unhappy.” He observed, playing with her hair as she lay in his arms. “What’s wrong?”

“You’ve been avoiding me.”

“No, you’ve been acting strange around me. I’m avoiding you because you seem to flinch every time I touch you. I assume it’s because you saw something in the house that you have doubts or questions about.” Solas inferred smoothly, pulling her to sit by his side. 

“I received my invite yesterday to have lunch with your ex. How am I supposed to feel about that?” Ellana sighs, hanging her head. 

“Don’t go. Or go. Or maybe don’t go.” Solas returns to his previous insistence. “I told you, you don’t know what she’s capable of.” 

“She didn’t seem so bad, she even braided my hair.” 

Solas rolled his eyes. “That’s just her witchcraft working on you. Don’t be an idiot like me. She’s not a good person.” 

Ellana turned to face him. 

“I want to go. Alone. I want to get to know her.”

“If it is your wish..” Solas shuts his eyes, trying to repress painful memories, “Fine.” 

“What will I wear?”

“It doesn’t matter, she will probably criticise whatever you wear. What matters is the confidence you wear it with. ” 

Ellana pouted once more. “Is she trying to size me up?”

“Is this youth slang you are using or am I not understanding something here?” 

Now it was Ellana’s turn to roll her eyes. “Youth.. Slang? No, I just feel like she wants to check me out or something.” 

“Whatever she wants, I suggest you get it over with quickly and leave.” 

“Okay because she’s picking me up in like an - “

The doorbell sounds through the room, almost in a foreboding way. 

“Of course she’s early.” Solas sighs, pulling her up to her feet before reaching for the door. 

“Ahh, look at you! So pretty. Twirl for me!” She cheers, taking Ellana’s hand like as though they were best friends already, spinning her around till her dress flew. 

_“Right? So pretty.”_ Ellana grinned. 

“We match!” Mythal continues, showing her the similarly floral waistcoat she had over her shoulders. “Come come, we shan’t be late. _I’ll return you to Daddy shortly.”_ She coos. 

Ellana's eyes widened at the reference, her heart fluttering at the possibility that Mythal might have caught wind of what they were doing right under everyone's noses. Meanwhile, Solas seethes in his place, unhappy with the fact that Mythal seemed to be rather insistent on turning everything good he had in his life bad. 

“I’ll return her in abit.” Mythal winks, ushering Ellana towards her car. _“ That’s how shared custody works.”_

“Share cus- _Mythal what do you think is happening here?”_

“You know exactly what is happening.” Mythal replies with a large grin. 

**_“I REALLY DON’T THOUGH! SHE DOESN'T BELIEVE I'M FEN'HAREL! ”_** He yells after her as her car leaves the driveway, the house alone once more with a lonely professor with questions in his mind. 


	27. Equals

The desserts looked like works of art. Tea filled in transparent crystal teacups trimmed with gold, gold leaving on the cakes and tarts, a table filled with everything from pies, to cakes, to caramels. Mythal sprinkled a teaspoon of sugar into her cup before adding in the milk, swirling it with a delicate teaspoon. The private suite they were in equally decked out in Orlesian decorum, even the chairs were gold trimmed. 

“So.” Mythal begins, “ Now that you’ve told me about you.. do you have some questions about me?”

“I do.” Ellana looked down at her cake, slicing off the tip and placing it in her lips before continuing. 

“Go on..” Mythal smiled, her eyes softening as she ladled chocolate sauce over her spoon. 

“Why me?” Ellana frowned, chewing slowly. “Why this interested in me? I assume you do not take just anyone out to tea.”

“Why you? Goodness child, has Solas been keeping you under a rock?” Mythal shook her head, slapping her forehead in desperation. “No, I don’t just take anyone out to tea. But you aren’t just anyone, are you?” 

“I’m not sure I understand what you mean.”

“Your Professor is one of the strictest, most disciplined, and most well trained artist I’ve ever met. And you’ve managed to win his eye in less than a month. First nominee of this academic year, and certainly first nominee since the last person he mentored ten years ago. Tell me, how do you do it?” 

“You know how.” Ellana smiled back, her eyes hardened despite her smile. “He stayed with us briefly when he was transitioning into the current job. He also keeps claiming to be Fen’Harel.”

“He is.. Fen’Harel.”

“No he isn’t..” Ellana laughed, almost rolling back in her chair. “He’s totally not though right, you’re messing with me.”

Mythal blinked, her grin static. “Yeah.. I’m messing.. with.. you.. sure.”

“He can’t be. It’s not his style right?”

“His style changes all the time, I can’t even keep track anymore.” Mythal rolls her eyes, dabbing her lips with a pink embroidered hanky. 

“I remembered you from long ago, I was so worried for you, I thought he had hit you or something otherwise you wouldn’t have been so angry..”

Mythal shut her eyes for a moment before opening them once more. “Not my finest moments, I’ll admit. Solas would never hit me. Not him..” She trails off, raising a hand up to touch her cheek but stopping herself halfway. 

“For what it’s worth, my first impression of you was that you were beautiful.” Ellana continued with the same level of candour as before. 

“Beautiful.” Mythal scoffs. “My child, beautiful will get you to some places. Brains will get you all the places. Remember that.” Reaching to distribute the tarts into her plate, Mythal shot her a look of approval. “I like you.” 

Ellana’s head turned to her. 

“You’re just like him, you know that? From years ago.” Mythal smiled, reaching over to squeeze her hand. “But we both know you’ll surpass him soon.” 

“Surpass him?”

“Of course, you weren’t made to be his equal.”

Those words rang in her mind, from the letters she wrote, the words that cut him so deeply. She wondered who said those words to Mythal first, such that it was imprinted in her mind. 

“No, I wasn’t.”

“See? That’s why I like you. So spirited, so strong.” Mythal continues, finishing her second cup of tea. 

“Am I going to be your equal?” Ellana challenged, her tone respectful but her words stark. 

Mythal smiled even wider, offering her the plate of caviar with a spoon. “My equal? My darling, you’ll surpass me too. Such is every parent’s wish.” 

She looked back at her plate. All this decadence, all this luxury, all because of Solas. 

“Deshanna didn’t even want me to go to Art School.”

“Is she still writing?”

“Yes, she is. How’d you know that?”

Mythal looked away sheepishly before looking back at her. “She’s sort of my ex.. as well.” 

Ellana’s jaw dropped. “Wait. You dated Deshanna.” 

Winking, Mythal petted her hair and adjusted the curls on her shoulders. “I loved her very much, but she did not wish to be tied down, I let her go.. That blue convertible? I bought it for her as a present. She still drives it right? I have good taste, I know. ”

Her mind raced with thoughts she couldn’t slow down enough to understand. 

“Wait. So you’re like.. badass.” Ellana laughed, “You’re accomplished, you’ve got your situation situated, you’re like really pretty, you’re really good at braids.. what can’t you do?” 

That struck a cord with Mythal. Becoming silent, she stared into the windows for several moments. Her eyes shut once more, almost as though she was trying to stop a tear from coming out. 

“You’re right..” She whispered, “What can’t I do? What can’t I have?” She reached for Ellana’s hand once more, holding it more tenderly this time. 

“I’m going to head to the restroom, I must refresh my complexion.” Ellana stands politely before hopping off in the direction of the wash closet. 

Mythal’s smile dissipates quickly, looking around to check for servers, she darts out to take one of Ellana’s spoons, placing it into a plastic zip lock bag quickly before stuffing it into her purse. She calls for the bill, to which a waiter comes over and collects her card. 

Shortly after, Ellana returns to her seat once more. 

“I’ve just gotten the bill.”

“Thank you so much for lunch, I had a lot of fun.”

The server returns with the receipt, one that Mythal quickly grabs before Ellana could see the amount she had spent. 

“You know what, I had fun too. It’s nice to spend time with you. I understand why Solas is keeping you all to himself.” 

“He’s.. something.”

“Can I tell you a secret? I feel like I can trust you. I’m going to tell you the secret.” 

“Of course, I can keep a secret.” 

It took Mythal several moments before she recollected herself, as though she was about to say something important. Shaking her head, she decided against it before opening her eyes again. 

“Okay. Here it comes. Wait no. I’m going to need a moment.” She gulps. “Okay. Complete honesty. Complete honesty. Here it comes.” 

Ellana waited patiently, reaching for her hand once more. 

“I’ve never told anybody this. Ever.” Mythal begins, leaning closer to Ellana. “I left Solas because.. I.. was with child. And I wasn’t sure if it was his.. or my current husband’s.. basically I went missing for the good part of a year because I felt like I would be judged. Unmarried woman? Raising a child? How dare she be so independent?” 

Ellana listened intently, nodding and holding onto her hands tightly. “I see.. were you afraid?”

“I was very afraid.. and alone.. and I felt like I couldn’t tell anyone because somehow a woman who wants a career is painted as almost inhuman. How dare we want freedom? How dare we want power? What nonsense. I couldn’t choose between the two.. so I decided not to choose at all.” 

“Did you ever tell Professor?”

“No. And I expect you not to as well.. although I suspect he has already.. figured that part out himself..” Mythal stroked her arm gently. 

“I won’t tell him, I promise. Pinky promise.” Ellana held out her pinky, which Mythal took willingly before stamping her thumb.

“Good."

Ellana’s heart went out to her in that moment, the truth she spoke was one every modern woman had contemplated or faced. 

“Look, if you want to stay home and be a wife, that does not make you any less than a woman who elects to have a career, or even both a mother and a boss. I’m saying that a woman’s choice is never up for judgement, it never makes her less than. Do you hear what I’m saying? We are more than. We are strong regardless of how feminine, or how masculine, or how powerful, or how meek, or whatever label men wish to put on us that we may seem. If we don’t stand up for one another, no one will.”

Mythal’s eyes spoke with conviction. She held onto Ellana’s hand tightly as she spoke her truth, freeing her of artifice. 

“Wow.. so true, exactly what I was thinking.” Ellana answered in agreement, her smile returning. “May I ask what happened to your.. child?” 

Mythal held her gaze for a moment, a warm smile spreading over her features. “I’m trying to figure that part out too.. Story for another time, hmm?” She blinked. 

“Are they.. he? She? alright?” 

Mythal grinned wider. 

“ _She’s magnificent. I couldn’t be prouder._ ” 


	28. Blind

The restaurant he chose was minimalist, post modern and exceptionally pretentious, such was his style. Looking at his watch he felt a tension clutching his neck. Deshanna was always late. 

“I’m here!” Deshanna waved from the counter before the servers let her into the seat. 

“Ah, finally. How are you doing?”

“Good, yourself?” Deshanna smiled warmly, putting her various paper bags on the floor next to her and removing her cashmere sweater. “Is Ellana doing well?” 

“Please, order anything you would like.” Solas pushes the menu at her. “Ellana is well taken care of, and she is doing really good in all her classes.” 

Deshanna nods repeatedly as she listens, palming through the glossy pages of the menu before making her order. 

Solas leans back in his seat, cocking his head to the side as his smile disappears. The thought of Mythal turning Ellana against him is killing him, making him burn on the inside. Regardless, he was having a lunch of his own to try and figure out exactly what she was hiding from him. 

“So. What did you want to chat about?”

“Ellana.” Solas replies curtly. “It’s not about her schooling, she’s doing great. I promise she’s my star student.” 

“Oh?” Deshanna’s smile grew smaller. “What about her?” 

“I understand you dated Mythal after I did, yes?”

“That part was always abundantly clear.”

“May I ask how long it lasted?” Solas folds his hands under his chin, leaning forwards. 

Deshanna looked around the room before answering the question. “Why?” She countered, reaching for her glass of sparkling water before placing it down once more, leaving a wet stain on the coaster. 

“No reason, just curious..” Solas replies. 

“A year.. maybe more?” Deshanna frowned, recounting her timeline. “We broke up because she wanted to settle down and I didn’t.”

Solas looked away, distracted. “Why did she want to settle down?” 

Deshanna looked at her palms, blinking before looking to Solas once more. “Why are you asking all these questions all of a sudden? I’m sensing that you’re trying to get something out of me, I’m just not sure what.”

“Why did you choose to foster?” Solas pressed, tilting his head to the other side. “Mythal is hiding something from me. I don’t know how it is linked to Ellana. She’s taken a sudden interest.” 

Deshanna smiles softly, knowingly, before looking back up again. 

“Maybe that’s a conversation you need to have with her, not me.” 

“She won’t tell me anything though, she hates me.” Solas counters quickly, smiling at the waiters who brought him more wine. Taking a sip, he returns to his conversation. 

“Solas, she doesn’t hate you. I don’t know why you would think that.” Deshanna shakes her head, taking the first bite of her salad after mixing it thoroughly. 

“Deshanna. Who is Ellana?”

“My daughter. She’s my daughter, you know that.” Deshanna insists, smiling. “What an odd question to ask.” 

“Yes but she’s your foster daughter.”

“That does not make it any less real. I love her like my own.” Arms crossed, Deshanna taps her feet impatiently. “For all intents and purposes, she’s my daughter.” 

“So you don’t know anything about her parentage, at all?” 

Deshanna lets out a sigh, blinking in disbelief. “How are you so blind?” 

“I beg your pardon?”

“You asked to stay with me. I assume you knew.. Clearly you do not, which is why this conversation ends here.” Deshanna stands, finishing her salad and placing a Fifty sovereign note on the table. “Talk to Mythal.” 

“I asked to stay because I was relocating Halward’s boy away from the awful, toxic environment he was in. Dorian was settled into the school, and then my transfer to the university was approved, I had no other reasons to stay with you other than convenience.” 

“And Ellana.”

“Eventually, yes.” Solas admits. “She’s very talented.”

Deshanna nods, her eyes boring holes into the table. “So she really didn’t tell you. She said she would. Clearly she lied about that too.” 

“She keeps implying the most ridiculous thing.. I just.. Deshanna please. I need some answers, I’m going crazy. I need to know. Please.. what is she hiding?” 

Finishing her glass of water, Deshanna wets her hands with the condensation on the glass before wiping her hands dry once more. “ If she has yet to tell you, then it’s definitely not my place to do so. This whole thing is between the three of you, I really want nothing to do with it except for the happiness of my daughter.” 

“Deshanna-“

“- Talk. To. Mythal.” Deshanna smiles before standing. “Thank you for lunch, please send Ellana all my love.” 

Solas lets out a frustrated groan, Deshanna was clearly intent on keeping Mythal’s secrets for her. 

Checking his phone, he notices Ellana had sent him seventy images of her in various outfits, along with cakes and ice creams and tea. Solas remembered taking Mythal to the Tea Room on their first date, it was an odd place to take Ellana to. They even sat at the same table. Mythal clearly has decided to take her shopping. There were several incoming images which are still loading, along with maybe five videos of her twirling around with shopping bags hanging from her elbows. 

His phone buzzed in his hand, causing him to almost drop it. 

“What?”

“I’ve returned the girl to your residences, I wanted to let you know she was safe.”

“Thank you.” 

There was a pause between them.

“Where are you?” Mythal probes. 

“How is this any of your business?” Solas hisses, almost annoyed. 

“It isn’t, I was just curious.” 

Solas sighs, “I’m at the library.”

“Liar.”

“Takes one to know one.” Solas spat back. 

Another pause, Solas could hear her breathing on the other side. 

“Solas. Can we please, just put all this behind us? It’s been years. I can’t hold onto this anymore.” 

“Everything you touch turns black. I gave you my heart and you ripped it out of my chest. Holding on? I’ve moved on, with pain. And now you’re back again. I steered clear of you for two years, and now you’re here again. Two years in the same campus. You didn’t so much as bat me an eyelash, look in my direction, and now you’re in my life again. I didn’t do this. You did.” 

Mythal remained silent, almost sniffling on the other side of the phone. 

“Cry, see if I care.” Solas growls, hanging up the phone. Standing to leave after paying the bill, his phone rings again. 

“Solas. Please don’t hang up.” Mythal begs from the other side. “Please, I’m sorry. For all the pain I’ve caused, I’m sorry.” 

Solas remained silent, car keys in the ignition. “What do you want? Tell me what to do so that I’ll never have to deal with you again.”

“I don’t have anyone else to call. I’m in the hospital.”

Solas lets out a long sigh. “Which one?” He replies immediately, revving up his car. 

“I’m at Frostback United.” 

“I’m two minutes away. Stay put.” He hangs up the call, car racing towards the hospital. 

—

The antiseptic scent penetrated the air. Running from the carpark, Solas trots towards the reception area for the Emergency Room. There she was, sitting in one of the plastic chairs. Her eyes red, her hair messed, welts in her cheekbones and her jaw. 

Solas lets out a pained groan, wondering what happened to her. 

Tearful eyes darted up at him, Mythal wiped the tears from her eyes. Standing before her, the man who used to love her. 

“Who did this?”

“It doesn’t matter, okay? None of this matters. I’m just waiting for my medication now.”

“Who.” Solas growls, anger bubbling within. 

“Elgar’nan.” Mythal whispers. 

Shutting his eyes, he leans back to place his head on the walls of the hospital. “How long.” 

Mythal lets out a sarcastic laugh. “Always.”

“All this for your career?”

Mythal turns to look to him, words escaping her clenched teeth like a mantra. “I should be grateful.” 

“I can’t believe it, you chose an abusive misogynist over someone who actually wants to make you happy.”

“We both know you weren’t going anywhere with your career, there’s nothing you can offer me that I don’t already have.” Mythal shuts her half swollen eye, blinking painfully. The corner of her forehead still stained with blood, she swallows her tears. 

“Of course.” Solas nods, his eyes low on his shoes. “You don’t need him anymore, why do you still stay with him?” 

“This may be hard to understand, because you’re standing on the outside, but I love him. I genuinely love him.”

“Uh huh. Sure.” Solas nods sarcastically, looking away from her. “This is what we call captive adaptation? When you learn to love the thing that’s bad for you? This is some trauma working in strange ways.. You need help, Mythal.”

“No, I really love him. I’ve never loved someone so much before. He just gets angry sometimes, especially when I miscarriage.”

Solas stills, looking over to her. “You.. are you alright?” 

“Yea, just today actually.” She laughed through her tears. “I was bringing Ellana back to your place, and then I suddenly got my period. Ellana even took care of me, she offered me some painkillers, and then I went back home and then.. this happens.”

“Mythal.. you have to know that this is a problem right? Tell me you know that this is wrong?” Solas insists, leaning forwards to examine her injuries. 

“I know, I know. I want so badly.. to be a mother. So badly.” Mythal lies. “I just.. he only wants sons. Two years ago, remember when I called you? It was a girl.. and he.. got angry with me.. and then I called you because I was scared. And also because he made me.. remove.. my unborn.. child.” Her eyes brim with tears, she cleared her throat and wiped her eyes. 

“Yes, so scared you had to follow me home, to your other ex’s house.. whom I live with.. make out with me, and then leave abruptly for no damn reason, tearing open a wound I wanted to leave alone.. not strange at all.” Solas connects the dots for her. “I didn’t even know it was THIS Deshanna you dated, I was quite shocked to find out when I saw that car of hers had your name on the registry.” 

Solas shook his head, all of this made so much more sense to him now. “And now that I’m mentoring someone, you feel that you’re missing out which is why you want to barge in?” 

“Yes. I just want what you have with her. She respects you, she does everything you say, I wish I had a mentor like me when I was her age.. I just want to have someone to take care of. For all my academic and professional successes, I’m not very good at being domestic. I guess I felt like I could related to her, I see so much of me in her. So ambitious.. such a bright spark. She gives me hope.”

“Domestic is not your strong suit, that’s correct. Actually Ellana has many suggestions that I take, most of the time I’m rethinking how I do things because of something she said or something she suggested.”

“It’s not my fault you are spineless, Solas.” 

“Spineless?!” He gasps, “No, but she is something else. She’s special.” 

“Ellana is a lovely girl, so polite, so smart.” Mythal smiles. “I took her shopping.”

“You took her to the Tea Room.” Solas cocked his eyebrow, observing that Mythal almost raised her hand to hold his arm but withdrew quickly. 

“She likes it. She wolfed it all down, goodness she’s so skinny do you feed her?” 

“She does wolf it all down, I’m not sure where it all goes.” Solas smiles, glancing at Mythal. Solas was about to talk about how he took her out for barbecue but held his tongue. It was easy to share things with Mythal, though in this case oversharing would land him in hot water. 

The counter beeps with her call number. Mythal makes her way to the counter to collect her medication before heading back to stand before Solas. 

“She doesn’t believe you’re Fen’Harel!” Mythal laughs, “I told her directly and she didn’t believe me!” 

“Oh, we’ve been through this a couple of times too. She’s.. dense about it.”

“Must be from your side. Possibly. Or Elgar’nan’s.. but she’s more similar to you than him. Either way, definitely not my side.”

Solas pauses, his mind short circuiting suddenly as he put the pieces together finally. “ **What did you just say?”**

Mythal’s smile grows smaller. “Soo..” She drawls, “We.. need to talk.” 


	29. Fire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my, what did Mythal say to him?

It was so easy to love Ellana Lavellan. She was his perfect blend of beauty meets brain; spoilt but not stroppy, eccentric and highly intellectual. He could even say that he had in fact met his match, not an easy feat considering her tender age. 

Ellana finished her look with a light dusting of setting powder. Her hair coiffed perfectly, a corset shielding her petite figure. Stockings up to her thighs were clipped with a lace garter belt that would drive any man jealous. She even selected a pair of shoes that could be removed easily. 

Shopping bags lay neatly in the corner after she unpacked them piece by piece. Dresses, hats, gloves, Mythal had taken her to all her favourite boutiques. Her hair freshly cut and curled, her fingers polished and painted. She admired her reflection in the mirror, feeling brave about her decision to wait for her beloved in this Lacey number this evening, completely oblivious to the conversation he was having at this very moment. 

Several more hours to kill..

Ellana pulled a dressing gown over her corset before settling on the couch next to the cat, petting it absentmindedly. The cat didn’t seem to mind for a while, but disappeared after the hundredth time she decided to brush it. She could hear the clock ticking away, staring at the painting of her hung upon his mantel. 

The goddess in the painting smiled back at her; superior, glorious and beauteous. Every freckle replicated, every dimple exact. Solas was indeed a skilled artist. She began to toy with the idea that he could be the elusive FH indeed. Dismissing the thought quickly, she began lighting candles all over the house. 

It was earlier than she had anticipated, his car pulling in the driveway. He had left her a quick message about heading out to meet a friend, and to expect him home by dinner, but she had not expected to be hours ahead. The lean sports car pulls into the garage, its lights dimming. She could hear his car door open and shut. He was walking towards her now. 

Ellana drapes herself alluringly across his couch, the scent of flowers in the room, the lights dimmed, her eyeliner drawn so sharp it could cut. 

The door opens. 

His shirt half buttoned, his eyes red, he looked like a complete mess. She let out a squeak, she had never seen him this disheveled before. 

“Ellana..” He gasps, his lips curved. It seemed appropriate, his sound system buzzing low with the music Ellana had put on. 

When it’s time, it’s time it’s time.

It won’t matter.

It won’t matter. 

Ellana gave him a quizzical look, waiting for his reaction. 

“Solas.” She whispered, crossing and uncrossing her legs before kneeling on the couch. 

He approaches, kneeling before her on the floor. “You torment me so, Ellana Lavellan. You are an enigma, perhaps one I never want to solve.” He smiles, his eyes following hers as he reaches for her hand, pressing an urgent kiss upon her knuckles. 

“What do you mean?” She purrs back in return, caressing his face with the side of her glossy new heels. 

He shuts his eyes, intoxicated by the sight of her. Remaining silent, he removes her shoes from her stocking clad feet, crawling over her form before pressing a line of kisses against her neck. 

“Solas, what’s wrong?” She pressed, wiping the tears which have begun falling from his eyes once more. 

He shook his head, silencing her with his lips. “Hush.” He insists, cradling her face in his arms. “My love, let me enjoy you once more.” 

“I don’t understand..” Ellana said anxiously. “Solas, what’s happened?” 

Solas shook his head once more, wiping away his tears on his sleeve. 

“Nothing, my love, it’s nothing you need to worry about.” He answers, his voice strained and dripping with desire. “Everything is going to be alright.” He repeats. 

“Then why have you been crying?” Ellana probes, wrapping her legs around his waist as he carries her around the room, rocking her gently. 

“Because I love you, so much, more than you can imagine.” He answers vaguely, heading towards the bedroom. 

“Mythal brought me shopping today.” 

“Hush, don’t say her name. Never say her name again. Do you understand me? Never.” He whispers against her ear with a kiss, placing her on the bed carefully. 

“Alright.” She answers obediently. Parting her legs slightly, she lowers Solas to kneel before her by pressing him down with her foot on his shoulder. He kneels willingly, eagerly, his eyes on fire. 

He inches forwards on his knees, massaging each of her stocking clad feet thoroughly before moving up her ankles. 

“You are my altar, do you know that?” He continues, “Where I bare my soul, where I share my joys, where I seek the light of your presence. I do it so willingly, so easily. Do you know this, my love?” 

“I do.” She answers, feeling his hands massage the knots in her ankles, now moving onto her knees. 

“I fall on your rosy thorns for a taste of your lethal bliss.” He continues, his eyes watering further. “Undeservingly, I receive your grace.” A shiver travels down his spine, awakening his arousal. 

Ellana arched into his touch, feeling her own pleasure mounting. 

“Solas. Come here.” She orders, pulling herself further onto the bed. 

He follows, his hound-like obedience driving his mind. “Have you been loyal?” Ellana asks, her voice sweet as she strokes his brow when he lays in her lap, looking up at her. 

“I have. I will always be loyal.” He answers quickly, without pause. “Always.” 

Unexpectedly, Ellana strikes him lightly across his cheek, turning his head. 

“Thank you, my Queen, I have kept you waiting this evening, I deserve this.” He groans, kissing the hand that she used to slap him. 

“There’s something you’re not telling me.” Ellana insists, her hands tight on his neck. “Tell. Me.” 

Solas averts his gaze, focusing on simply licking off each of her fingertips. 

“Solas, are you ignoring me?” 

“I can’t tell you. Yet.” Solas responds, sitting up to face her. “Please, Vhenan, I promise I will tell you when it becomes relevant. Do you trust me?”

Ellana considered for a moment. “Yes, I trust that you will tell me things when relevant.” 

“Good.” He nodded. “You look heavenly in this outfit, I can’t help but wonder if this corset might be restraining you, perhaps I may assist in removing it?” 

“It’s not uncomfortable.” Ellana raises an eyebrow, feeling the soreness begin to develop in her ribs. 

“It’s not comfortable either, am I right?” He continues for her. “Please, allow me.” He crawls to kneel between her legs, his fingers carefully undoing each front button on the panels. 

Ellana took the chance to observe him. His shirt unbuttoned, his trousers crinkled as though he had been sitting on the ground. His eyes swollen, but that sad smile hung around his lips like the plague. 

“Solas.” She commands, “ Shirt. Trousers.” 

He looks up for a moment, freeing her from the corset and adjusting her back so he could slip it off from underneath her. He rolls it up neatly and places it aside, noticing that she had yet another layer under the corset. A lace demicup bra that left her erect nipples ready for the taking. 

“Sublime.” He whispers, removing his buttons one by one, holding her gaze as he does so, biting the edge of his lips. Tossing them aside, he knelt before her, bare. His erect member resting on her panty clad mound, his hands stroking her calves gently. 

“How may I serve you now, my love?” He purrs, lowering his eyes once more. “Your wish, my command.” 

Ellana felt a wave of euphoria wash over her, her eyes half lidded, she pulls him closer to her body. Just as his face hovers over hers, she lets out a laugh, slipping out from between his legs to stand by the door of the bedroom, leaving him panting and desperate. 

“Catch me.” She challenged, slipping out the door. 

Solas let out a howl, feral and uncontrolled, running out the door after her. 

“Ellana!” He calls in almost pitch darkness, the house only lit by candle light. 

“Here!” She laughs, her echos seem to come from all directions. 

“Ellana!” He calls again, running room to room, trying to find her. “Ellana where are you?” He cried out, tearing up once more. “Please come back, Ellana please,” he begged. 

Another wave of laughter from her voice. The second floor. 

Solas follows after, his footsteps light and swift. 

“ _Vhenan, please_ ,” he begs once more, his erection painful as he strained. 

“Come and catch me!” She called out once more, running back up to the bedroom, slamming the door shut and locking it just as Solas makes it to the door. 

“Vhenan!” He called out, banging on the door. “Please! Open the door!”

“Who’s afraid of the big bad wolf?” She sang, he could see her footsteps on the other side of the door. 

“My love, please, let me in,” he cried out, banging on the door more desperately. He slipped onto his knees, feeling the cold marble contact his shins.

“Who’s afraid of the big bad wolf?” She sang, opening the door finally. 

Solas snaps, pulling her into his arms before slamming her onto the bed. Growling, he covers her neck with rough kisses, often nibbling before he moved to the next spot, leaving Ellana moaning and purring. 

“Behave,” she chidded. 

“Temptress.” He responded, tearing off her top and panties, leaving her only in garters and stockings. In one swift motion, he enters her. Ellana arched in pleasure, letting out a yelp of surprise. 

“Faster.” She orders, feeling him thrust deep and rough into her wetness. 

“Yes, vhenan.” He pulls her hands away from her eyes, forcing her to look into his eyes. “Look at me as I worship you.” He begs. “Can you see how I feel?”

“Yes,” Ellana smiles wide, her eyes struggling to remain open as he went faster, harder. She could feel her own climax approaching.

“Can you see what you do to me?” He asked once again, taking her lips and sealing them with his own, his tongue seeking for entrance. 

“Yes.” Ellana answers once again, hooking her legs onto his back. “Solas,” she begins, her voice shaky. 

“Yes, my love?”

“ _I_ _want Daddy to come inside today.”_ She grins, biting her lip as he administered his cock skillfully. 

Solas threw his head back, feeling a wave of pleasure crash through him, guilt following suit. Pushing him over the edge, Ellana clenched down upon him as her pleasure mounted in the same moment, attaching her lips back onto his. He convulsed, his seed spilling within her in thick ropes, dribbling out onto her thighs and stockings. 

Panting slowly, he withdraws from her, placing one more kiss over her forehead. 

“I love you.” He coos, his fingers tracing her features. “So much. Always. Forever.” 

Ellana smiles, her face radiant with the pleasure she had just experienced. She was unsure when she felt asleep, tangled in his embrace, his arms locked behind her back. 


	30. drumrolls please.

The envelope weighed heavy on her table. Mustard coloured, fraying at the edges and ominously thick. Mythal’s dress was the colour of bruised lips. Layers of gauze clung to her form, draped on the sofa in her office as she stared ahead feeling uncertain. She desperately wanted to open it. However, without a separate set of information, she felt it was premature. She crosses and uncrosses her legs, the susurrus of her dress against the carpeted floor the only sound to be heard. 

She made her preparations, her heart beating uncontrollably. Her phone rang out of the blue, startling her to almost drop what she was carrying. With unsteady hands, she brings it to her phone.

_“Anything?”_ Solas whispers with urgency. 

“The envelope is in.”

“ _Whose_ one?” He presses. 

“I don’t know. I’m waiting for the second envelope. I’ll call you when it arrives.” Mythal paces her office, remaining silent for a moment before speaking again. 

_ “I won’t open it without you.” _

“Good.” He replied coldly before hanging up. 

Meanwhile across campus, Ellana was getting ready for her first round of project submissions for mid terms. She waited in line for the printing shop, getting her documents ready, enjoying the scent of freshly printed papers bound in plastic ring. 

She grinned, she already knew she was going to ace this paper. She knew, in part because she couldn’t write a complete sentence without Solas checking in on her by the minute. He already marked it, handing in a paper at this point was simply a formality. The clicking of her heels announced her presence before she even entered the classroom. Earpiece dancing from a single ear and tapping against her new vintage sapphire earrings, she settled to sit in the front of his tutorial classroom. She watched as he lowered his phone from his ear, blinking slightly with a frown before looking up at her and flashing her a wink. 

Ellana reflected his posture where she sat wearing his jacket. The night before ended rather spectacularly around 3am, both of them extremely sleep deprived and delirious before their first cup of coffee. It is safe to say that they managed a combined eight hours of sleep in total that night. She could see the purple welts of her lips forming agains this neck, hidden barely by his turtleneck. 

He crossed his legs in his chair, waiting for the entire class to show up. 

“Five more minutes and I’m starting.” Solas announces to the classroom with roughly half filled seats. 

With the entire front row empty except for Ellana, she draped her bag and coffee hap-hazardously across the row of seats. Solas felt almost a sense of relief that no one was sitting next to her with how constant he was texting her during class itself. 

Ellana observed him typing on his phone before her pocket vibrated. 

** S. **

8.55am 

I apologise for your lack of sleep. I must admit I’m feeling quite drowsy myself. 

** YOU  **

8.55am 

Nap date later?

Solas smiled at his phone before casting her a look brimming with affection. 

** S. **

8.56am 

Of course. I can’t concentrate.. close your legs. 

Ellana narrowed her eyes, sticking her tongue out at him briefly before looking back at her phone once more. 

** YOU **

8.56am 

Or what?

** S. **

8.57am 

B+

Ellana gasped, throwing him a glare before putting her phone down on the table with a pout. Solas held her gaze for just a little bit too long, his smile floating on the edges of his lips, unnoticeable by one who was unobservant. He clears his throat before standing. 

_“Papers. Now.”_ He announces coldly, tapping the table with a pen. 

The screeching of chairs resisting the floors and a murmur of conversations flooded the classroom as the other students stood and made a beeline for the aisle. Ellana waited for several of her classmates to place their papers down before she passed the paper to Solas who took it from her hand and stuffed it into the pile. Ellana did not even bother to stand for him anymore. 

“Professor?” A voice from behind sounded. Ameridan walked forwards with a heavy sigh before placing his paper on the table. “I did not have time to complete the final segment of it, I was wondering if I was allowed to have maybe till end of today?” He asked, rolling his sleeve up to his elbows. Ellana stared at his forearms briefly, breathing evenly and observing how similar it was to Solas’ forearm. 

“You’ve had weeks. What’s your excuse?” Solas questioned, not looking up from his phone. 

“My girlfriend kind of broke up with me last night and I spent the entire night crying.” Ameridan admitted quietly. 

Solas looked up briefly, glancing at the paper in his hands. “6pm. _Go.”_ He replied, shaking his head as he watched Ameridan rush out of the classroom with his laptop. 

His phone began to buzz with an incoming call.

“Yes?” He answers quietly, moving his ear away from the class. “I see. I’ll be just a moment.” 

_“Vhe-_ Ms. Lavellan?” Solas cleared his throat as he approached her. 

Ellana blinked up at him, swaying from side to side slightly on her chair. 

“Make sure the papers are all in by 9.15am. Please place the late papers, with the exception of Ameridan’s, in a separate pile.” 

Ellana nods obediently before she stuck her earpiece back into her ear and set a timer for 9.15am.She watches as Solas marches out of the classroom with speed. 


	31. envelopes of various kinds

She wasn’t home when he arrived. No calls, no texts, no messages, not one. Her shoes weren’t at the door, it didn’t seem like she made it home at all. This was completely uncharacteristic of the hyper communicative Ellana Lavellan. 

_“Ellana? Darling?”_ He called up to the house, causing his cat to scatter from wherever it was hiding prior. 

Solas was beginning to panic. Running from room to room, he called for her frantically, his heart beating erratically. He pulled out his phone and a spare power bank, getting back on his car. The number ringed but no one picked up. 

“Pick up.. pick up please…” He chanted, on the brink of tears as he pulled put of the driveway and back in the direction of College. His eyes scanned the roads, looking out for her. 

“Andraste, if you hear me now and she picks up the phone.. I’ll worship you forever. I swear it. I’m desperate. Where is she?” He whispered under his breath, headlights high. Still no answer. He couldn’t call Deshanna, just in case she wasn’t home, and he couldn’t call Mythal because he hated her to no end. Solas was secretly glad she hadn’t picked up as he prayed, he did not wish to worship Andraste forever. 

Parking the car haphazardously, he dashes back to his office, checking for her under the table and in the cupboards. “Ellana? Come out, my heart, please..” 

Varric exits his office to see Solas’ frantic expression. Solas wondered if he had heard him calling out to her. 

_“Lavellan?_ Haven’t seen your protege, Chuckles. Did she misplace a document?” Varric teased, his laughter booming in the hallway. He returned to his coffee and texting, bumping into a pillar as he exited the slowly darkening complex. 

_ Where could that girl be? _

Solas noticed one missed call on his phone, he hated himself for not picking up earlier. Dialling back, he listened to it ring once before she picked up. 

_“Hey..”_ Ellana sounded like she had been crying, making her voice coarse. He would have to remedy that later. 

“Where are you?” 

“Do you remember when you took me to the opening concert when the design building was just done up?”

“Level 3, OmniTheatre?” 

“Yep.”

“I’m running. Stay there.” He hung up quickly, dashing through the darkened school before he finally got to his destination. Sweat dripping from his brow, breath barely consistent, he found her in her black dress, book bag on the floor as she sat looking down at the darkened auditorium only lit by the exit signs. 

“You have worried me.” He scolded, pulling her into his arms with urgency. Cradling her cheekbones in his hands, he lowered himself to kiss her passionately. _“Never. Do. That. Again.”_

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to. I just don’t know what happened to me. I ended up here somehow.”

“ _You keep this dress in school?_ I didn’t see you return home to pick it up.”

Ellana smiles sadly before looking up at his iridescent eyes. “Just in case. I leave it in your office.” 

Solas nodded knowingly as he placed her in his lap on the velvet seats. In the silence and darkness, he enjoyed the scent of her hair, the intoxicating mixture of forbidden and accessible. 

“Do you want to share with me why you’re so upset?” He rocked her gently, brushing out her tear stained braids and kissing her forehead. “You can tell me anything.”

_“The envelope came today.”_ Ellana choked, her breath hitching irregularly once more between her tears. Solas felt his blood turn to ice in his veins. Did she follow him to his office? Did she hear the conversation? 

_ Did she know? _

She pulled out a crushed ivory envelope with her name on it, pushing the balled up paper into his hand. A sigh of relief escaped through his teeth as he shut his eyes for a split second. 

Solas pulled her closer to his chest, allowing her to wipe her tears away on his shirt. He unfurled the pulped paper, pulling out a hand calligraphy wedding invitation. _“What envelope?”_ He echoed in a neutral tone, surely she didn’t know about his envelope. 

“Cullen is getting married. To Evelyn. She’s pregnant.” She managed between hyperventilating and whimpering. 

Solas remembered when he got the invite to Mythal’s wedding, shattering his heart entirely in the process. He only managed to begin piecing it back together when he realised how much he loved Ellana. He could sympathise in her reaction to this matter. 

“I don’t.. love him.. anymore.. but it still hurts.. I feel hurt.. I know I hurt him first, but I still feel.. pain..” Ellana choked, sneezing into his hanky. “Pain. Right here.” She indicated her heart with a finger. 

“Pain? Right there? Come, let me kiss it all better.” Solas offered, pressing his lips on her cleavage before travelling lower and then back up again. He could have challenged her, he could have asked her why it hurt if she never loved Cullen, but he fought that side of him relentlessly.

“It’s not working.. still hurts..” Ellana continued crying, almost throwing a tantrum at this point. 

“Here.. take mine.” Solas answered, bringing her hand up to his heart. _“Take it. It’s yours.”_

“All mine.” She parroted back with a nod, her head landing on his shoulder. 

“That’s right, my love. Do as you wish with it, if it makes you happy it’s worth it. Are you going to attend?”

“No. Maybe. I don’t know.” She wavered, her legs dangling from the side of the seat. 

“Well, you already look so beautiful, I would love to take you to dinner. Have you eaten at all today?” Solas distracted, a hand slipping under her top to cradle her breast gently before removing his hand. 

_ “No.” _

“The stars are beautiful tonight, do you want to go somewhere outdoors?”

“I just want to melt into a blob.” 

“Come now, I’ll carry you.” He offered, sliding her book bag over his shoulders and scooping her up carefully at the same time.  “Do you want to go home? I can make you some lovely stew, I’ll even feed you. It would be my absolute honour to take care of you.” 

Solas was overcompensating, the guilt he felt for keeping a secret weighing heavily on his mind. In truth, anything she named, he would give her in that moment. 

_“I would like that.”_ She mumbled into his arms, slowly falling asleep on the way back to his car. This was enough, the moment suspended between one heartbeat and the next, each filled with every drop of affection he could muster. Precious cargo in arm, he held onto her hand as he drove in the direction of home. 


	32. spoons

_“Stunning.”_ He whispered in her ear as she finished zipping up her dress. “I thought you weren’t supposed to be prettier than the bride.” Solas continued, reaching for her hand before kneeling by her feet to help her buckle her heels in. 

“You ever heard the saying that you must always look beautiful because you might meet someone you dislike?” 

“Do you dislike Cullen? Or are you trying to show him what he’s missing out on?” Solas postured, rising once more when her buckles were secured. Tying his green tie to match her green dress, Solas adjusted his trinity knot.

“I’ve always disliked Evelyn, you can’t tell but she was always quite.. _passive aggressive_ at me. I just like being the prettiest in the room.” Ellana pouted in the mirror as she laced her lips with a stark red stain. 

_“My most deadly flower,_ you do that without trying.” Solas flattered, wrapping his arms around her waist before kissing the back of her neck. “I’m actually more worried about the fact that you’re bringing me, I mean.. we’re not out yet. I’m not even sure if Deshanna has recovered from our last conversation.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“We had a small disagreement several weeks back, I suppose she’s not going to question why I have you on my arm. As long as we keep public displays of affection to a minimum, I think we can just say I’m only here because I drove you down and school is far away, so it makes sense.” 

They were a vision in the mirror, the power couple, the wolf and his halla. Ellana sighed softly in the mirror, watching him plant yet another kiss over her neck in adoration. His scent heavenly, his jawline.. _stupid gorgeous._

Iridescent eyes turned to worship her own. 

“I forget sometimes how gorgeous you are.” Ellana admits, raising a hand to trace his lip. 

“Ah, and I’ll never forget how gorgeous you are. Point to me.” Solas presses his head over hers, holding her close. “I would prefer you stay close to me, I dislike sharing you.”

“Afraid I’ll dance with someone else?”

“And be swept away? Yes. Terrified. _I don’t share.”_ He reiterated. 

“This is the first time I’ll be seeing Deshanna after a while, I’m kind of worried, I think my sister Astra is going to be there too.. I’m not sure.. she’s quite vague about her travel plans.”

“Why are you worried?” Solas grabs her clutch off the bed, rushing to hold her by the waist as she descended the stairs in the most ridiculously high heels he’s ever bought her. He would have to start carrying her halfway through the wedding, he was sure of that. 

“I don’t know, I haven’t been keeping in touch as regularly as I should, and she’s kind of my.. mother..” 

Solas sighed, shaking his head. 

“Ellana? Darling?” He called out to her as he grabbed a mid sized painting signed FH on the wrappings from the kitchen counter before following her to the garage.

Getting into the car, he pulled the car out of the driveway. His painting laying in the back seat along with her clutch, they were off. 

“You were saying?” She turned over to him, pulling a shoulder strap off her dress to expose a perfect nipple. Solas felt his trousers tighten. 

“Oh no - please don’t tease right now, no I have to get you _safely_ to a wedding, safely being the keyword.” He gulped. “Please put away your glass cutters.” He chuckled. 

Ellana laughed as she replaced her shoulder strap, pulling her panties off from under her dress before stuffing it into his pocket. She was going to misbehave regardless of what event it was. 

“I was just about to ask if you ever wonder who your real parents were.” Solas reached over to hold her hand. 

“No, not really, I went through a phase of that, but it’s not as important to me as knowing who really does love me. Deshanna. Astra. You. Josie. I think that’s important.” Ellana smiled. 

“What if I told you that I knew who your real parents were?” Solas continued, squeezing her hand gently. 

“I wouldn’t want to know.” Ellana nodded. “So if you do know.. _don’t tell me._ I don’t want to meet the people who didn’t want me for almost twenty years.” 

“Just to clarify.. I should not tell you if I know.” Solas repeated, nodding as he focused on the road ahead. 

“Don’t tell me.” Ellana confirmed. _“Just don’t tell me. I don’t want to know.”_

Ellana turned to face him where she sat by his side. “You really do know?” 

_“I have a good idea.”_ He revealed. “I’m not a hundred percent sure.” 

“I’m not even going to ask how - you - have a good idea of who they are. Whoever they are.. they’re probably horrible people to have left me.”

“That part is beyond dispute.” Solas smiled, glancing over at her with affection. _“I would like to be a hundred percent sure.”_

“Is this why you’ve been acting all shady the past week?” Ellana speculated, bringing his hand onto her thigh. 

Solas glanced at the GPS on the dashboard, making a turn onto the highway. 

Gulping, he lets out a sigh. “Yes.”

Ellana nodded slowly, stroking his hand. _“Are you worried it’s you?”_

Solas froze, his hand tightening on her thigh. _“No.”_ He lied. 

“People treat me like I’m some.. kid. I’m not.” Ellana smiled into the distance. _“You’re not.. by the way. I checked.”_ She clicks her tongue. _“We’re safe.”_

Solas pulled aside onto the road shoulder abruptly, he put the brakes on and turned to face her. 

Scrunching his eyebrows hard, he raised his hand to cover his forehead. _“Okay you need to explain this to me. Explain it to me like I’m 5.”_

“I… stole your spoon.” Ellana replied slowly, accenting with her hands on each consonance. “I.. sent it in… You’re.. not my dad.” She beamed at him. 

Solas shook his head. “Okay. When did you steal my spoon?” He frowned hard, almost hurting his face this time, holding her hands close to his chest. 

“When.. you.. moved.. in. _Three years ago.”_

“Oh. _OH.”_

“Yep.” 

“Wait, so you checked because you were, what.. afraid I’d take you away from Deshanna?”

“No, but I watch enough dramas to know that when a mysterious attractive stranger moves in, they want something from you, and that was my ‘wondering who my parents were’ phase. I checked because I had a massive crush on you and that was going to be either chalked up to biology.. in that daughters _often prefer people similar to their fathers_.. or that I was right and you were just very hot.” Ellana explained. 

“Okay.” He processed this new information, he had been tormenting himself over nothing. He trusted Ellana more than he trusted Mythal. “So it was preemptive on your part because you had a crush on me. Right.”

“Why were you checking?” Ellana responded, scratching her head. “Wait, no don’t tell me please. Knowing that we’re not related is good enough for me.”

“And you’re a hundred percent sure.. from a spoon?” Solas continued. 

“No, which is why I double checked with _something else.”_

“Ellana..” Solas warned, kissing her knuckles. “Did you.. take something else of mine?”

“ _You gave it willingly._ I recall this bit quite clearly. I’m pretty sure that’s way more definitive source than a spoon.” Ellana bit her lip, looking away as she remember the awkward experience of catching semen with a flask. Solas gagged slightly as he realised what she was referring to. It wasn't difficult to obtain, it was something he gave up freely every morning and night now.

Solas shut his eyes tightly, his head hurting now. _“I trust you.”_

Ellana nodded. “I stole Mythal’s lipstick when she was in the fitting room the other day.” 

“You did? What happened to _'don't tell me I don't want to know'?”_ Solas perked up, eyes fixated on her lips now. 

“I said you shouldn't tell me, I just want to know how much I need to avoid her going forwards. And I took a hair off her car! That should do it.” 

“Smart girl. And regardless of the results? Please feel free to distance as much as possible from that snake.” Solas nodded. “And are the results back yet?”

Ellana shook her head, putting one of his fingers in her mouth. He felt himself begin to lose focus once more. “I’ll tell you when they are though.” 

“Alright, shall we close this topic for today?”

Ellana nodded, leaning to place her forehead on his. “Just so you know.. I don’t think I would have minded if you were related to me. _Daddy? Dad? It doesn’t matter what I call you.”_

Solas blushed a deep red. “I should not have kept this from you, I’m sorry. Let’s get you to the wedding so you can be the prettiest girl in the room.” 

This was way better than a stolen spoon. 

He was left with only one question now. 

—

It never sat right with him. 

The piece of paper indicated _99% probability_ of his parentage. How could they be related? He was careful with Mythal. 

Vexed, half a bottle of whiskey down, he lit the piece of paper on fire, watching it flame out in an aluminium tin on his table. He sighed, looking at the pile of papers in his office yet to be graded. He was waiting for Ameridan to turn his paper in later that afternoon before he began. Late papers due to heartbreak was an acceptable reason for him to procrastinate marking the entire pile of papers if it meant he came off as more sympathetic. 

Ellana was ending class in roughly twenty minutes, which meant he had little time left to himself before he found himself entranced by her once more.

False positives happened all the time, and Mythal wasn’t the most reliable source when it comes to this. He had to conduct his own investigations, he already had her hair and several ice cream spoons in a plastic bag sent in for testing at one of his friend’s facilities. 

Solas laid his head back in his seat. Why would Mythal lie? What earthly reason did she have to do so? He wrote down the possibilities. With some deduction, Solas inferred that Mythal was concerned he wouldn’t share his resources with Ellana if he found out that they weren’t related because Mythal assumed that was why he was doing so in the first place.

Solas scribbled down the first point. 

Secondly, he reasoned that because of this, Mythal was not entirely certain what their relationship was beyond that, which meant if he behaved in any way that indicated to her their relationship was impure, Mythal would have her suspicions. He had to continue operating as though he believed her words. 

Lastly, Mythal was a _chemistry major_ , a skilled one at that. He could see her reasonably forge a document. It wasn’t beyond her. If anything, she had the connections to find someone who would be willing to falsify a result since she was in the industry, or she knew someone who knew a guy. 

His thoughts evaporated the moment she slammed the door open, running over to sit on his desk. Shutting his notebook, he stood to embrace her. 

_“Good class?”_ He whispered in her ear. "Come here, I've missed you. Varric's been spending more than with you, I'm getting jealous."

“I think I’m going to need a new tablet for illustrations.. I have to run soon, I need to go pick up some mail from the General Office.”

“Yes. I’ll get you one.” He promised. “Anything else? I’ll see you at dinner?”

“I want.. a _frog_. ”

“Does that answer the _dinner question_ or what you want me to get you? Either way.. no frogs.” Solas grinned, kissing the top of her head, all his troubles soon fading away. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone doing alright? I was contemplating how to reveal it, but I also have... much angst coming up soon.


	33. pockets are useful

_“When did I become so desperate? Break the mirror on my bedroom door, how much longer can I do this for?”_ Ellana sang as she exited the shower in nothing but a towel, shutting off her playlist. Hair wrapped in a towel, she noticed her partner hunched over a laptop as he sat on the edge of the bed. After an entire night of socialising, awkwardly avoiding the happy couple, and sneaking off eventually to make out in the car like some amative teenagers, Ellana was beyond exhausted.

After squeezing most of the moisture out of her hair, she threw her towel over the back of her chair to dry. Ellana makes her way to his side, leaning on his shoulder. For the most part, he ignored her, his fingers typing away with satisfying clicks. His eyebrows were knitted together seriously, his lip pursed in concentration. She recognised this face - it was his ‘don’t disturb me’ face. 

The distance between them no longer existed. Apart from the basic proprieties she pretended to have when she attended his classes, she did not care much to pretend or even ignore the fact that she knows how he looks like in his throes of pleasure, screwing her like a god. 

“Sabre Awards? What’s this?” She finally asks. 

“I nominated you to the Designer’s Guild as an apprentice, most apprentice applicants have awards in their portfolio, and you have none. Lucky for you.. I- “ He stops himself halfway, taking a breath. “It’s better not to tell you. I promise I have my reasons.” 

More secrets, such was his way. 

“Communications, branding, design, digital innovation, film and photography, health and wellness..” Ellana read the categories out loud. 

“You’re under Branding or Communications. I think it’s where you’ll do best.” He smiled, offering her a kiss. “I’m just putting your application in for you.” 

Ellana moved to locate the hairdryer by her bedside table. After applying the proper heat protectants, she turns it on and runs a comb through her hair. The white noise lasts for several minutes before Solas shuts his laptop down and places it on the work desk. 

“Done.” He announces, replacing her hand with his as he retrieves the wooden hairbrush. “Please, allow me.” 

He purred, pulling her further onto the bed as he wraps his legs around hers. “The application is an initial one, they will be requesting your portfolio and your challenge to be completed once the committee has reviewed your application.” 

Ellana sits in silence, feeling the heat of the hairdryer on her neck and scalp as he gently and very carefully ruffled her semidry locks. 

“My beauty.” He sighed, keeping the haircare implements away. “Come, rest.” 

Patting the space by his side, he dims the lights in the room. His hands find their way back onto her skin once more, cradling her breasts where he spooned her from behind. Eager hands caressed her pert nipples slowly as he suckled on her neck. 

“What’s the plan?” Ellana whispered, pulling his leg over hers in the dim light. The sheets were inexplicably comfortable, lulling her into a semi sleepy state. 

“The plan? You will win the Sabre Awards with a project that only took two months when others have taken a year, you will be one of the youngest to be accepted into the guild, you will attain glory and acclaim in the realm of design. I’m not wrong about you. I just need to.. sculpt you properly.” He reassures her with a kiss on the back of her neck where her hairline met her skin. 

“Who was the previously youngest winner?”

Solas leaned close to her ear, licking the shell of her ear. 

_“Who do you think?”_ He challenged, pulling her to face him as he brought her close to his chest. 

“Is it you?” Ellana’s voice laced with playful teasing.

Solas cocks an eyebrow as he pressed the heat of his erection onto her navel. 

“If you have to ask.. you clearly don’t know me well enough. The only way I’d relinquish my title is to you. Oh, I’d hand it to you on a silver plate. Alas, I’m not a panelist this year or I would have secured your bid.” He teased, taking her lips eagerly. 

The moments between one heartbeat and the next, in the secret confines of their bedroom, are the moments where he freely expresses the entire latitude of his affections. Exceedingly gentle and all too eagerly, his emollient voice and his carefully administer touch brought Ellana to her wits end, or as he calls it - ‘to the skies’. 

Ellana says nothing in return, allowing him to spoil her with his affections for the rest of the evening. 

————

The room was cold, a stark contrast to the warm lighting and the aesthetic furnishings. The indoor infinity waterfall, the white marble chairs carved like thrones but were really 3D printed, the amorphous projections that floated with exhibition placards. The reception area was decadent to say the least, multiple sets of cutlery indicating a several coursed meal. All the trappings of a rather pretentious and yet prideful society. Ellana walked into the large atrium with her hand looped around Solas’ elbow, his other hand gently stroking her knuckles. 

“You’re fine. You’re with me. I’m a guest of honour and I’ve requested to sit with you. By the way, Sabre awards is just one of the competitions I'm signing you up for.. It’s easy, trust me.” Solas reassured, pressing a kiss over her brow as they received their landyards.But it wasn’t easy - in fact it was one of the most stringent and rigorous awards out there, with panelists ranging from all over Thedas, the best of the best. 

Ellana adjusted her dress, another new floor length green dress to match Solas’ green velour suit jacket, matching pins of wolves on their chest. Regrettably, Ellana had elected to go commando for the evening in favour of avoiding panty lines, a decision which led to her having a very cold bottom. This decision was unsurprisingly seconded by Solas with an evil glint in his eyes. 

“Ah! Solas! I heard you’d be showing up with your lovely protege.” The familiar voice, all too sweet and all too friendly rang echoed in the large room where the reception was held for the accepted applicants and their mentors. Turning around, she sets her eyes on Mythal, like a spun gold creature beaming in crimson, a slit in her dress revealing her alabaster thigh. She approached like a huntress, champagne glass in hand as she beamed. 

“So much time with your ear on the pavement it’s a pity a truck hasn’t run over your head.” Solas replies curtly, pulling Ellana behind him warily to put some distance between them. 

Mythal ignores his comment entirely, pulling Ellana from his side into a hug as she minded her massive gemstone earrings.   
"You're wearing the necklace I bought you, gorgeous." Mythal traces Ellana's neck, toying with the gold chains sitting against her pronounced clavicles. A light dusting of highlighter over her neck made them really stand out, or what's left of it after Solas practically licked all of it off once she got dressed. 

“The husband is here too?” Solas didn’t bother smiling, prying Ellana out of Mythal’s arms as soon as he could manage. "This is just great."

"Hush, you know we're sponsors this year right? What a _coincidence."_

This was the first time Ellana saw Elgar’nan. He was tall, slender and almost just as ethereal looking as Mythal, it's no wonder they made such a power couple. For a moment, Ellana understood why Mythal chose him over Solas. He was void of all that unnecessary decadence; demure and conservatively dressed rather than having gold pour out of every pocket possible. Solas was a scholar, not a businessman.

Solas’ rage was ill-supressed and evident. She could see his jaw tensing where she stood, his hand tightening around hers as he bent his elbow behind his back, forcing Ellana behind him once more. She stroked his arm gently in calming manner, remembering that this was the man who taught him at one point; who stole the person he had loved most at the time. There were old wounds recently scabbed over and raw once more from the recent events. 

Mythal spun around, her smile radiant and plastered across her face as he took his arm. "Husband, you remember Solas, this is his protege Ellana. Ellana is one of the students in his class."

“Ah, _a student,_ not so different from me I see. She must be something special to catch your eye, _you've always had good taste in women._ " Elgar'nan's voice was deep, nuanced and had a lilt. "It’s been a while.” 

The older gentleman nodded with a polite smile, his soot coloured coat and sharp lapels cutting, his hair neatly tied behind his back. Ellana couldn’t make out how long his hair was, but she assumed it reached his mid back at least. 

“Sir.” Solas greeted. _“I’m afraid you’ll have to excuse us-“_

“-This must be her. Hello there, _Ellana._ Pretty thing you are, you’re playing to win I hope. We’re one of the sponsors of the award, we always love seeing the young ones and what they have to say about design as a whole. Fresh perspectives.. always good.” He cuts Solas off, offering his palm to Ellana. Ellana’s eyes darted up at Solas who refused to make eye contact, his body already angled to exit this particular narrative. 

“Lovely to meet you.” Ellana replied softly, placing her hand in his larger one. Elgar’nan takes it gently and brings it to his lips, barely kissing her knuckle. 

"That necklace looks exquisite on your collarbone, I must say." He winked, his smile genuine and warm as his fingers almost made contact with the beads. Ellana moved away from his touch, disguising it as a reaction to the cold room as she shivered and stood closer to Solas.

Mythal exchanged a look with Solas, eyeing the way his hand hovered at the small of her back. Ellana blinked, trying to erase her memories of the previous week's conversation in the car. Knowing that the woman before her stole a spoon and tried to maternity test herself against her, knowing that the man before her might possibly be related to her. The thought of this didn't soothe her at all, it brought up pages in her life she wanted to tear away and burn. 

“Yes, I always play to win. I’m very competitive.” Ellana smiled brightly, her eyes false with aggression as she watched Solas be reduced to his stoic default self. She noticed the ice in her veins turning frigid, for some reason she felt an uncomfortable aura from the menacing older man. His eyes were almost clouded over, the lines on his face too few for his age. Mythal watched as they interacted, her breathing artificially steady as she tensed. 

“Enough pleasantries.” Solas’ eyes were fierce, the fire behind his gaze undeniable as he yanked her once more by his side, his arm laced around her waist now. “Perhaps we shall adjourn to some dinner? We haven’t had food since breakfast.” 

“Of course, we shan’t keep you. We look forward to seeing your works.. and what you think of our topic this year. ” Elgar’nan smiled as he held onto Mythal, a casual nod and a raised eyebrow gracing his features. He watches them leave, whispering something to Mythal which left her giggling. 

Solas settled down at their assigned places near the front, he had requested to sit in a more private table. Varric’s place card sat on the porcelain plate across from them, as well as other familiar names from the arts faculty. He sighed deeply, his eyes shut as he rubbed the bridge of his nose. 

“Elgar’nan is the elvhen version of a migraine.” He finally says. “I never.. ever.. want you to be near him. He’s violent towards women.” 

“If he’s violent towards women… Mythal..” Ellana trailed off, worried for her now. 

Solas nods. “Worse.” 

“I see.” Ellana looked down at her fingers laced with his. Moving closer to him, a shiver running down her arms as she placed the tablecloth over their laps. “Cold.” She pouted. 

It was almost automatic, Solas yanks his jacket off his shoulders and places it over her shivering form without batting an eyelid. He links his fingers with hers under the tablecloth as they waited for the other guests to arrive. Pulling his hand into her pocket. He was going to find the surprise very soon.

His head snapped up, eyes widened in surprise. Gradually he turns to her, his fingers making contact with her inner thigh. She observed as he bit his lip in anticipation, eyelids fluttering as he surpressed a moan. The tips of his lips turned up slowly. She could see his ears turning red, his face flushing, the lump in his throat hitch as he swallowed hard. 

“Does that make you happy?” Ellana whispered close to his ear. 

“You.. cut a hole.. in the pocket of a 8,000 sovereign dress. You’re the only person who has managed to do that with one of my gifts.. and I’m not even mad in the slightest. What have you done to me?”He chuckled, his fingers moving slowly to where he wanted to be. Her accommodating wetness wraps around his finger, squeezing down.

“Fuck.” He hissed, eyes shutting as he inserted another finger. “Such a good girl. Squeeze for me. Good girl..” Solas whispered as he pressed a kiss over her temple. 

Noticing the other guests arriving at the same table, he pulls the tablecloth higher. Thank goodness their backs were against the wall, there were no prying eyes in this dimly lit corner, the only light from the futuristic angular candles which floated across the table. 

Ellana hunched over as he began to move his fingers across her clit, pushing her thighs open for him she lets out a soft sigh, her eyes concentrating on the starters which were just placed before them. She mutters a polite word of thank to the servers as they left. 

“Solas, I’ve heard much about you.” The man from across the table smiled, offering his right hand. With his left hand still in Ellana’s pocket, he reaches his right hand out to the man. 

“And you are?”

“Felassan. Pleased to make your acquaintance! I’m familiar with more of your.. obscure works.” He winked. 

Solas arched an eyebrow, his fingers working against Ellana’s pearl faster. She grips his wrist, trying to slow him down as she feels herself cresting. 

“And this lovely lady?” Felassan smiles politely, offering his right hand to Ellana who has her eyes shut as she tried hard to ignore the building pleasure centered around her dribbling sensitive parts. 

“Ellana!” She shouts a little too loudly as she takes his hand, shaking it politely before she returned to her previous position. 

“My more obscure works?” Solas carried on with a regular voice. It was unfair, how cavalier his demeanor, how wicked his fingers. No.. this will not do. Ellana reaches under the table to find his erection straining against the fabric of his trousers. She unzips him easily, reaching in to caress his shaft. She could see his right hand gripping his spoon too tightly, his wrist shaking slightly as she began to tease the underside of his tip. 

“Your.. murals.” Felassan leaned in and whispered. “Of the unorthodox nature.” 

Solas nods slowly, withdrawing. “I’m sure I have no idea what you’re talking about.” He shut his eyes, as if in annoyance although it was really because he was positively weeping under the table as his arousal screamed a muffled cry of need into Ellana’s skilled palm. 

“Oh! Yes.. of course.” Felassan nodded, seemingly all too excited that he was sitting next to his idol. He was nervous, chatty and almost too friendly as he revealed his teaching profession, and talked extensively about his artworks revolving around the subject of old Arlathan and social justice. Ellana's mind briefly wondered to his several confessions about being the illusive artist known only as Fen'Harel, although she was only beginning to believe him now. The thought was swiftly swept away as she watched him take a drink from his wine glass, leaning in close to her ear. 

"Moan for me, darling." He instructed as he slipped yet another finger into her wetness. 

Ellana whimpered, bringing her lips to his ear as she lets out a soft sigh. "You're killing me." She confesses as she lets out a laboured mewl. 

"Just as you killed me every time you bent over when I used to live at Deshanna's? This is revenge." He grinned, returning to his conversation with Felassan. Ellana finished the rest of his wine, she needed to be way more drunk to be able to digest the fact that she was being fingered expertly under the table during a rather serious social event whilst having a conversation.  Solas listened quietly, as he always did, and nodded and politely asked questions when they came up. She knew what he was doing, if Felassan was focused on talking, that meant Solas didn’t need to. 

Ellana could feel her wetness all over his palm, coating every finger, his continued massaging her special spot within and teasing her nub with his palm till he felt her familiar clenching and pulsing before releasing and removing his hand from her pocket, wiping her wetness on the underside of the tablecloth before he removed her hand from his trousers. 

She tugged on his sleeve, bringing his ear close to hers once more as she lets out yet another moan, watching him shut his eyes as be feigned attentiveness. She hooks her ankle with his under the table at the loss of his touch.  Ellana could see his index and middle fingers were wrinkled from her wetness. He brought them to his lips, using it as an excuse to clear the sauce from the side of his lips as he ate. Ellana had never been so happy she was ambidexterous, she could hold her spoon with both hands. 

“Here’s my namecard.” Felassan grinned widely. “Again, it’s really.. really just an honour.. to be in your presence. If there's anything i can do for you at all, collaboration.. anything. Please don't hesitate to call.” He nodded, his smile couldn’t get wider as he pushed a card across the table. Solas took it in one hand, examining it as he placed it in his pocket. 

The meal continued without incident, she could see Mythal and Elgar’nan two tables over, her eyes watching Ellana like an eagle as she waved her well manicured fingers at Ellana who was hunched over trying to conceal her several orgasms as she struggled to also eat and pay attention to the various conversations. 

Varric never showed up for dinner. 

The reception dinner was over all too soon, exhausted from her _several_ orgasms, she was grateful her dress was dark enough no one would notice the wet patch from where she sat. Solas was always an overachiever, one was never enough.. no it had to be _three_. The following segment was the briefing on the Sabre Challenge that all the applicants had to complete. Ellana was falling asleep where they sat, her head against his shoulder as he stabilised her. 

“Lean..” He whispered, stringing his arms even tighter around her back. “Shh.. I’ll take notes.” He reassured her as she dozed off in his arms wrapped in his jacket, watching his hand dance across the notepad in the darkened room where the projectors lit up the faces of the mentors and their applicants. She doesn’t register how much time has passed, drowsily rising as the lights returned to normal once the presentation briefing was over. 

Solas practically had to haul her back to the car, wobbly with her heels, his arm around her waist till they were far enough from the crowds that he could sling her into his arms completely. Solas carries her to the car, placing her in the front seat and strapping her seat belt in before he made his way to his side, sliding in and driving them home for the evening. 


	34. YIELD!

“I hate her I hate her!” Ellana growled at her laptop with five simultaneous group chats open in various tabs. 

“What troubles you, my perfection?” Solas does not look up from his desk, adjusting his glasses on the bridge of his nose as he continued to critique the most recent round of essays. 

_“I’m handling it.”_ Ellana frowned deep as she felt a rage in her heart. She didn’t want to be some keyboard warrior, all talk and no action. No, she was going to confront her. 

Solas places his pen gently back in its holder, folding his glasses back neatly before making his way to where she was situated on the couch. “My love?” He enquired softly as he peered at her laptop, his arms wrapped around her. 

Scanning quickly across her screen, he would find malicious comments and accusations (which were of course completely true) about how Ellana was the teacher’s pet and she could do no wrong, and the current group research project’s leader was refusing to delegate anything to Ellana because she was being petty. 

“You know she could never hold a candle to you, hmm?” He kissed her shoulder gently. “Her work is mediocre at best.” 

Ellana did not look up, instead choosing to shut her screen down. “I remember her talking to you on the screen once. When you lived with me.”

Solas chuckled. “ _Lived?_ You currently live with me. And yes, she.. dropped a grade because I didn’t pass her in two classes, and then she took a gap semester.. and now she’s redoing my class. She might perhaps be bitter about that, it’s not you.” 

A knock on his door, quiet and demure. Solas snuck a quick kiss against Ellana’s lips before he moved to answer the electronically locked door with his fingerprint.

“Professor, I was wondering- _Hello.. Lavellan._ ” Briala cleared her throat. “I was wondering if you might have some time to share with me what you thought of my essay for tomorrow’s submissions.”

“You can send me a draft and I will review it when I can. The outline of the thesis will do, I’ll read it in its entirety tomorrow.” Diplomatic, Solas took a step back to put some distance between himself and the wall of middle school sweet perfume currently hitting his senses. 

“I’ve already sent it in last night along with the email, I just thought if you had some time we could-“ 

“-Don’t mince your words, it’s unbecoming. Tell me what your question is and I’ll answer it right now.” Solas chides, leaning at the edge of the table. 

Briala eyed Ellana who was insinuated on his couch rather comfortably with her shoes on the floor and her feet tucked under her, spectating the entire scene. 

_“Ellana could you please leave?”_ There it was, the smile with the glare. 

“Briala could you please stop slandering me in the class group chat?”

“It’s not slander if it’s true.”

Solas interjects at this point, arms crossed with a stern expression. His glasses were back on the bridge of his nose. “Are you opposed to Ellana being my pet, or the entire idea of favouritism?”

“I’m opposed to the idea of course! The main principle remains that-“ 

“- And you would not object if _you_ were say.. my pet?” Solas growled soft, his voice low and emollient, his eyes softening as he turned on his charm. 

Ellana noticed her peer swallow before she answered. 

“I would still object. It would be unfair to the rest of us.”

“You lie.” Solas smiled, tilting his head as he closed the space between them. “I know you feel scorned because your Professor Celene Valmont has a new favourite student, and I can tell you as a Professor that all of us have a favourite student. It’s no secret Ellana is exceptional, recognised by all art department professors university wide as our leading light, in a way she is every professor’s favourite is she not?” 

Briala watches on, her eyes fixated as her wrist trembled where she held her laptop close to her chest. She had barely made it a step into his office as he paced forwards. 

Ellana grinned, slightly entertained by the whole thing. 

“Yes, but Sir, I don’t see what’s so special about her! _No offence, Lavellan_ \- “ She turned to nod at Ellana, " I’ve read her essays, they’re simply repetitions of what you have written in your thesis in the past, she writes what she thinks you enjoy reading, not entirely her true thoughts. She ignores the others and panders to all the teachers, and she’s always so last minute with her contributions. Ellana is a nightmare in group projects. Yet, I’m forced to - “

“- _Forced to_ work with her? _What a travesty!_ You have to work with the top scorer in your class! You think everyone you team with will get along with you? Do you think I _care_ for who you like and dislike? The point is that work has to be completed regardless of your personal feelings. If you ever want to succeed in any industry, you have to learn how to cooperate and manage conflict. Put them aside and grow up, make it work or don’t, I can assure you that your classmates have said the same about you. In fact, it’s because no one else wanted to work with you that she paired with you. Perhaps you should express your gratitude that it is a group score, she might just pull up your bell curve.” 

Ellana smiled back sweetly and waved her fingers. 

“Ameridan asked me to work with him first. I said no because I thought you looked lonely sitting in the back like that. I guess I can tell him that I’ll join his team now.” 

Ellana picked up her phone, shooting Ameridan a text. She was promptly added into the shared document. 

“That was fast.. I’m already in their document. Bye..” She grinned, logging back onto her cloud drive and exiting from the document she shared with Briala. 

Jaw hanging wide, Briala breathed with indignation. “You.. you!” She chortled. “You - little.. Just you wait.” She hissed. 

“I guess now your score will reflect your true capabilities - no longer _‘dragged down’_ by _‘that little short skirt wearing two faced whore’_ who is _‘fucking every professor she can get her hands on for a perfect GPA’_.” Solas quoted from memory after only glancing at her screen momentarily. "I accept your solo project. I’ll be seeing it at the same time as everyone else’s.” 

She didn’t add another word, shooting a toxic glare at Ellana before slamming the door shut. The door’s magnetic strip clicked, locking it once more.

“That was intense..” Ellana grinned wide as she ran to his side, enveloped in his arms once more. 

“Mmm, she didn’t cite her appendices in alphabetical order. She also misquoted MY PAPER twice and completely out of context. That was after I gave her the same feedback, she never listens. She was never getting an A in the first place.” Solas cooed, his fingers stroking her cheek. 

“Don’t defend me next time. I don’t want my peers to feel that way about me. Throw me to the wolves. I’ll have to face them tomorrow after people take sides..” Ellana sighed into his kiss as she tiptoed to reach his face. 

“Never. I would never throw you to the wolves.” 

“What did she write anyways?”

“Oh.. I mustn’t show you, it would be unfair.” Solas returned her kiss, bringing her into his arms as he settled back on the couch. “You would colour my opinions.” 

“No, really, show me.” Ellana became serious, pulling away. She retrieves the print out on his desk with Briala’s name on it. Scanning it through quickly on the first page, she puts it down. She understands now. 

“Her work is puerile, lacking in structure and shallow in thinking. She does not elaborate much on the thesis statement and she tends to jump to conclusions without linking in the evidence she provided, if she provided any at all. This tells me that she expects her readers to have foreknowledge of the content, which is often not the case. Papers are supposed to be clear and concise, especially this type of paper. She switches from first to third person at will, and quite involuntarily. Also what’s this.. font.. she’s using? Pick a serif and and san serif and stick to it, goodness! I also noticed that her kerning is really irregular.. and also somehow all the commas and periods are a different.. size? I think she selected them all and made them bigger so her paper looked longer due to the auto leading.” 

Ellana flips to the second page, scanning it once again. 

Solas watches on with a look of adoration in his eyes, his smile broadening as he stroked her arm gently. 

“Right here - she states that the ‘Prefecture of Emprise does not provide financial backing for projects they do not deem worthy of funding due to the set of rules set forth which require the applicant to provide cultural value and exemplify its glorious rebuilding.’ Apart from the horrendous run-on sentence, she did not cite where she got the information. I actually read the same document and it states that the information was from three years ago, making it outdated since their review which happened last month. I cited the more recent revision. Why are you looking at me like that?”

_ “I love when you do that.” _

“Do what?”

“When you get.. _academic._ It’s very attractive. I find it absolutely endearing when you character assassinate with evidential support.” Solas drags her chin close to his before he takes her lips once more. “It’s making me feel very amorous.” He admits softly as he deepens his kiss. 

“I love citations.” Ellana bites her lip. 

“Mmmm.. keep going..” He whispers back helplessly with a lovestruck look as he cradled her gaze, his lips barely detaching from her. Solas pushes her onto her back, covering her with his form. 

“I dislike hyphenations in sentences so I adjust my leading tolerance to 80%-120% for optimum sentence lengths.”

“Fuck.” Solas hisses, grinding his cock against her thigh. “I think I found a new kink.”

Ellana laughed quietly as she allowed him to kiss her collarbones. 

“I standardise the columns in my documents following the rule of thirds.. I paginate all my documents only after the content page because it shouldn’t be included until after the foreword.” Ellana manages as he unbuttoned her dress, taking a nipple into his lips. 

“You’re making me very happy right now.” He admits breathlessly as he returned to her lips. Ellana hooks her legs on his waist, allowing him to grind gently against her clothed body. 

“Perfect binding trumps saddle binding. I always leave a 0.5cm allowance for the book spine when I print my cover pages if I’m using 110 gsm paper.” Ellana whispered. 

“Fuck. Yes. Tell me about that perfect bind.”

“Laser… cutting… over… penknife…” Ellana purred back, biting her lip. 

He falls on top of her laughing as quietly as possible, planting many kisses against her neck as he rose once more. He finds his free hand stroking up her thighs before pulling her panties aside, a finger sheathed in her wetness.

_“You make me want to marry you.”_ He whispered as he pressed his forehead against hers. 

“Do it.” She threatened. _“Marry me if you dare.”_

Solas was about to lean down to kiss her, his fingers now tangled in her hair.

There was yet another knock at the door. He shuts his eyes in irritation, peeling himself away from her painfully. Licking the gloss from his fingers, Solas took a stride towards the door. Another interruption and he will be failing the entire class. Straightening himself out once more, he opens the door. 

“You again. What is it?” 

Briala shoves the door open, finding Ellana where she left her on the couch, laptop in hand. 

_“You.. me.. outside.. now.”_ She fumed, rolling her sleeve up. 

“I’m sorry I don’t engage in physical violence. You're _unarmed_. It would be dishonourable.”

“Just a chat, nothing violent.” Briala promised. 

“No thanks. I don’t think I have anything to say to you.” 

“Perhaps I might have something to say to you- “

“- Enough! Anything you have to say, do it here or get over it.” Solas interjects once more, his chest rising and falling with the anger he felt bubbling under his skin. 

Ellana arched a perfect brow, leaning back with a scowl. 

_“Cat fighting I hear?”_ The familiar silver voice of Mythal shuffling herself into the conversation as she trotted from the corridor, the clicking of her heels loud on the wooden floors of Solas’ office. She settled by Ellana’s side, winking. “Do carry on, I would love to assist with conflict resolution. Or moderating.. whichever.” 

“Not your department, Mythal.” Solas rolled his eyes, pointing at the door. “Shut the door. I don’t want more people in here. Varric is especially.. _chatty_ this week.” 

Mythal tiptoed towards the door, shutting it. She floats back to stand beside Solas.

_“This one_ thinks it’s unfair I have a favourite and doesn’t want to work with that one.” Solas indicated with a nod as he summarises. “ _That one_ defused the situation and found a new group to work with within minutes - _this one_ barges in and wants to give a piece of her mind.”

“I see, all caught up then. Any biscuits in here?” Mythal grinned, leaning by the table with Solas. 

Solas retrieves a tin of biscuits for Mythal to munch on.. loudly. 

Now she had two in her corner. Ellana glanced at Mythal, who mouthed the words ‘finish her’ before winking once more.

Ellana stands, pulling her sleeves up just as Solas does every time he was about to completely disintegrate someone in front of class. She watched Mythal elbow Solas, who rolled his eyes and moved a step away from her.

“If we are referring to your previous paper - if you can call a document of loosely strung concepts a paper, then I believe - “

“Ellana Lavellan you are the most arrogant, rude, stuck-up bitch I’ve ever had the displeasure of meeting, you think I care what you believe in? The world doesn’t revolve around you. It’s all _‘Ellana’s awesome, she got nominated for the DG by Prof, Ellana’s joining Sabre, did you hear Ellana is allergic to peaches?’_ I haven’t been in a conversation that didn’t involve you since you joined the class.” Briala illustrated with her hands before putting them back on her waist.

“Reverting to name calling suggests that you are feeling defensive and find my opinions valid. Not caring about what I believe in is all well and good, everyone has opposing views from time to time, but if we have to agree on a topic sentence to write about then logically we HAVE to agree on something! You can’t just disagree with me for the sake of disagreeing with me. We’re two weeks into the project and you’ve shot down every idea I’ve had. **Our paper BARELY MAKES ANY SENSE.”** Ellana retorts exasperated. 

Mythal whistles before clicking her tongue, the record button on her phone beeping as she ended the recording. “Point to Ellana.” She commented. Solas says nothing, but he could barely hide his smile. Adjusting his shoulders, he retrieves a biscuit from the tin as well. 

“What about when you don’t reply to my messages when I want to get together to discuss or talk to you about structuring?”

“There’s nothing you can say to me that you can’t also email me. Do not assume I will drop everything and answer your calls. I’m taking extra credit classes because I’m on the fast track and I often find myself struggling to even sleep at night.” 

“You never reply to my emails!” Briala exclaimed, pacing the room now.

“Two weeks ago, you sent one email with the tagline _‘add your bits into the document’_ without sharing the document file at me. I approached you in class and you told me to ‘tell my sob story to someone else’ before I could open my mouth.” Ellana picks up her phone, scrolling through her emails. “See? How can I add to a document _when I don’t.. have the document?”_

“I added you in after you told me.”

“Yeah.. yesterday. At 4am. I asked you _last week.”_

Mythal whistled again, her face covered in crumbs. 

Ellana shot her a glance, watching her hahrens looking on with pride. 

“I added everything I had from my side, and then you proceed to ** _DELETE CHUNKS OF MY INFORMATION OFF._** ” Ellana flashed her the document history. 

“It wasn’t relevant!”

“Oh - yes my citations weren’t relevant.. yes my contributions to five out of seven pages isn’t relevant. Sure.” Ellana shoots back without missing a beat. 

Briala stops before her. “I’m the editor, I-“

“-We edit together. It’s _OUR_ document. It’s the same grade we’re getting. Deleting what I added is detrimental to us. US. Because we’re a team.” Ellana emphasised. “Why would you do that? And then tell EVERYONE in all our group chats that I didn’t contribute when you're the one who deleted my data off? And then you go and take a screenshot of the document at the end and you highlight all the parts I did? You were petty and then you were malicious. Now you’re just childish.” 

Ellana shuts her down entirely, holding up her palm to the ceiling. 

“I’m no longer in your group, Briala, please.. whinge to someone else.” 

Mythal bites her lip in excitement, mouthing the word ‘whinge’ at Solas who arches his brows and nods. 

“And that’s why she’s my favourite.” Solas concludes. “Now please leave before I decide to fail you.” 

Mythal hops of the table, waving her fingers to Briala who exits the room wordlessly for the second time that day. “Look at you, taking no crap and all.” Mythal pats Ellana’s back. “Well done, good for you!”

Solas’ smile disappears as well, staring at Mythal.

_“You too.”_ He eyes the door. _“Leave.”_

Mythal rolls her eyes, booping Ellana on the snoot before she reaches for the door. 

“My biscuits?” Solas holds a hand out without looking at her. 

Turning around, she throws the empty canister back at him. 

“You owe me 40 sovs.” Solas hisses, tossing the canister away. 

_“40 sovs?! What are they.. made of gold?”_ Mythal exclaimed, stuffing a bill into Ellana’s hand. “Give it to him will you? Or don’t.. it’s your choice.” 

Ellana couldn’t help but smile. Just a week ago she felt like Mythal was this unapproachable lady boss type person, now she’s just.. friendly. She didn’t have to mistake her confidence for ruthlessness anymore, although she wouldn’t put it past Mythal to be absolutely cruel.

Shutting the door behind her, Ellana glanced up at Solas with the fresh bill in her hands. 

“Keep it.” Solas purred, pulling her back into his embrace. _“A prize for the winner.”_ He takes it before stuffing it into her pocket. “Now where were we?” He brings her back into his arms once more, his lips finding their way home.


	35. YELLOW ALERT

“I love you so much.” He mumbled in the early morning light. 

“I love you more.”

“Utterly impossible.” Solas responds as he pulled her closer in his expansive bed. 

Ellana sighed. “Deshanna is visiting today.” 

“I see.. did you clear out your dorm room and move back?”

“I also paid off the surrounding students to say I was there the entire time.”

“Good.” Solas praised, stroking her hair gently. 

Ellana turned to climb on top of him, the warmth of his skin felt welcoming and made her want to stay in bed longer. 

“Are you going to take down that massive painting of me over the mantel?”

“I’m afraid I have to, my love.” He sighed, the headache of taking it down.. and storing it. 

“Okay she’s having lunch with me and then I’m heading into your class after that, then we’re having dinner together right?” 

“Yep. I’ve booked a table at this place we’ve never been to, in case people think we’re regulars and they make conversation, and that’s not going to be so good for us.”

“Smart.” Ellana praised in return, shaking the sleep from her eyes. 

Solas raised himself from the bed, extricating his limbs from hers as he made his way to the bathroom. “Do you want me to draw a bath or no?”

“Yes.” Came the muffled half yell from the bed dwelling Ellana. 

He chuckled to himself before he made preparations for her morning ablutions. Such was the morning routine. Sleepy words, cuddle fucking and then a run-through of the day’s plans. He leaves to ready her bathtub, and she gets to snooze for five more minutes. 

This day, she decided not to snooze. Solas notices a pair of eyes watching as he ran his razor over his head. 

“You’re staring. I can’t shave right.”

“You can’t fuck it up, literally there’s no design to it.”

“Oh you think you can do better?” He challenged. Solas held the razor up to Ellana who approached with more glee than he had hoped for someone wielding a sharp object. 

“Sit.” She ordered. Running the blade quickly past his scalp, she was done within seconds. 

“See? Easy.” 

“I just tricked you into shaving my head for me.”

“If you do that again I’ll take your eyebrows too.” Ellana threatened, putting his razor into the sink as she ran into the bathtub. 

They didn’t know it yet, but they weren’t going to make it to school at all that day. 

The phone buzzed against the marble sink, Solas dries a hand and reaches for it as he sinks back in the tub to cradle Ellana. 

He nods slowly, looking more and more serious. 

“What is it?” Ellana adjusted herself to sit on his thighs. 

“School’s under lockdown, there’s been a pandemic warning.. the board wants everyone to be on digital learning so we’re reverting to that for this week.. or so. I’m not sure what the protocol is. We’ve never had this before. Media’s calling it _the Blight._ This is seriously going to mess with all the submission schedules for Sabre and all that.. and probably Deshanna is gonna be in lockdown too.. which is good for me, but that means we might call her later.”

Ellana nodded slowly. 

“She’s gonna notice that I’m not in my dorm.”

“She thinks you’re my daughter.” Solas confesses quietly, kissing her forehead. “Perhaps we should use this misconception to our advantage. It could be reasonable for me to say.. want you close by in a state wide crisis like this.”

“What about groceries?”

“I’ll have some delivered, I know many farms and organic places.” He reassures her. 

“What’s this pandemic about?” Ellana moved to dry herself, her hands were pruning from the water. She slings a robe over her shoulders before passing him her towel.

“I’m not sure either.. I need to read the emails they’re flooding my inbox.” He slips her an absentminded kiss as he leaves her alone to dress. 


	36. Painting

“Why do they call it the blight?” Ellana sighed as she walked into his study after drying her hair. 

Solas does not look up, instead placing a kiss over her elbow where he could reach as he sat on his pallet swing. 

“Because, my dearest, it affects the skin. Like the blighted leaves of crops, somehow skin to skin contact causes the infected person’s skin to flake and burn, and it’s highly infectious and affects mucosa as well as regular dermis.”

“What does that mean?” She frowned. 

“It means lips and eyes..” 

“And there’s an outbreak here?”

“Not yet, but if people are travelling it makes it easier to spread. Meanwhile we are all advised to wear long sleeves, and avoid physical contact with people.”

“So it’s like.. a pox..” Ellana moved his laptop out of the way to sit on his lap. Glancing at the laptop she accidentally spots the horrific images of bubbling skin and blackened pus. 

“Not.. entirely.” Solas sighed, putting it away as he hushed her. “We have to increase our cleanliness efforts, and we’re effectively in lockdown at the moment. I have people coming over in a while to deliver supplies. I’ve also made space in the downstairs pantry, we should be good for the next month if we alternate between canned and fresh foods. Maybe now is a time I can show you how to pickle things.. when I was a child I used to eat lots of pickled foods. Eggs.. onions.. fish.. meats.. anything.” 

Ellana frowned hard, looking away still trying to forget the image on the laptop stuck to her retina. 

“What about fresh fruit?”

“Apples last a while.. anything that needs time to ripen will last a while. Don’t worry. I’m taking care of it. It’s going to be fine.” Solas reassured her once more, putting her in his embrace. Out the window by the pallet swing, a blue convertible drives past. 

“I think.. Deshanna is here..” She points at the window. 

Solas exchanges a look with her. “Fuck.” He sighed. Springing to action quickly, he puts the laptop down. Ellana felt her heart pounding, she wasn’t ready to talk to her guardian yet, she wasn’t ready for any of it. She had in fact been avoiding her calls all month long.

“You need to get a suitcase and put it in the guest bedroom on the third floor, put your clothes in it we’re gonna say you just moved in.”

“What are you going to do?”

“Run around the house and hide all the sex toys back in our room? We don’t want her to find the handcuffs do we?” He laughed as he dashed out of the room. 

The blue convertible drive past another two times, Ellana guessed that as usual, Deshanna’s sense of direction was terrible. 

It took another half an hour before the doorbell rang. They were already seated on the couch, his hands tangled in her hair as his lips worshipped her on the divan. 

“One more kiss.” She begged, feeling his lips melt into her own. 

“Till tonight.” He promises. 

Reluctantly, he trots over to get the door. 

“Solas! It’s been a while, I’m so sorry for dropping by like this, campus security won’t let me out and won’t let me get to the hotel till they take a headcount of who is on campus.. so they said I might have to find stay for a couple hours.. Ellana?” Deshanna’s eyes popped as she spotted Ellana on the couch. 

Ellana waved as she crossed her arms.

“Prof insisted I stay here till this whole kerfuffle is over.. he doesn’t want me in the dorms.” Ellana pouted, she had decided to play the reluctant guest. 

Deshanna eyed him briefly as she mentioned the word ‘prof’. “You didn’t tell her yet?” She whispered as she brought her suitcase into the room.

“She’s.. getting used to it, I told her to call me whatever she wanted in the meantime.” Solas made an excuse, whilst entirely avoiding answering the question that Deshanna had implied. He needed to have enough deniability later on. 

Deshanna rolled her eyes and sat by Ellana’s side but a distance away. 

“Honey, it’s for your own safety. Plus, he’s right - the dorms are filled with teenagers with no sense of cleanliness or hygiene standards.. I would much prefer you here. Besides, it’s not like you haven’t lived with him before right? It’s not so bad..” 

Deshanna glanced around the room, admiring the decor until her eyes fell on a particularly huge painting on the mantel. 

“Is that - “

“ - I painted it.” Ellana lied. “I had to do a self portrait for a class, I didn’t have anywhere to hang it so.. I borrowed his wall.”

“It’s beautiful, I didn’t know you could draw like that..”

“There are many things you don’t know about me-“ Ellana was about to complete that thought when Solas cuts in.

“- How about some coffee? Hush, daughter, she’s traveled far to come to us.” Solas chided, his skin prickling at what he had to call her. Knowing that on some level, he did take care of her in a paternal way, and on another level he was completely bent to her will; it made him shiver with glee.

The afternoon was filled with a house tour and much hanging around the main living room area waiting for the news stations to provide more information. Every channel was saying the same thing, talking about the symptoms and how to prevent contracting it. 

Ellana found herself agitated and pacing the empty guest bedroom, might as well make it look convincing.. She started unpacking and placing her clothes into the wardrobe. She remembered that Solas had taken her against that particular bed before, rutting her like an animal till she screamed for him to stop after her orgasm. At least there was one good memory associated with it.

Finally alone with Solas, Deshanna could ask some burning questions. 

“So she’s adjusting well.. that is good.” She mused. 

“Of course, I know how to take care of her.” Solas said coldly as he continued checking his emails and replying to questions. 

“Is Mythal on campus too?”

“No she lives a while away. She doesn’t like being sociable with the students.. or being near me. I take it as a compliment - I don’t want her near me either.” 

Deshanna relaxes into the sofa as she half heartedly listened to a new broadcast on the developments of the lockdown. 

“Is she going to take your name now?” Deshana smiled, “Ellana Wolfe. Ellana Lavellan Wolfe. I’m still her mother, I don’t care. She’s my baby too.”

The name did have a ring to it, Solas found himself smiling as his mind drifted to their earlier conversation in his office. However, if he was to give his name to her, it would be by way of matrimony, not by relation. He scratched the back of his head as he tried to find an evasive answer. 

“You try and make her do something, do you know how difficult it is to tell her to do anything?”

“Fair point. Ellana doesn’t like being controlled. She’s impossible sometimes I’m so glad I’m no longer in charge of disciplining her..”

“In the best ways though, she’s difficult but she often has a reason for doing things her own way. I can respect that. ” Solas adds on after a moment of silence. “My life is immeasurably better with her in it.”

“Well I’m glad you feel that way.” Deshanna smiles and knuckled his arm. “Look at you! I don’t think I’ve ever seen you smile like this. What’s it feel like to have someone in your life again? Have you and Mythal worked out a shared custody situation? When did you tell her?”

“Right before the wedding actually, on the way to the wedding. And no, I don’t want her anywhere near that big house. With Elgar’nan in it. No way.”

“I agree. I dislike the beast of a man he is. Please keep her away from that bunch, Ellana needs space to be a child and I fear Mythal will want her to.. overachieve. Elgar’nan gives me bad vibes as the kids say.. How did she react?”

“She was shocked.” Solas kept it vague. “And I do my best to keep her away. We actually met them at the Sabre Gala dinner the other night.. You remember I told you she’s joining the competition?”

Deshanna went to the counter to refill her coffee before leaning over the edge of the counter for some cake.“Is that why you two were sneaking off in the middle of the wedding reception? At least Ellana wasn’t too heartbroken that her ex is marrying her high school bully.. But yes, I remember you telling me about entering her into some graphic design competition thing. I’m cheering her on in my heart.”

Flashes of the way she rode him in the car towards the end of the reception dinner came to mind as he suppressed yet another smile.

“She wanted to talk and set some ground rules. I find it perfectly acceptable - she wanted me to know that she was angry with me, and that she was also going to permanently stop paying attention in my class.” That part had some truth in it. “She also mentioned that she was going to raid my fridge for ice cream, and that she wanted to vent at me whenever she needed to about how I’m a bad person.” 

“She’s communicating with you? That’s very good, she hasn’t been doing that much with me lately.. I guess it’s what happens when you go to college. I remember I didn’t talk to my parents much too.. although I suspect it has something to do with me coming out.. I’m glad you two are working on it.” 

Deshanna smiled as she stroked the black cat which had snuck onto the counter to sit by her. “Hello there darkspawn cat..” She chuckled as it purred and rolled over before running away. “I haven’t seen your cat in ages!”

“He runs around, sometimes he’s in the house sometimes I don’t see him for days. Cats are strange creatures..” Solas agrees. 

Ellana descends from the stairs warily after unpacking her suitcase, settling next to Solas on the couch as she stuck her eyes onto the screen. It was getting worse, highways and airports were being sealed. Solas cleared his throat as she almost reached for his thigh, settling her hands back onto her own leg before Deshanna returned to the couch. He wrapped an arm around her shoulder before he sighed deeply

“It’s lucky we’re in the Frostbacks.. I can’t imagine wearing long sleeves in a hot climate.” He observed, adjusting the thermostat so it was colder in the room. Ellana shivered, snuggling closer to his arm. 

“It’s freezing in here.” Ellana complained, feeling her frozen fingertips on her cheeks. 

“Cold? I just turned it up..” Solas lied, putting the thermostat remote away. “Come closer, Da’len.” He purred, putting the throw blanket over her shoulder before wrapping her up in it. 

Deshanna smiled sadly, but was ultimately encouraged that he was taking his role seriously. She watched as Ellana buried her head against his neck affectionately, his hand wrapped around her form protectively. It had been too long since he held her, it was becoming unbearable. Ellana purred against his neck with joy, her tongue darting out to lick his skin. Solas grips her a little tighter as a warning until she stopped. 

The doorbell rang once more, and then twice. 

“That must be the groceries.” Solas perked up, extricating himself from Ellana who unfurls herself from the throw blankets and floats over to assist. He tips them generously for their services.

It must have been at least thirty crates, Ellana notices the truck parked out the front. There was another waiting to enter the driveway. Solas buzzed the gate open for the second truck to drive in as well. This was followed by carton upon carton of vegetables, fruits, condiments, tea, meats, fish, toiletries and painting supplies all unloaded across the main foyer to the point that it was difficult to even walk across. 

Deshanna floated over to the foyer that moment to assist with the inventory.

“Creators, this is enough for a small army.” Deshanna laughed as she relayed the boxes onto the counter and sorted them into piles that required refrigeration and ones that didn’t. 

“They actually did supply the army at some point, so you are correct.” Solas grinned, grabbing the wooden crate of art supplies first, everyone knew where his priorities lay. “My heart, could you grab the two canvases? I want them upstairs in my office, away from the direct sunlight. Quickly those are expensive.” He didn’t notice he had called her his heart, but when he did, his face turned deep red. From the corner of his eye, he could see Deshanna smiling at the words, she was glad that he was warmer to her than he was when they last met at the restaurant.

Ellana followed, struggling to turn the corner when they got to the second floor. With some tactical manoeuvring, she finally gets the canvases to the office, the door shutting gently behind her. 

“Too long.” He groaned as he pushed her against the wall, his lips finding hers once more. 

_“You like when you pretend to be my daddy don’t you?”_ Ellana chuckled quietly as she returned his kiss. 

“I guess you’ll have to sneak in and out of my room once more..” He sighed, a hand snaking under her top to fondle her lace clad breasts. “Mine. All mine. My princess." He reiterated. 

“Yours.” She sighed back, biting him softly. 

“I love you.” He whispered as he found her neck with his lips. “So much. I haven’t said it in an hour. It is torture. We must return..” Solas sighed, the space between them suddenly too much to bear as he pulled away to open the door once more. She snuck him one last peck before they reached the bottom of the stairs. 

Once everything was back in place, they returned to the divan. Ellana became a blanket burrito once more. 

Deshanna seemed to be in some sort of urgent phone call, frustratedly whispering into the phone in the far corner of the divan as she picked at her nails. Suddenly Solas regrets whisking them back onto the couch so quickly. Carefully, he unravels the badly draped blanket burrito and adjusts the blankets over the two of them so he would have access to her skin. She felt him tap her three times over her hip bone. 

_ I love you.  _

She found her hand firmly grasping his member once more under the blankets. Four taps against his tip. 

_I love you too._

Once Deshanna returned to a more engaging sitting position, Ellana retracts her hand from his slowly hardening shaft. 

“So I just got off the phone with the person I’m supposed to be meeting this evening, I guess we’re just going to have to do it online rather than in person.. Also there’s been an outbreak at the hotel I was planning to stay at…”

“Perhaps you could take the level 2 guest bedroom for now? It is a bit of a mess though..” Solas confessed, finding a rough patch on his head that Ellana had missed whilst she shaved him. He eyed her in irritation, bringing her hand to it. 

“See? You missed a spot.” 

“Okay fine. You win, shaving a head is difficult.” She growled. “You look like unevenly spread paint.” 

Deshanna spurted out her coffee as she laughed, doubling over and needing tissues because coffee was coming out of her nose. “Ellana no! Be nice!” She chided as she cackled. “I can’t believe you let her shave your head! She can’t even cut paper in a straight line!”

“ Well I am paying for it now aren’t I? I’m glad my hair is a topic of such great amusement to the two of you, I must correct this immediately. Deshanna if you might come with me, I can show you to your room..”He sighed, grabbing her suitcase as he made his way to the second floor. Solas leads her to the furthest bedroom from the staircase, the one situated towards the end of the corridor. 

Ellana could hear them talking, albeit a muffled conversation. She hopped her way back up to his bedroom’s bathroom, waiting with a razor. 

“Here you go.” She smiled widely as he took it and quickly remedied the hair situation. 

“You’re not shaving my head again.” He promised. “That or you need practice. ‘How hard can it be? There’s no design’ - no there’s technique!” Solas pecked her once more. “Come work in my office, my love. That way I can be with you, in privacy.” 

“Did you hook Deshanna up to the wifi yet?”

“Yes, and I didn’t tell her that the password was ‘icecreamhoarderellana’ no caps. She’s next to the other modem anyways, I’m sure working online anywhere else will be difficult so she will probably stick to being in that room.. away from.. our room..” 

Ellana blushed deeply, leaning against his shoulder. Once more the lack of contact was unbearable, she hadn’t noticed how constantly in contact they were until they couldn’t be anymore. 

In truth, Ellana had missed this. Family dinners, laughter at the table, dishes that everyone pitched in on. She missed the chocolate mousse her guardian used to make, and she relished the idea that she had to keep a secret once more. There was an alert on her phone, lighting up the screen. She frowned, blinking and struggling to figure out who she knew by that name.

“What is it, my treasure?” Solas tried to stop himself, but couldn’t in time. He reasoned that it was still within one of the acceptable things a paternal figure might say to his child. 

“I just got a weird email is all.” Ellana frowned, trying to recall the name.

“Read it out for us.” Deshanna dried off the plates, placing them one by one back into the shelves behind them.

“Dear Ellana, we humbly invite you to join our family for an afternoon of picnicking and conversation next weekend. Should you decide to bring your shadow with you, please note that he is also welcomed, however discouraged from bringing up the ‘ketchup’ incident from last year. Please do RSVP when you are available, we look forward to sharing our table with you. Your shadow knows our address. Sincerely, Dirthamen.” 

She looked up to see Solas gripping the edge of the table before he slammed a fist down. _“It didn’t have vinegar or sugar! It’s not technically ketchup!”_ He fumed. _“It’s a bisque!”_

Deshanna turned around with her eyebrows arched, putting the towel away as she placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. “Calm down, it’s just ketchup!” She laughed as she patted his shoulder. 

“No it’s not! It’s about the principle! Don’t call things what they’re not! It’s in the definition!” He added on as he finished the remainder of the wine. 

_“Who is Dirthamen?”_ Ellana finally asks as he calms down. 

Deshanna looked up. “Mythal’s boy.. one of them at least. Doesn’t he have a twin?”

“Falon’din.” Solas answers. “They should be a year or so older than you. Maybe two..”

Mythal had sons? Ellana knew she was beautiful, and that she had a lost daughter, but to picture two boys with golden locks and Elgar’nan’s cheekbones.. She mused internally. No, her preferences were simpler. She had what she wanted in Solas already. 

“Oh..” Ellana put her phone away as she watched Solas eat his ice cream aggressively. 

“Mythal calls you _her shadow?_ ” Deshanna mused, putting her phone to charge with the power bank laying close by. “You two must have been inseparable for her to say that. Good on you, I could never make Ellana follow me even grocery shopping!” 

She knew what he was going to say. 

“I’m not going. I’m afraid of Elgar’nan.” She answered quietly. 

Deshanna floated beside Ellana, a hand on her shoulder as she pecked her temple. “He’s not a nice man. He’s violent towards Mythal.. I don’t know what she sees in him honestly.” 

“Agreed. It’s lockdown anyways, you can’t leave the house. What a tragedy.” Solas chimed in as he threw his used spoon onto the sink, washing it quickly for fear Ellana would steal more of his cutlery. 

“So this is how it is huh? Sitting in the _‘dumped by Mythal’_ club..” Ellana mused. The realisation that both her adoptive mother and her boyfriend pretending to be her father have both seen Mythal naked at some point. 

Solas winced, pulling a face. “Oh no don’t say it like that please.. goodness gracious, why can’t we be the.. the..” He struggled to find a commonality, and saying that they had both at some point seen Ellana naked as well was maybe not a good idea. “We’re the.. Ellana’s.. support.. club..” He cringed some more. “No.. doesn’t sound right.” 

“We’re Ellana’s guardian angels.” Deshanna grinned, holding her close as she planted yet another kiss over her daughter’s brow. “We take good care of her. We keep her safe.”

“Yes! Yes why didn’t I think of that?” He laughed, “That sounds way better..” 

“Ellana’s _glucose guardians_.. non gender conforming phrase for sugar parents..”

“No don’t say it like that don’t make it weird please!” Ellana begged as her entire brain cringed. “Oh no now I can’t unhear it. Why do you have to make it weird?” She plucked herself from her arms before shifting back onto the divan to be close to the fire. 

“Alright, everyone go to bed now, it’s almost 10.”

Ellana and Solas exchanged a look before staring at Deshanna incredulously. “It’s still early..”

“Oh right, I forgot.. artists sleep at odd hours. Oh goodness putting the two of you together.. do you two even have a bedtime?” 

Solas grinned, thinking of the many nights he allowed Ellana to ride him till she collapsed from exhaustion around 3am in the morning. 

“We do, it’s just late and I find it difficult to enforce it whilst she’s living at the dorm. I can text her but she will ignore me.. as teenagers often do.” He caught himself after the first part of his sentence. “I curfew her at 1am.”

“1am! Goodness! Well, I’ve got an early call tomorrow morning so.. I’ll be up at 7 or so. I want to try and see if I can drive back so I can catch my publishers. We have to discuss a digital launch for the book.”

“Oh it’s out?”

“Yes! I brought you a copy actually, it’s a romance novel this time. And now we can’t launch it.. gosh this pandemic is making life super difficult for everyone..” She sighed. “I’m off the bed now, you two night owls.. sleep earlier it’s bad for your liver.” 

“Yes mother,” Solas groaned as he rolled his eyes. 

“I have to talk to you about something.” Ellana propped her had on the arm of the couch as she watched Deshanna make her way up the stairs. 

Deshanna pecked her forehead as she passed. “You two have a good chat. I imagine there’s a lot to catch up on.. it’s only been a week since you two have known..”

“Of course, my door is always open to you.” Solas answers diplomatically. They wait for the door of the guest bedroom to click shut before he carries her hurriedly back to their bedroom, throwing her onto the bed. He couldn’t wait any longer. 

He rips her shirt open, buttons flying and landing across the room as her breasts peak in the cold temperature. Solas covers the left nipple with his lips, suckling eagerly as his fingers lifted her skirt and slid into her accommodating folds. 

“Ahh, I remember this.” She smiled as he toyed with her. “Do you remember?”

“How could I forget?” He laughed quietly, bringing her close to his chest. “What did you do with that replica of my hand by the way?”

“I still have it.. I might need to use it tonight.” 

“No. You have my real hand.” He caressed her pearl with his thumb, eliciting a soft moan from her throat. “Let me have this, please, let me make you happy.” 

Ellana couldn’t resist, by the point of time any other day he would have made her climax twice over already - once in the morning and once at lunch. Today she was at an orgasm deficit. Solas moved between her legs, teasing her clit with his tongue as his fingers pumped in and out of her wetness. It didn’t take her long before she crested and buckled down, pulsing against his fingers with her climax. Moving up to her face, Solas hushed her with his lips to muffling her moans. 

“Quieter, my love.” He chuckled against her lips. “We don’t know who is listening.” 

Ellana moved back to her side of the bed, pulling a forgotten sweater from the space between the mattress and the headboard and wearing it quickly. “I don’t know how to do this..”

“It’s just for a while,” He sighed sadly, feeling her fingers trace the tip of his cock. “No, no I’m very loud when I climax, my pleasure is unimportant.” Solas takes her knuckles and presses a gentle kiss on each one. “But I appreciate your concern.”

“Classes resume tomorrow right?”

“I suppose you will have to be on the call as well for lecture, but you don’t need your camera turned on so I suppose it would be alright if we were in the same room.. Just mute your call. It doesn’t make much sense for you to listen to lecture from a different room if we’re in the same house..” 

Ellana snaked over to straddle him as he spoke, pressing her bare pussy against his trousers before grinding several times. 

“I saw you smile when you called me ‘daughter’.” She purred against his lips. _“There’s something deliciously forbidden about the concept isn’t there?”_ Ellana continued, removing his cock from its fabric prison despite his earlier objections. Very easily, his hardness found his way home, sheathed inside her as she clenched down. 

Solas gulped and looked away. “It’s wrong. I do not condone it.” 

_“But I’m not your daughter.”_ She reasoned. _“And you’re not my father. And I've called you daddy in bed before."_

Solas nodded, his mind starting to cloud over as he could barely concentrate with the way she was riding him. Gyrating strategically, she pushed down to the hilt. 

“Ellana, love, you are driving me crazy..” He admits as he watched her rise and descend, coating his shaft with her juices once more. _“Fuck..”_

“Sorry _babae._ ” She pouted, riding him faster now.

_“Ellana.. fuck.. don’t.. I’m.._ ” Solas gasped, covering his lips with his palm as he frowned with the amount of pleasure rolling through his body. 

“Do you like watching your baby girl ride your cock?” Ellana teased, lifting her sweater to display the slopes of her breasts to him. She guides his hands to play with her peaks. 

“Yes..” He admits quietly. _“Ride daddy’s cock, good girl.”_ He praised, feeling her warmth surrounding him. 

“Your turn.. _Neran ihn bre’palas, i vallasan bredhas i’ma’da’vin._ ” She whispered into his lips. 

“Fuck.. _oh fuck_.. Ellana.. good girl.. keep going.. keep going..” He whimpered helplessly as he felt his cock twitch within her. “Slowly..” 

Ellana slowed her hips, descending on his cock fully before pulling out. She could feel her thighs aching but she ignored the pain. Solas buries his face in her cleavage, kissing her softly as he felt his impending orgasm. 

A knock on the door. 

“Solas? Which bathroom can I use to take a shower?” Deshanna called from outside the door. 

“So close.. so close..” He whispered against her skin as he enjoyed the delicious way her breasts bounced against his face. “So.. so close..”

The door’s latch creaked as it opened, everything slowed down as Ellana bounced off his cock covering him with a blanket before settling a distance away at the edge of his bed away from him.

“No.. no don’t go..” He was right on the edge, he could feel his warm seed ready to ascend up his shaft to the warmth of Ellana’s awaiting cervix, so eager to fill her up.

“The one to the left of the painting studio!” She panted, feeling her pussy staining the sheets below her where her skirt covered the bed. Deshanna peeped inside with a smile. 

“I see, have a nice chat you two!” She shut the door promptly.

Right on the edge, he felt his balls shudder and ache with the inability to climax, his shaft twitching angrily with the loss of her wetness. Under the blankets, Solas’ cock _screamed._

This was going to be a difficult few days.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRANSLATION
> 
> Neran ihn bre’palas, i vallasan bredhas i’ma’da’vin. || I like it when you fuck me deep and paint my insides with your cum.


	37. accidents and abstinence

The following days ebbed by the same routine. 

Ellana would wake up at 6.30am in the arms of her beloved - in the bed they had shared for the past several months - and head into the guest bedroom where she had to pretend to stay at temporarily. Breakfast was promptly started at 7.15am, followed by Deshanna’s phone calls with her editors. She had taken to being situated by the dining room table rather than the room she was assigned, Ellana guessed it was due to the proximity to the fridge. 

Classes went on as normal, as much as possible. Ellana would kitty-corner to Solas by his study desk as he edited his own documents, and she would listen to lecture after lecture and complete her own work with his ankle hooked against hers. Sitting in silence was comfortable, it was really when she didn’t have her headphones in that she started to notice a slight annoyance creeping into her mind. 

Maybe it was the closeness of it all, or maybe it was that she was trapped in a house with a person who never told her that her Mother might be Mythal, and a person who dated Mythal and was now pretending to be her Father. Either way, there was friction in her mind. The first thing she noticed was the hovering. Solas.. hovers. If he were her dad, she would have described him as a helicopter parent. Ellana used to find it adorable when he would check in on her via text during her day, now it was the same frequency.. but in person. 

“What are you working on?” He asks for the fifth time that day, a gentle smile on his lips as he reached for her hand.

Ellana sighed and shut her laptop down, rubbing her eyelids gently. “I don’t know anymore, this whole online learning this is really messing with me. I keep reading the same sentence over and over and all I see is words, I am not internalising the information anymore..” 

“I see. How can I help?”

“Make the blight go away.” Ellana grumbled. “I’m sorry, I’m just irritated.”

“Perhaps.. a break?” Solas suggested as he placed his glasses on the table, capping his pen back. “I have several suggestions.”

“Do tell.” Ellana pouted, moving to sit on his lap.

“This is one of them..” He smiled gently as he cradled her close to his chest. “The other involves sneaking back to the bedroom for some personal attention.” 

Ellana weighed her options, calculating the risks in her head when it came to her adoptive mother who was mostly preoccupied with marketing strategy and budget at the moment. “Maybe it’s not a good idea..” Ellana pouted, seeking his lips briefly before pulling away. “The risks outweigh the benefits, maybe we should wait.”

“As you wish. I’m content simply being in your presence.” Solas replies quietly, pressing his forehead against hers. 

“Besides, some level of abstinence might be good in enhancing the results when we do get to.. be amorous once more.” Ellana reasons, somehow her hands end up undoing his shirt buttons slowly as she presses her lips into his. 

“Yes, abstinence.” He agrees, returning her advances with his own, his hand sliding up and down her thighs till he found what he was looking for. Pulling aside her panties, he plunged two fingers into her molten core, stroking gently in the way he knew she enjoyed most. 

“We should lock the door shouldn’t we? Lesson learnt..” Ellana mused, floating away from him to lock his study door. She saunters back to him like a hunter stalking its prey. He sits back in his chair, enjoying the display she had for him, watching her shed her dress before him and drape herself across the carpet in the middle of the room. 

“Quickly,” he urged as he almost ran to her side, dropping to his knees and crawling to her side. He repositions her to straddle him, his member yearning to be sheathed within her. He glances at his watch briefly before freeing his cock for her. “Five minutes. Then my next class is starting.” 

Ellana bit her lip as she lowered herself onto his cock, her sighs and purrs quieter than usual for fear of rousing Deshanna’s attention. It began slow, then faster, twisting herself against him in all the familiar ways. The closeness she felt was the most intense it has been for a while, riding him in his study on his carpet. She could see his breathing become ragged, his fingers digging into her hips as soundless repetitions of her name escaped his teeth like a prayer. Ellana moved his hands from her hips up to the gentle slopes of her breasts, causing him to buck upwards to her, desperate to make her happy. 

This was one of the traits she loved most about him. The fact that he was relentless in his pursuit of her happiness, and that he had more stamina than her. 

“Two minutes..” He gasped as sweat poured down his head, his face reddened as he enjoyed the sensation of being wrapped within her. 

“I’m not close yet.. I need more time..”

“I know, my love.. I.. I have class..” Solas’ breath hitched as he moved her onto all fours, thrusting hard and fast into her. “I’m already so.. sore.. from the other night.. I haven’t.. released in days.” 

“Please.. just a little late for class..”

“Class actually already started.. I was counting the 15 minute grace period.. one minute left..” He hissed, pressing her onto the ground as he mounted her once more. 

Ellana groaned in frustration before dismounting him. “Go to your precious class.” She grumbled, replacing her buttons on her dress as she left him hard and frustrated on the soft pile carpet. She watched as he gasped, grabbing her as he walked past. 

“You’re being insolent.” Solas chided, carrying her back to his chair and putting her on his lap. “Spread.” He said in a more commanding tone than before. 

“I don’t think-“

**_“-Spread.”_** He hissed one last time before he forced her legs open, gliding back into her with ease. Grabbing a fistful of her hair, Solas pushes her face onto the desk, her body leaning against the surface. His laptop rested on her back as he logged on into his class chat.

Ellana gasped, he was going to screw her whilst he taught - the overachiever in him unable to let the situation go. She could hear everything that was happening, he was teaching a higher level class today about public relations and arts venue management. He pulled out his notes, his voice level as he started conducting the class. Ellana could feel his hand snake forwards, finding her sensitive pearl on the apex of her legs as he began to toy with her. Up and down gently, and then pinching, and the circles, and then two fingers. Ellana whimpered as quietly as possible, feeling his cock twitching within her. 

Ellana pulsated around him, letting out soft sighs of pleasure as he played with her clit, in this position with his cock pressed against her in a different angle, she found it much easier to climax. Ellana wondered if it was because they were used to the spoon position and this replicated that angle the best. 

“Fenedhis..” He cursed as he dismissed the class for a 15 minute group discussion. Laptop muted and camera turned off, he removed the laptop from her back, lifting himself up only to begin thrusting into her once more. 

“Behave. Squeeze for me.” He commanded, grabbing a fistful of her hair and pulling her chin up so he could kiss her. “Good girl. Enjoy me.” The sound of his hips meeting hers was the only thing that she could hear, feeling his lips melt into her neck and against the cusp of her ear, dancing across her shoulders before reaching her other ear once more. Biting down hard, Ellana felt herself squeeze even tighter than before. 

_“What happened to abstinence?”_ She whispered back, reaching between her legs to fondle his shaft as he penetrated her. 

“Hmm? I’m sorry I don’t understand the question.” Solas played dumb, biting her neck hard before he continued to screw her. He shoves two fingers down her throat, feeling it close around his fingers, his other hand coming up to her waist to hold her in place. 

“Close.” He whispered into her ear. _“So close.”_

She felt panic rising in her chest as she couldn’t get his hands out of her mouth. 

_“Close… Oh fuck.. Ellana.. you’re perfect.. you’re perfect.. oh.. your wetness.. is perfect..”_ He moaned softly as he shot into her awaiting cervix. Ellana squealed, gripping and clawing at his arms, hitting him several times. She gasps as he releases her, his still dribbling cock pulled out before he could enjoy the entirety of his pleasure.

“Have I hurt you? I’m so sorry!” He fussed as he examined her, offering her a comforting kiss. 

Ellana’s jaw remained opened, her eyes wild.

_ “Solas.. I’m ovulating this week..” _

His face went pale, a gulp caused his throat to tighten as he blinked. It was almost time to return to class. She remained on his table with his essence tricking down her thigh, her hand flying to cover her mouth as his class returned to the call. 

Clearing his throat, he adjusted his screen to face more of the ceiling. 

“I want everyone to go through the rest of the slides, I must attend to something urgent at the moment, please read through and have an outline sent to my email in an hour. Class dismissed.” He hurried through his words, slamming the laptop shut once again so he could attend to Ellana who was still in shock and frozen, his seed now pooling on the edge of the table where she sat into a semi translucent puddle the depth and width of several coins. 

He found her lips with his own once more. “Darling? Do we still have a plan B pill?”

_“I took the last one last month..”_ Ellana’s eyes went blank as she held onto him. She felt the back of her neck tightening as her chest tightened around her heart. She could feel her pulse in her fingertips.

“Okay, can we go to the clinics?”

_“And risk getting an even worse disease?”_ Ellana countered as she felt her head grow light. “I don’t think so.”

“I can go and get it for you, you don’t have to come with..” Solas comforted her, bringing her close to his arms. “This is my fault, I shouldn’t have been so careless.” He shushed her quietly as she began to weep in his arms. 

“The latest I can take it is 48 hours..” Ellana whimpered through her tears, feeling her thighs wet from their previous activities. “I mean I could always.. if it’s within a month.. there’s..”

_“No,_ the hospitals are even more dangerous than the clinics.. What if I.. What if.. I call a clinic and make an appointment for tomorrow.. then I can head down and collect your pill for you - in and out - no mingling.” He reassured her. 

“No, no don’t,” Ellana panicked even further, looking up at him with her watery eyes. “Oh gosh I hate you so much right now.” She clawed at his back as he held her close. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry I couldn’t control myself, I’m so sorry I deserve your anger,” Solas repeated as he rocked her gently. “It’ll be alright, I promise you I will take good care of you, I will stand by whatever choice you want to make.”

“I’m not ready for this, I need to wash it out quickly..” She pushed him aside forcefully, dashing for the master bedroom bathroom. Ellana plunged into the shower, turning up the heat as she dug out what remained within her, feeling the viscous consistency on her fingers. Her hair, her body, she washed herself clean of his touch. He had ejaculated within her before, except all those times she was on the pill and clinics were open, and pharmacies weren’t jam packed with fearful citizens. The convenience of birth control was quickly forgotten and deeply appreciated in a post pandemic world. 

Solas ran into the bathroom behind her, sitting on the chair located near the mirror of the bathroom, his hand supporting his head. He hands her a towel as she exits, dripping and slightly more cohesive than before. 

“I want to stay in your room tonight. I don't want to be completely alone.” Ellana felt shaken, unable to accept the reality that the actions she took so lightly before could result in an unwanted pregnancy if this pandemic situation does not get better soon. 

“I’ll tell Deshanna that you are feeling unwell and I wish to take care of you.” Solas corroborated in agreement, unable to deny her of anything that might bring her even a slight bit of comfort in her current state of being. “I’ll make an appointment for the doctor tomorrow, or maybe we can go to a more specialised OBGYN, I’m sure those places are lesser targets for blighted patients..”

_ “It will be more expensive..” _

“Yes, but it’s safer. I’ll try and find a reputable women’s clinic, and I’ll take care of you, I promise this.” Solas held her hand, kissing her knuckles gently as she continued to spiral into anxiety. 

“I need some space. Please leave me alone until I want you to come back.” She shut her eyes, remembering the anxiety attack management technique that Mythal had taught her. 

"Of course. I love you." Solas whispers back in a pained tone, his eyes shimmering with the weight of his actions. He shut his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose with his thumb and index finger. "I'm so sorry."

"I love you too.. I just need a moment to deal with this."

Watching Solas retreat from the room, she began her breathing exercises.


	38. NOT A CHAPTER

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a call for writers!

DA:I RP ON DISCORD

Hello everyone! 

We’ve started our discord RP group and we have several characters that are still available! We are easing writers in slowly so as to see how the dynamics feel before going all out. 

The available writing roles for now are:

  
\- Iron bull   
\- Vivienne   
\- Josephine   
\- Cassandra   
\- Blackwall   
\- Hawke (any gender) 

Currently in play are:   
\- Cullen   
\- Solas   
\- Cole   
\- Varric   
\- Dorian  
\- Sera

\- M!Lavellan   
\- F!Lavellan   
\- F!Trevelyan

If you’re interested in joining us, please do DM me and prepare a little intro on yourself/your writing experience and who you wanna write!! If you want to write a character I have not listed, just drop me a message and we can go from there! 

Thank you!! And have fun!!


End file.
